my old habits very clear & persistant right now!

[Amber4]

Good Evening all,

I am, and have been, at a conference for work for the last couple of days.  I get to see people who I havent seen in months.  And, yes, you guessed it...they are my old smoking buddies. They are "respecting" my quit, the way that smokers do...half assed.  I am sad now because I am in my room, not out drinking and smoking with them.  While today is day 28...I just do not feel strong enough to be out with them right now.  So I bid them good night and came to my room.  Why do I feel so alone right now?  I saw them ALL day.  I went for walks during my breaks, while they were smoking, and had a great evening walking around Chicago.  But now, I feel sad that I am not out there with them.  Is this the nicodemon finding a weakness within me? a social butterfly hiding in her room?  "Oh you could have just one with them, for old times sake."  "look at all the socializing you are missing out on" "you have no friends here now"  "you are just a party pooper. Go drink with them and if you happen to smoke, dont worry about it.  It wont change your quit."

I am protecting my quit, hiding in my room. 😞

[katie64]

STAND STRONG! 28 days----AMAZING! Remember all the hell you went through the first week--you do not want to go through them again!

[Dakota_Posse]

....that darn Nicodemon is trying to get you to start smoking again.....don't let him DECIDE how to live your life....YOU are in control....YOU decide what you are going to do!

Stay strong and keep coming out here and blogging!

Cindy

[bean5]

Good for you.  Sometimes it is better to separate yourself from a situation when it means your quit could be jeopardized.  I am kind of going through the same thing at work.  I work in a restaurant and most everyone smokes.  Well, now that I don't smoke anymore, I feel like I have been somewhat ostricized.  I don't hang out with them to chit chat while they give themselves all kinds of health issues.  I will take being somewhat of a loner and being proud of myself.  After all, we are the ones who have to look at ourselves in the mirror every morning.  Be proud, you are the strong one of the bunch.

[madsmurf]

Hey! Don't look at it like you're hiding in your room. You're not hiding, you're hanging out with us! 😄 WE are the cool kids! LOL No really. Good job on protecting your quit. 🙂

[mikecity]

Way to protect you quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Happy 28 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Stick with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ash19]

Well done Amber,

I was in the same situation myself two weeks ago and I am so delighted I did not cave into those nasty cravings, actually they are not really cravings they are the old habits kicking in.  Bet you are fast alseep now and you will wake up feeling very proud of yourself.  Today will be much easier because you got past last night, you are creating new habits.  I am so happy for you because this was a big deal and you did great.  Don't risk your quit for the sake of a few days with people you won't see for another few months.  You will go home after your few days and you will be feeling empowered and stronger in your quit.

Keep it up, you did a great.

Ash ( I have actually stopped counting my days but its around six weeks, still a newbie)

[jojo_2-24-11]

Amber, don't ever feel like you are wrong in what you are doing, quitting smoking, staying home etc..... You are doing great, there will a time when you are much stronger in your quit when you can go out with your friends and have a drink or two. Always protect your quit!

[lisa11209]

Hi Amber, whatever it takes, you need to do.  Four weeks is a great quit and the foundation for the best investment you could possibly make.  Have faith that it will get easier.  There will come a time that you can go out with your buddies and be grateful you remain a non smoker, until that time, do what you need to do to protect yourself.  When is your conference over?  Do you get to go home soon?  I will be thinking of you today, take good care.  Lisa

[AutumnWoman]

Amber, just think of the regret you avoided by keeping your quit.  No hangdog feelings, no debating with yourself about whether you're going to be honest with us (or yourself) -- you were.  You made a life-affirming choice.  Attagirl!! N.O.P.E.!

[SaraSmile]

Good for you Amber!  You gotta know your limits!  There will come a time when you can join in the fun and games but kudo's to you for know now's not the time!  That took guts and I'm proud of you!   

[jaime11]

Just think...this morning they are waking up, probably hung over, smelling like an ashtray.  You on the other hand are waking up feeling refreshed, taking deep breaths and ready to tackle the day. And day 29 at that - almost a month -great job!!!!

[Julia_Amy]

Amber, would you agree that you had an addiction to nicotine?  What is it called when someone stops an addiction?  Recovery.  If you just had a surgery you would have to rest, take extra good care of what you did, right?  Not forever, right?  Just until you got stronger...same here.  You are early in recovery and have wisely chosen to take care of yourself.  The next conference you'll be out smokelessly tearing up the town with the best of them! You did well girl!  Keep out-thinking the addiction! 

[Amber4]

Good Morning!  And it is a good morning.  I did not smoke last night.  I will not smoke today either.  It was hard, and I felt very lonely....but that is just the nicodemon trying a new trick to get me to smoke.  I stayed in my pj's and under the covers reading a book until I fell asleep.  Now this morning I am refreshed.  Still feel the nicodemon lurking close, but feel strong today. 

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragment!!!  You all truly are the cool kids.  🙂

[Bonnie11.3.2009]

It's a good thing to know when you need a time out. You'll never regret the efforts you're going thru now to protect your quit, but, for sure, you would regret going out drinking and smoking.  Not worth the chance right now, you're very new.  Sometimes being your own best friend is really the best company.

[pugs_girl]

Great job Amber!!!!  Yeah, i too felt that same alone feeling, but when you can walk away from this meeting and smile that you didn't give in, THATS when you will feel empowered!!!!  I am so proud of you! This quit is the most important decision that you will make.  Don't let a stupid habit change that!  Make new habits!!!!  🙂

[mellie4]

i am proud of you!! You stood strong and protected your quit !! good for you Amber !!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Its the habit. The memories of all the times you smoked. you feel like you are missing out.

you are. you are missing out on carrying around a beautiful mini wheeled oxygen bottlen everywhere you go.

among other bad things

[lisa11209]

Good for you, so glad you protected your quit!