Just need to come and write some thoughts out. I know some of this is just from the surgery, but the last few days, I have been depressed. The stress of everything is just too much at times. My husband and I just finally argued everything out last night, said our sorrys, and kept moving forward. He started his new job today , so that will deffinately help. I love the guy to pieces, but being together 24/7 becomes hard after a month. I am very thankful that a I have him, he had been wonderful through my surgery, and the healing process. I've been talking to him more about my quit date, I am starting to think maybe he will quit as well. He's very supportive of it, he said he would think about it, so that's a start right? I have 6 days to go.. I've been trying to stay on track.. I have all these thoughts that fight back and forth in my head.. one wanting nothing more then to quit, the other with the attitude of, "if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die happy, cigarettes make me happy".. grrr! Very frustrating. They do not make me happy, even though part of my brain says they do.. I find myself just wishing there was a quick way to make this all go away. I'm angry that I developed heart disease.. 😞
