day # 4, I've fallen off the wagon - can I please jump back on... I don't want to start ov

[luke]

My mornings are always easy, it's the afternoon & evenings that kill me.

Had an arguement with a family member this afternoon, and it put me in one of those moments where I wanted to kick and scream... kick and scream I did... then I got my blood pressure up and got the BP headache... I'm not a very emotional guy but was in tears this afternoon. I'm sure some of you have high BP issues like me, I felt that it would be worth a smoke than to increase my BP, I know that sounds ridiculous, but it was my reasoning. I stopped and bought a pack of Marlboro Reds at my local gas station... the price was $5.53 then a $1.18 discount that says (TX) WV and another $0.15 discount saying (TX) WV nsusp APR...bringing my purchase to $4.20....but I forgot to buy a lighter, so stopped at another store to make that purchase at $1.39 I feel like such a failure... and I see what kind of money I've been wasting..... to top it all off - the smoke wasn't that great... but it felt reassuring, so part of me did enjoy it. I've only smoked one, and I don't intend to smoke any the rest of the day - but I make no promises...

So where am I now? back at day #1 or is this still day 4?

PLEASE HELP!

[Sandra3]

IMHO!!!!!! If you only smoked one, ONLY ONE, then soak the rest down with water and go along with your quit. If you have even sniffed at # 2 you need to start over.

[luke]

only 1...

[olivia]

I should say you are back to day 1 my dear luke!!!! I know that once you take a puff of a smoke, you are going to go through I would assume milder withdrawal for 72 hours? Since it was only one cig, I really can't be certain..maybe someone else can help? I know how you feel though with emotional stress .....me and hubby got into a huge fight this morning before going to that birthday party....I really wanted to light up.....but I knew that won't help anything. I know my husband is also trying to sabotage my quit by still smoking and lying about it...he also just smoked a cig in OUR bathroom (I went for a run and when I came back, can smell it big time!) But Luke, start again with your quit. Now you know what that trigger is and how to NOT handle it next time!

[jen25]

I'm sorry to tell you this, my friend, but you are all the way back at the starting line. Once you put that nicotine back in your body, it starts all over again.... the entire process. I know that sucks, am no, I'm not 100% certain about this, but I'm fairly sure that is the way the cookie crumbles. On the positive side... DON'T GIVE UP!!!! You can rock this quit like the rest of us have been. It IS hard, and it DOES suck a**, but you just have to figure out how to take back the control that the nico-demon has over you. Lemme know if there's anything I can do to help, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you ( = I know you can do this.

[Sandra3]

Do you know your trigger now Luke? Right now, write down how terrible you feel about smoking that cigarette, how bad it tasted and all of the other negative things you can. Then when you have a moment like today that triggered you, pull that out and READ!!! Not another Puff because the cigarette did nothing to make your situation better.

[hwc]

Nicotine raises your blood pressure. It's probably the most dangerous health risk of smoking: heart attack and stroke.

"So where am I now? "

Right now, you are back to smoking 7500 cigarettes this year, and the year after, and the year after that, and so on and so forth. It's called nicotine addiction and there is only one way out of the trap. You might as well have slammed your hand in the car door for as much suffering as you are inflicting on yourself. You just went through three days of nicotine withdrawal, you were over the hump, and -- just like that -- you reignited your full addiction. Smoking every fourth day is how you put yourself in permanent state of misery from nicotine withdrawal.

Did you watch Joel's videos last night? I'm not just battin' my gums about how crucial it is to invest time in education about your addiction during the early days. Thats how you get through whatever crisis your junkie thoughts might try to manufacture to get you to get another dose of nicotine.

[carlie]

Thank you hwc !!! Luke - I had problems with my blood pressure for YEARS !!! On this medicine, and that one - - this test and that one !!! Since I quit smoking 9 months ago, my blood pressure is 100% fine !!!As a matter of fact, I quit July 1st...and at my doctor's appointment in August...my blood pressure was fine !! NO MORE MEDS !!! Just BREATHING !!!!
Go with what hwc is telling you - he hasn't steered anyone wrong yet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[diane3]

difinately soak those butts and don't smoke anymore. the bp issue...you really can't be serious SMOKING DOES NOT DECREASE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE!!!! You had a weak moment everyone does...move on, start fresh right now. You can do it

[cindywilson]

throw the pack away now Luke! Keep going with your quit! I know you probably feel awful, I did when I almost slipped,but get back on the horse and keep going! No use yelling at your self now, I'm sure you already did, just be aware that your body will feel like day one again! I have high blood pressure too, as most people who smoke do, hope you realize that was a junkie lie you were telling yourself. It doesn't help your pressure it gives you high pressure to start with....hang in there and decide for yourself how important this is to you, when it is important to you, you will fight and you will win...

[carole_]

Mentally we have learned to calm ourselves with the act of smoking, like a baby uses a binky/pacifier to calm themselves. Meanwhile, the chemicals in that cigarette are raging a war internally, doing just the opposite, raising BP, etc., just as everyone as pointed out, unfortunately. It's kind of like looking "cool & calm" on the outside while all the while we just want rip someone's head off standing right in front of us. HA. Yea, we fooled ourselves for a lot of years thinking nicotine was doing something for us mentally or physically. Such is the mind of addict.

www.whyquit.com, can't say enough about education, just like hwc.

You'll know when enough is enough and hit that wall. We all do. I fell on my face several times in past quits thinking I knew what to expect and how to navigate it. I was wrong. I needed more support than I thought I did, for one thing. I needed to educate myself more too. Next time, 'write before you light.' As crazy as it sounds, just a simple mental diversion is all that is usually needed to stop the junkie from driving all over town to get his drug and paraphanalia for the next fix.

Yep, eventually, I stopped the madness and put on my 'big girl pants' and got 'r done. No is exempt from quitting, absolutely no one. Keep going. You'll get there.

[jan__tx]

ok Luke - I told you yesterday you are my son's age so I will talk to you like I would my son!!! What the hell were you thinking!!????? Do u realise that your smoking will only raise your blood pressure to uncontrollable heights especially at an older age and believe you me it doesn't take long to be my age! I thought when I married at 23 that I could do anything I wanted! Smarter than anyone...but now at 54 I wish I had listened to those that told me throughout the years to quit..I wouldn't be using an inhaler! using alburterol breathing treatments and not being able to breath at any given moment...I just pray that this will get better with my quit!!! So take my advise now DO NOT PUT ANOTHER DAMN CIGARETTE IN YOUR MOUTH AND LIGHT IT!!! ok NOW I a calmer after chewing your butt out but still upset w/you that you smoked! Start the counter over and don't look back:)

[marie10]

Good News!!! Everyday can be a fresh start. Dont get too hung up on the day number, I don't want you to sabbotage the progress you DID make. You can be smoke free!!!! Youve done it already, keep it going.

[Dana8]

Luke, I fell off the wagon the other day too. My junke self actually went to my neighbor, crying and shaking, begging for a smoke. Pathetic, but now I know what I'm up against and you do too. Use it as a learning experience, listen to the veterans, and read all the discussions on this site. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that wagon. We're all in this together!

[edith2]

You're back at day one. Cudos to you for getting back so soon. Took me 30 years to quit again after my last relapse.

[cris2]

Hey! Your gonna be just fine! Know your not alone. I did the same thing. But who can I tell on myself but my friends here? Well get back on track together. ~Cris