my god

[this-is-it]

So I haven't actually reached my quit date yet, I set it for the 21st but I have been doing research on places such as american cancer society and It scares the shit out of me, yet I keep on smoking. I have family members who have literally died because of smoking, cancer caused by it, strokes caused by it and it still doesnt seem to stick in my head. I am studying to be a nurse, and I always told myself once I made it in the program I would stop because who wants someone telling them what to do when they cant do it themselves. If I was put in that position I would literally tell them to go shove it right? I just feel ridiculous, I hate the fact that I smoke, but it doesnt change the fact that I LOVE TO SMOKE!!!! one thing I am trying to adjust to and have been thinking about alot is study days, my breaks consist of going out for a cig and then I can get right back to studying. Now once I quit, the fact that I don't have something that allows me a break inbetween the countless hours of studying scares the crap out of me. WHAT TO DO? I workout for at least an hour most days of the week then what do I do after my work out? go out for a smoke..lol. Its just pathetic and I am so tired of being dependent upon these "killers" I am 21 and I hope I can kick the habit before it becomes life long. I love my family, my boyfriend and my future kids and that is what is really motivating this final quit. I quit for 4 months previously and then the drinking and the one puff trap hooked me right up in it again. I want to quit,but it scares me to death. I don't want to die of cancer, or even worse emphazema which is the most terrible disease you can watch someone suffer from. You think that would of made me quit right, but nope, i keep on lighting up. I feel so worthless for letting something so ridiculous take over my life like this and I want them to just go away. In 2 days, this has got to be the last. No more of this back and forth crap. It gets me SO ANGRY!!!! I like to end my writings with quotes, and this is one of my favs by my hero-alex rodriguez. "ENJOY YOUR SWEAT, BECAUSE HARD WORK DOES NOT GUARANTEE SUCCESS, BUT WITHOUT YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE." smoking is going to take an abundence of hard work but I am committed, and just like the previous hurdels in my life I have overcome, I WILL OVERCOME THIS ONE!!!!!!!
Good luck to all,

[libby]

Until you decide to do it nobody elses suffereing makes an impression. I watch my 36 year old brother die of throat cancer. He and I had a cigarette the night he died, while he was on oxygen in his home. Still, I did not quite for many years later. I have smoked for 40 some years, I hope you can quit while you are young enough to not have to worry about the horrible diseases that go with it. I am afraid that I will be one of those ones you talk about w/emphazema. Not yet, but you never know down the road what damage has already been done. Good luck to you, it is worth the pain.

[sue10]

I too am in the healthcare field and have often said that nurses are one of the worst offenders when it comes to smoking. (I hope I haven't gotten anyone mad at me.) I once took a class on addicitions and substance abuse in college and at break time everyone including the professor, a clinical psychologist, went out to smoke. That was the year 2000.

The fact you are angry is a good thing. Ask yourself, who is in control here ... the cigarette or me? Get mad at the cigarette and bury it outside along with all the packs and lighters. You mentioned emphazema. I was just told about 1 month ago I had early stages of the desease. I am 54 years old and have smoked for close to 40 years. That diagnoses scared me enough to set a quit date.

I would advise you to go easy on yourself. Look at a calander and pick a date, perhaps 2-3 weeks from now. Look into trying Chantax, the patch, or the gum. (My helper is the patch.) You have to really, really want to quit. As to what will you so on your "smoke break?" Put your feet up and try deep breathing. Or, try walking around. Just gather up all the will power you have NOT to smoke and before you know it the break time will be over ... and so will the cravings.

This is the end of day 7 for me. It's been hard. My husband smokes, but at least he goes outside now.

You are young. I wish there were sites like this back in the 70's when I was your age. Best of luck to you.
Sue

[bethany4]

Wow! Do I feel like I am listing to myself when I read this except I let 24 yrs past till I decided there are no more excuses. We all think we loved to smoke its not the smoke we love its the nicotine and the addiction to it...I went through nursing school also and it was one of the hardest things I ever did besides quit smoking..You seem to have a great mind set , think you can and you will...I just told myself I would never take another puff no matter what, I will not be sad cause what is there to be sad about if you really think about it, what has smoking done for me absolutely nothing good we all know that....Just stick to your plan and come here often, I stay busy and that really helps....Good luck....

[beth24]

Sounds like your way of thinking is exactly what you need to quit smoking once and for all. It's probably the hardest thing to do but with determination, you'll be a success. Come to this site often during your quit to get the support and encouragement. I'm on 11 days and I know I wouldn't have made it this far without all the people here. Good luck. Keep us up to date on your progress.

[lynne4]

I agree with the others, pin a quit date and do the research. You increase your chances by 50% with some type of help i.e. Chantix, that is what I used and let me tell you it works. You have to want this, but do the homework, figure out why you smoke, what your triggers are and what you are going to do to replace them i.e when you go study, what is going to be your break, a short walk, deep breaths, perhaps a healthy snack, you get the picture. As many of us would like to have done this at your age, don't waste a good portion of your adult life hoping to quit, I wish at your age I wanted to quit and did it. You may love smoking, I did too especially with a glass of wine, but after time and fortunately for you, you already are thinking how stupid it is and how much it is going to effect you, go with that. I never thought it could touch me, but as the years go by, you get more winded, get sick more often, start to cough in the morning and you realize that smoking really isn't that great. I wish you the best of luck and be proud of yourself that you want to quit, just do it!!

[edith2]

Hey, if I can do this, you can too. I was a diehard smoker and I kept going and going and made the Engergizer bunny nauseous. I had no desire when I quit. I did it spur-of-the-moment. I was scared to get rid of my "best friend and comfort blanket." It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I feel alot better and I know I've saved tons of money. I love being a non-smoker. The beginning of the quit was horrible, but worth every second.