mind thing

[lois13]

when will this go away/? trigger all week, for a while i did not think about smoking that much, now i have got to remind my self why i want to quit, the new wore off. being out side in the yard is a big trigger, but i am not going to stay in the house on pretty days, i need to regroup  help i want to smoke and i don't know WHY.

[Julia_Amy]

Lois, I don't think you want to smoke. You are probably remembering a feeling that you have hooked cigarettes up with. Stop and ask yourself what is the real thing you are looking for. I just had to do that. For me it was how to gain reward. It goes more deeply than I'm sure you would want me to explain, bore you to tears, lol. My point is, it want a cig I wanted, the cig was just the quick fix. Try to ask yourself ok? You did well to come here. You've done a great job, don't throw that away, dear.

[Julia_Amy]

Meant it was not a.cig I wanted...

[lois13]

thanks Amy,

[family-first]

No!!! You do not want a smoke! You have a few new triggers going on. Do not make the mistake that I did! Where is nancy with that romancing thie cig memo? Go back and read it! You are doing so well...breathe...walk...have a delicious treat! NOPE!

[Ex_Nancy]

Dear Lois, I think it would HELP you to write this down and memorize it...Smoking is only an  addiction game....just like alcoholics and the people that are hooked on DRUGS have to get though...smoking is a drug addiction LOIS...get it straight in your mind....

What happens to some people is that when they are off smoking for a certain time period they start fixating on a cigarette. By that I mean they forget all the bad cigarettes they ever smoked, they forget the ones they smoked without ever really thinking about them even at the time they were being smoked, and they start to remember and focus on one good cigarette. It may be one they smoked 20 years earlier but it was a good one and they now want one again.

It's a common tactic for the ex-smokers to try and tell themselves that they do not really want that "good" cigarette. Well, the problem is, at that moment they really do want it. An internal debate erupts, "I want one, no I don't, one sounds great, no it doesn't, oh just one, not just one!" The problem is that if the ex-smoker's focus is on just "one" cigarette then there is no clear-cut winning side to the debate. The ex-smoker needs to change the internal discussion.

Don't say that you don't want one when you do, rather acknowledge the desire but ask yourself, "Do I want all the other cigarettes that go with it." Then, "do I want the package deal that goes with the others? The expense, social stigma, smell, health effects, possible loss of life. Do I want to go back to smoking, full-fledged, until it cripples and kills me?"

Stated like this it normally is not a back and forth debate. The answer will normally be, "No, I don't want to smoke under these terms," and those are the only terms that a cigarette comes with.

Normally if viewed like this the debate is over almost immediately after being pulled into focus. Again, if the focus is only one, you can drive yourself nuts throughout the entire day. If you focus on the whole package deal, you will walk away from the moment relieved to still be smoke free and sufficiently reinforced to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

[family-first]

Thanks Nancy! See...you DO NOT want one.... 🙂

[bella65]

good advice their nancy I love that Lois you are just like me in the begining last weekend i had some smoking memorys and i thought it was because of the weather i had my best friend around me and it really helped.its just  a memory you dont want that smoke im so glad you came here and told us abou it you can do it

[maxsmiles]

Hi Lois.  I read a post the other day called the "first theory".  It said that we have to face all the old smoking situations again but now  as a  new non smoker.  Once we face them down we will be OK.  You have to face down these nice Spring days when you used to smoke.  I did my taxes yesterday and got a little frustrated.  That is when I would go out and have a couple smokes.  But I faced it down , got a drink of water and finished my taxes.  I know there will be other firsts down the road that I will need to fight through too. I will fight through these "firsts" right along with you.  I promise.  You can do it.  Stay strong!!  Prosper, Max,