one more day

[AnnaM0912]

Tomorrow it will be one year. One year ago today I lit my last cigarette, inhaled that sweet sweet Marlboro Red 100, and said maybe tomorrow will be my quit day. And it Was. And it has been. But damn, today has been one hell of a day.

Nine hours ago I was curling my hair to go to my god sons 10th birthday party and my almost 2 year old walked in the room. We were chatting and before I knew what happened she reached out and grabbed the hot metal end of the curling iron.

She dropped it as fast as she picked it up, and, in a panick I reached down and also grabbed the hot metal end of the curling iron with my thumb and forefinger. I manage to get the iron turned off and unplugged as my little erupts into frantic blood curdling screams, and I try not to to the same.

We tried cold water, we tried ice, we tried burn cream. I'm a kitchen trainer so I've seen my fair share of burns, and as far as burns go these looked 'superficial' to me (nothing painful looks superficial on your toddler), and I decided to take her to the ER.

I was so lucky to have my 10 year old there to help get ice and calm her sister down, but that look on her face and the tears that fell as she heard me tell my partner over the phone what needed to happen, I'll never forget that look.

After a 3 hour trip to the ER, poor thing has blisters on her thumb and first two fingers, I have instructions to keep bactine, a nonstick pad, and gauze wrapped around her tiny but fierce hands. Anyone ever try to put gauze around the hand of a defiant toddler who's favorite word is no? If you have, I'm looking for suggestions. If you haven't, don't let you toddler grab a curling iron, your life will be better lacking the experience.

Older kid is relieved sister is ok, was sent to a friends house to detox. Tiny has finally passed out, barely wrapped up and still clutching an ice pack.

Mama wants a black Russian and a pack of Marlboro 100s. I feel like a shitty mom. Who has a curling iron where there toddler can get it? What the hell was I thinking? Also, that ER trip is gonna cost me a pretty penny, if she is fine shouldn't I have just treated her at home?

Never had a day harder than the day before my one year, and I'm grateful to not have a way to get cigarettes right now.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm sorry you had an awful day.

We can't plan for everything but we can plan to not smoke.

Congratulations on a year!

[indingrl]

CONGRATS ONE YEAR TODAY JANUARY 5TH 2020 - YAHOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!! Thanks for sharing YOUR courage and nervousness and fears and solutions in unconditional love for ALL involved in living life on life's terms - one day at a time - GOOD JOB!!!!!  staying a NON SMOKER - much sympathy and EMPATHY from ME  - 3 kids experience under MY belt - ALL grown now thanks to MY God - YOUR a good loving - number ONE -  MOM to ME - it was an sudden ACCIDENT - those suddenly in life - on life's terms HAPPEN - SUDDENLY - YOUR MOM response - ER visit - go to the professionals -  even though YOU have seen many burns and have past experiences with kitchen burns - YOU chose love leading YOU NOT your pride and decided to go above and beyond for both YOUR children - knowing each one - individually - watching YOU - they have YOUR wisdom in them NOW for later in their life toolbox - they learned through this ER of life and a good response solution!!!! YOU remained -  a NON SMOKER - responsible and totally leading in love for YOUR self and each of YOUR kids - in MY book - CONGRATS!!!!!YOUR A NUMBER ONE NON SMOKER MOMMIE in MY Lord Jesus name amen WAY TO GO!!!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Life is always going to happen.  Sorry a big chunk of it hit you today. 

Please keep in mind that smoking would not have done ONE thing to make it easier for longer than that one cigarette - and it would have led you right back to being a smoker who wishes she could quit.  There is never such a thing as "just one."  It will ALWAYS, maybe not right away, but ALWAYS, lead you back to being a full-time smoker  Your daughter deserves a Mommy who doesn't smoke.

The fingers will heal - don't put so much blame on yourself.  Sh*t happens!  You are dealing with it without smoking and should be proud of your year and that!

Nancy

[sweetplt]

You received some great advice above me...time to learn other stress relievers .... like taking 10 to meditate, breath, etc., stay vigilant smoking won’t help you our your daughter...glad you came here to vent...Hope you both feel better soon...I know how awful burns from a curling iron can be ... Hope today is a better one...~ Colleen 398 DOF 

[Barbscloud]

That's why they call them accidents.  If we knew everything that was going to happen to us in advance we'd go insane.    You've been "tested" for your one year anniversary and you knew what you weren't going to do.   You also made the right decision getting her medical care.  That's she is OK  is hindsight.   Poor little thing.   Come back tomorrow and celebrate the big day.  I know how important it was to me celebrating my one year anniversary.

Barb

[maryfreecig]

You kept yourself smober. Not luck. Keep working your smobriety one day at a time. 

[AnnaM0912]

Thanks for your kind words ya'll. Just had our burn clinic checkup and that little pretty much back to 100%, she will even give you a great high five with the healing hand. 

So proud to have gotten through another life event and having kept my 'smobriety' and thankful to have ya'll to reach out to when I'm struggling. 

[Barbscloud]

So glad the little one is doing OK.   Big congrats on your one year smoke free.  Welcome to the 6 % club!

Barb