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Share your quitting journey

dealing day by day

janicesullenger
4 17 250

i quit 7 years ago.  it was cold turkey.  i didn't feel good.  went to the hospital, i had dvt's, bi'lateral embolisms, blood clot went thur my heart and dr said i should had been brought to the morgue instead of the hospital.  that's the long story short.  was in ICU almost 2 weeks.  never smoked again.  fast forward 7 years.  my life is going good except i can't get my husband to quit.  this is our fight all the time.  he's not allowed to smoke in the house.  or around me or in the vehicles.  Nov 12, 2018, he has a stroke, the hospital kept him in the observation unit and release him the next day.  on the 16th he fell in the house, i got him up and set him on the bench and he fell off of it and i call the paramedics, a blood clot had exploded in his brain and he stoked on both sides.  main cause is by smoking.  we spent 3 weeks in Vanderbilt.  my husband will never be the same.  my days will never be the same.  he can dress, talk, shower , and even cook easy things.  but i have to make sure the oven/stove is off.  but he has no short term memory and he may never get it.  i'm so thankful he is alive.  but at the same time, i sure miss the husband i had.  smoking did so much damage.  so if you are on the fence about quitting, just do it.  QUIT, not worth the damage it can cause.  i watch the depression hit my husband because he can't figure out what is going on some days and then he wants to go back to work and he can't.   so i'm learning to deal day by day.

17 Comments
indingrl
Member

CONGRATS JANICE ON 7 YEARS  NICOTINE FREE AND LIVING YOUR OWN PERSONSL NON SMOKER LIFE STYLE - so sorry your long suffering - thank you so much for sharing your smoking consequences and your husbands smoking consequences- may God bless you and your family in MY Lord Jesus name amen please take what HELPS and let go of the rest- thank you.  

elvan
Member

Congratulations on your seven years, I am so sorry for the damage your husband has suffered.  I am keeping you in my prayers, I hope that he can improve as time goes on.  You are NOT alone, please come here and vent if you need to and know that we will do whatever we can to support you.

Ellen

anaussiemom
Member

So deeply sorry.  it is so hard to grieve the living... ❤️

Blessings of prayers of support sent your way

Hugs KIm

YoungAtHeart
Member

Thank you so for sharing your cautionary tale.  i hope it reaches those who need to hear it!  I had two blocked arteries caused by smoking - but luckily mine were caught in time........

I am so sorry you are missing your husband - another notch in the belt of Big Tobacco!  Shame.

Nancy

Sootie
Member

Thank you for being so unselfish and having the courage to share your story so that others might benefit....even in your sadness you offer a gift to others. May God bless you.

Barbscloud
Member

I'm am so sorry to hear that.  I know how hard it is to lose the what you had with your husband.  My younger brother had a stroke in his late 50's which they attributed to smoking.  Fortunately, the damage wasn't as severe. I do thing that helped motivate me to quit.  Congratulations on keeping your quit.

Barb

sweetplt
Member

God bless you both ... as a brain aneurysm survivor, please know the brain takes a long time to heal and I am not saying hub will ever be the same, but more improvement can happen even in a year... congratulations on your quit ... please know I just sent a prayer out to you both... ~ Colleen

virgomama
Member

janicesullenger‌ it took a lot of courage and dedication to share this story.  I'm so glad you did. And I'm so sorry you even had to go through this experience.  I hope this makes it all the way to big tobacco's CEO.  May it reach the ears of those who are still in denial or struggling to quit.   My partner was resistant to quit as well.  Until it got so hard for him to breathe he had no choice.  We go to the pulminologist next month to see what an be done.  My hope is that it is not too late.  

My heart and prayers go out to you. Thanks for taking a tough situation and turning it into a lesson for those who wish to hear it.  

Namaste,

Cindy

Giulia
Member

And he's still smoking?  Dear Lord.  This addiction is so awful.  I feel for you.  And for him.  May he come to finally see the light and let them go.  And may those who read this gain strength in their resolve.  And strength to you also.

elvan
Member

Janice,

I know it will be of little consolation but I think you are absolutely amazing.  Caring for someone who is no longer really there is crushing, it is the hardest thing to imagine, let alone to go through.  No one knows how they will react until it is just THERE.  I am so incredibly sorry that you are carrying all of this pain.

Ellen

janicesullenger

no, with his short term memory loss, i lied to him for the first time in our marriage.  i have him believing he had quit before his stroke.  they sent me home with patches, lozenges, and gum.  we still have them and never used them. about 2 months after his stroke he realized i lied and he said he wanted one.  i flat told him it was that or me.  i didn't work this hard to keep him alive for him to have another cigarette to kill him.  he tells everyone now that if he has a cigarette, if it doesn't kill him, i'd probably would.  that's the one thing he remembers.  i remind him daily.  i through away everything including his lighters.  the only lighters we have are the ones i use in my sewing room for candles and for fraying material and even then, he doesn't see them  

janicesullenger

to everyone who commented.  thank you from the bottom of my heart.  i don't always get to comment back.  my days usually aren't my days.   one thing i didn't mention was not quite 3 weeks ago i had skin cancer surgery on my face.  and was told to rest for the first week.  ok, i don't know what rest is.  in the meantime, i caught the flu.  and with that surgery, you can't lay down, you have to recline and my husband has panic attacks if i rest for some reason.  so with the flu and trying my best not to get too close to him and clean non stop so he doesn't catch it.  home health is coming out tomorrow.  mine flu is gone but my cough is horrible in deep in my chest.  and bless his heart he wants out of the house.  we are flooded here.  trying to explain, my car can't make it thru some of these roads due to water.  he knows this but he doesn't get it.  he has no hobbies.  my son bought him a 70" tv, he goes crazy watching it all day.  he doesn't like puzzles.  i don't know how to entertain him.  seems he gets worse if i doze off.

CommunityAdmin
Community Manager
Community Manager

janicesullenger

Hope you can get some rest and maybe your son can entertain him? Positive thoughts for your healing!

Mark
EX Community Manager

elvan
Member

Seriously, Janice, I am so in awe of what you do.  I know what it is like to deal with someone with dementia and my heart goes out to you, please stay close to the site and let us at least allow you to vent.  If you have Home Health coming, is there a chance that you can get a little rest while they are there?  

Comforting hugs,

Ellen

Giulia
Member

It's good to know that he's not smoking at least.  Strength to you, and love.  And may you feel better soon.

Mike.n.Atlanta

Congratulations on your 7 smoke free years Janice! That's awesome news.

Remember to take care of yourself too.Wishing you & your husband the best.

M n @ Signature 002-5.JPG

janicesullenger

at the moment no.  he still panics when i'm not in the room with him.  although, today, considering the circumstances, i had his daughter here.  she had to evacuate her home due to the dam having to let some water out.  i'm in TN and we are under massive flooding.  so her and the dog came to stay with us.  i was able to get some rest because he had her.  i;m so high up that if it floods here, then everyone is in serious trouble.  she will be here all day tomorrow also and i'll be able to rest tomorrow too.  so out of the floods i was able to rest.  she got to see how he asks the same thing over and over and repeats the same action and how i have to jump up in case he hurts himself not realizing what he's doing.  too bad she works full time