So I thought I was doing pretty good today. Went to the doctor, still crying ,but didn't smoke. Then I went to my moms to check on her and take her some fresh eggs. I took one look at her and said, " Mom, did something happen?". She said, " Yes, I think so". Well she had a partial stroke in the past three days. She was not even sure when, and she's also experiencing having problems with chocking and breathing. I wanted to just dial 911. She wouldn't let me. I stayed and helped her get in the shower and change her sheets. I got ahold of my brother who is supposed to be her caretaker......needless to say he has not been. Anyway, I was not prepared for this in my trigger list. I smoked!!! I feel like shit! I almost had 5 days, now I have zero. I plan on starting again with day one tomorrow. I am mentally exhausted. I wanted to come clean with all you guys right away cuz you've been so great. Here I go again. Denise
