i survived day 1, bring on day 2

[shereen]

i made it thru day 1. it wasn't too bad. the first day usually isn't for me, it's day 3 that i usually cave. i mean, not saying that i didn't have my moments yesterday. the little jolt of panic when i reach for my cigs and they're not there (wtf!?!?)

initially, i thought determination was my best friend, but thank the goddesses and gods for my sense of humor (warped as it may be) so i can laugh at my withdrawal behavior. one moment in particular -- it was actually the worst moment for me, i couldn't find my nicotrol inhaler instructions. i couldn't remember how many cartridges i was allowed to "smoke" a day. i had already had two. i was frantic!!! i totally forgot that i had internet (hello!), i had to find this piece of paper! once i found it, i was so wigged out, i couldn't even read it to find the info -- i was literally TALKING to the paper!!! "i just want to know HOW MANY i can have a day!!!!! dammit!!!!!"

i was SO frustrated, i wanted to tear this little paper into tiny pieces and stomp the crap out of it for being so uncooperative!!! stoopid, stoopid piece of paper!!!!! at this point, a glimmer of rationale made it's way into my brain and advised me that if i hurt the defenseless piece of paper, i would not get the information i so desperately sought....so, i took a breath, and lo and behold, there it was!! plain as day!!! i can have 16 cartridges a day!

well, now i just feel silly and once i realize i can have 16 a day, i really don't want one as badly as i thought i did.....hehehehehehee....ahem.....

SIXTEEN?!?!? well, hell!!! i must be doing REAL good!!! i've only had 2 and i'm freaking out because i want a third one??? and then i hear this little voice deep down in my head whisper "you just wait, girlie, you just wait....." uh oh.... ok! well, maybe i will have that 3rd cartridge after all.... well, that part's not funny, but anyway.....

i had forgotten about the dreams....i tend to have very detailed, technicolor dreams anyway. last night in my dreams, people were smoking, i was smoking, the cats were smoking, the funny thing was none of the cigarettes were lit! every time i tried to light i cig, i couldn't get close enough to the flame to light it. so i woke up, my mouth was pursed like i had a cigarette in it and i was stretching my neck as if reaching for a light from someone. i had to chuckle over that!

it'll be interesting to see what day 2 brings.......

[shereen]

BWAH!!! i used to be that way, too!! 😄 i can't work anymore, so no coworkers to give me grief.... just the cats 🙂 and, of course, the voices in my head..... wait, maybe those are my coworkers.... heheheheheee

[matt-antinoro]

Stay Strong!

About the Dreams - My personal theory on those is that it's your brain's way of finding a replacement for the nicotene. Hey, anything's better than a cigarette, right? The only part about those dreams that i didn't like the last time I quit was when I didn't REALIZE I was dreaming. I'd think "Damn! What am I doing?! I was trying to quit, and here I am smoking!"

[john-pugh]

You will not cave this time

because you hate the addiction
HANG AT ALL COSTS!

[shereen]

you guys are the best!! 🙂 yep, i have the "tivo dreams" too...hehehee!

so, i go get my hair cut today and i tell my hairdresser i quit smoking yesterday. she asks how's it going? and i tell her so far, so good, but the 3rd day is the worst for me and usually when i cave. she says, "oh, so tomorrow you're gonna be a bear. guess we better stay away from you tomorrow!!"

d'oh!!!

i didn't say this, but i thought, "no, you knothead!! tomorrow's when i need you the most!!! you know, kindness! support! you can do it! atta girl!! here's a shoulder! shereen need a tissue??"

in hindsight, i guess i shoulda said just that....they don't know if you don't tell 'em.

anyway, so far, so good.... 🙂

[matt-antinoro]

Maybe I'm a masochist, but the FIRST people I told at work were the ones that give me the hardest time about smoking. One of my personality traits is that if you tell me something can't be done, I'll kill myself proving you wrong. Refusing to give the smart-asses the satisfaction of being right can be a motivator, and I'll need all the help I can get!

[john-pugh]

You have almost completed day 3, and what a good night's sleep you will have!

Congrats

JOHN

[polly2]

I had some smoking dreams as well -- and the same thing -- not a single cigarette lit -- go figure! You sound like I was the first day -- a perfect star for an ex commercial!! Keep that sense of humor going and you will do awesome!! Try using the statement, "Smoking is not an option," to battle any negative thoughts!! It works for me! We're all here for you!!