Ok, this is day ten. I've done this before. I remember day 1,2,3, and 7 being bad 'uns. But this time it's been days 8, 9 and 10. I can taste the cigarette now. I do like 'em. I really do. But I guess I've got to concentrate on things I like better: life, for instance, a good one; being able to move easily without huffing and puffing; being able to move enough to drop some weight; summoning up the energy to do everyday housekeeping chores; and of course, time - time to do all the afore mentioned things, time for my children, time to do the chores, create the images, look after myself.
I guess the positives are that I am still keeping up my new "habits". In fact, our beach walk this morning, with the borrowed dog (not the one who barks), turned into a swim. Which is lovely on a day that is already sweltering at 7:30 am, but not so terrific in your clothes. Tomorrow I'll wear a swimsuit just in case. I don't mind swimming in my clothes, it's the walking home in them part that gets a little dicey. Dripping as I wave good morning to two blocks worth of neighbours.
Quite a sight i imagine. The hefty, prematurely wrinkled gal with the tweeny kids, hoisting herself down the block, bits of seaweed clinging to her needs-a-dye hair, greyish bra showcased by a sleeveless, clinging beige blouse, strange little scrinch-scrinch noises emerging from her dampened sandals. Thank goodness they think of me as an artist and an eccentric. Until two years ago when our family finally began to have a certain amount of expendable income, I was a loony. But with a comfortable middle-class income, i'm now merely eccentric. They're even beginning to talk to me. That is, until this morning.
Thanks for allowing me to my life in perspective in front of you. I feel better.
Wishing you all success in whatever form you see it,
I am
TJ
