okay so as of tomorrow i need to stop taking the chantix. i mean i cant take it forever right? nope i cant. eventually my will power needs to get stronger. my mind just plays soo many tricks on me when it comes to smokes. its like it makes up excuses (and the dumbest excuses ever might i add) for me to light up.
i went to my doctor today who told my i may be bipolar and that the chantix has been known to screw with people who already have an existing mood disorder. so then she precedes to tell me that i threw myself into a manic episode. which i guess looking at the whole pic now.. it makes sense. she tells me that my "manic" episodes are severe irratability instead of high energey. well leme tell you that i am SOOOO IRRITABLE!!! yesterday i screamed at the shower head. the shower head!!!! isnt that crazy. and then today the landlord just "reminded" me to clean up after my dog in the back yard... which is a harmless request... i have a dog and the proper thing to do is pick up after her.... well i lost it!!!! I was fuming!!! now i kept my mouth shut and instead of flipping out and running my mouth i went into work early and made myself busy, but maan o man i am one crabby biotch. i cant stand being around myself.
soo anyways point being im stopping the "magic" pill tomorrow. i just hope that the last few months i have developed enough coping skills to get through my mind's tricks.
and might i ask another question... how crazy am i ..if im now diagnosed with bipolar II disorder??? cuz i sure feel like an oddball out now. i actually am quite disturbed about it.
anyone?
