Quit day today. No quit. I just did not do the work. Eff it. Can't do it, don't bother...and so on. It seems that anytime I start to feel better...not drinking, getting out and social, not smoking..my brain takes notice and says, "Uh, I don't think so, babe."
I want to share with you that my adult life includes many institutions both long term and short. Back in the eighties, when I was diagnosed with a mental illness, they had no clue how to treat it.
We lived in halfway houses, assisted living; a subculture of sorts and smoking was a part of life and still is although I'm not in one of those places at the moment.
"Quit now!" doctors have told me. "Think of the kids growing up without you and your family"
I don't have a family per se. I am a gay woman alone at the moment, living in a basement with two birds. I work part time. I can't work more or I'll lose medical/ssd benefits.
What the ... do I have to lose?
And that, my friends, will sound to you like a pity party and a bunch of excuses if you haven't lived it.
STILL. As I've heard you say, I want to be a nonsmoker.
