emotional rant!

[lifepunctuation]

this emotional rollercoaster is so cyclical... i'm kind of back to being sad a little bit now, i just miss "my old friend the cancer stick". maybe it's just the newness of the QUIT wearing off and now my brain is like "well that was ok for a break, but now back to the cigarettes please". i know that i'll be ok, but it just sucks to keep going through these low points and hard times, i was kind of hoping that it would be mostly gone by now (day 9). I have also realized that not all ex's are good to talk to for support... some are negative and tell you "it's never going to go away... you will ALWAYS feel this way... you will always want to smoke for the rest of your LIFE!!!" (do they think this is helpful?). I think i'm just kind of sad feeling that my "JOY" is gone from life... isn't that soooo riduclous? i'm just taking one day at a time and allowing myself to experience whatever i feel, but not stay in that moment too long... i just tell my brain "think what you may, but you are not getting a cigarette... NO MATTER WHAT!!!", that helps a bit. i'm a big overwhelmed right now, i'll just keep plugging along... it's the whole 7 stages of grief. I guess this whole process has just been different than i expected it to be... i am STRONG... i am committed... i am a NON-SMOKER!

[hwc]

What you are feeling is perfectly normal, maybe even a little ahead of schedule. I called the second two weeks the "tiresome" phase where quitting just gets tiresome.

This is a dynamic healing process that continues for quite some time. At nine days, you aren't even completley through the first immediate phase of getting off the cigarettes.

BTW, that's just a bunch of crap that ex-smokers always feel the way you are feeling at nine days. I haven't had any desire to smoke for over a year now. I have an occasional thought of when I used to smoke, kind of like I have an occasional thought of a car I used to own. You haven't even begun to glimpse comfort yet. Heck, most people don't have their first full day without a thought of smoking until somewhere around two months. The fun part is still ahead! Just like a broken ankle doesn't heal in nine days, neither does a lifelong drug addiction.

Here. Read this if you don't believe me:

Tell a newbie how how many seconds a day you still want a cigarette

Hundreds of quitters. Hundreds of stories.

[hwc]

BTW, how often do smokers think about smoking? Twenty times a day? Thirty times a day? Forty times a day? That's pretty much from the moment they get out of bed into the morning to the time they go to bed at night. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. Nicotine addicition is a heavy ball n' chain drag through life.

[cindywilson]

hon, you always remember that you can never have another puff, but as far as thinking of them constantly, I do not. Now every once in a while the thought will float through my mind and it is gone poof just as quickly. The getting there feels like crap, but it is worth it. You know what does stay in my mind, that I never want to go through a quit again, that is it:)

[teresa15]

Quitting smoking is what you make it. I know that I will never pick up another cigarette again because I can no longer stand the smell of smoke on people who smoke, or those that live with people who smoke. I have been picking my mother in law up to go to the gym three days a week, she lives with my sister in law who is a smoker. I notice mom in law stinks of smoke. How terrible is that, the poor women, at 75, everyone at church probably thinks shes a chain smoker. Wow I used to smell that way.... How gross!

[lifepunctuation]

thanks so much for all of your support and encouraging words! the rule of three's must be true, b/c my day 9 has sucked (it's not a three, but it's divisible by 3?) thanks!!! i'll think i'll be hanging in for the long haul!