Ok, well I fell off the wagon - a few times - but I haven't gone off the track- yet. My hubby fell off the wagon and bought smokes, so whenever he is home, I know they are there and I have had a few. ARGHHHH>>>> /the only thing I can say for myself is that I have NOT gone out and bought a pack, and when I have cheated, it has usually been ONE a day. I feel like I am really lucky I am on the chantix because I can tell the nicotine does nothing for me, they taste terrible, and I am ok with not having anymore... however, the mental part of still having one here and there has settled my nerves.. DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO START MY QUIT DATE COUNTER ALL OVER AGAIN? I don't feel like I am starting over, I feel like I am just off to a slow start. I went 6 days without and then had one, then didn't etc.... I have had a total of 9 cigs in 14 days.... <YIKES> I feel bad about that, but in a way, I feel good because I haven't broken down completely, I could have had a lot more, and I could have given up.
but, here is what i struggle with now..my mental battle is this= if my hubby is not going to totally quit, I dont know how much longer i can torture myself. He says he is trying and I know he is, but he keeps buying more. He is considerate enough to not smoke around me, but it doesn't matter, I KNOW they are there and I have to FIGHT it. I feel like chantix is very expensive and I know it is working but i can't keep on just smoking one here or there. I feel like saying, OK< well, I will just stop taking chantix and give up until he is totally quit. At least I know I will be able to do it!! Does this sound crazy? I dont know what to do. I can NOT be completely smoke free until I know the temptation is gone... I am just NOT that strong.
