crazy

[melissa2]

Thank you everyone for checking on me, it is bike season, and we are really busy. I WAS doing really good until a couple weeks ago. No ones fault but my own, and no one to blame but me being a crazy fool and too weak to not give into temptation. Why am I not strong enough! I just keep beating myself up! I want to quit and stay quit! I feel like crap and can't workout.
I wish I had somebody here right next to me to hold my hand, and smack it when I even think about putting a smoke between those fingers. ok, so I am obviously not doing something right! not sure if it is willpower, you would think with having 3 people in my family with cancer, 1 friend recently dieing...you would think I would get...well I do get it, smoking kills...but where the hell is my willpower!
ok, I am done venting, got to go reset my damn clock!!!

[sandi8]

Well, well well, glad you are back, you should of come here before. Missed ya.

[nicole]

i need the somebody to motivate me to help lose weight lol.

[Sandra3]

(((Melissa)) come on girl~ you can do this this time!!! Let me know what I can do to help you!!!

[judyportergardner]

Hey Mel. it happened to me too. I feel just like you, I wish we could slap each other!! I think if I keep comming to this site though and reading what everyone else is going through, well, it makes me feel stronger. I do know that I am TIRED of having this conversation with myself.

[melissa2]

I am too tired of this conversation with myself! I know I have to stop. I have to make a point of coming to this site everyday or I will fall back into my pattern again. I am going to do this!

[david-hibling]

Just it !!!!!!!!!! you cannot DO THIS BY WILLPOWER ALONE if you do itsjust one huge battle all the time - educate yourself its an addiction and that you need to arm yourself to have things up your sleeve when you feel you are gonna relapse - hell all today I have fought craves galore but not given in - if I was relying on will power alone rather than a combination of that and crave safeguards I would be puffing away -

[david-hibling]

Have a look at the Quitsmoking naturally site - quitsmokingonline.com for a 10 day programme to stop or reinforce your quit

[melissa2]

so what if you have all the information, and keep reading, thinking there is something you are missing and have tried everything, and still give into the crave, I say that must be my willpower, or lack their of willpower...I am just so frustrated with myself, because most of me wants to quit, I know what it is doing to me, but there is that stupid little part, and it must be the addiction, telling me to go ahead and smoke a cig! I have to be stronger than the addiction itself, and that takes willpower...thanks for letting me vent again, I just have to convince myself that I AM stronger than this addiction to this drug!!!

[david-hibling]

melissa I do not believe ANYONE is "stronger" than the addiction - if they were they would not get addicted - what we can be is WISER than the addiction - stop beating yourself up - its HARD and you are doing so good wanting to be a non smoker and trying by reaching out - deep breaths repeat to yourself you are a non smoker every minute if need be for a while - you WILL get there I know it!

[melissa2]

thanks David, I am going to do this! and you are right, I have to be smarter than this stupid addiction, and I am not an idiot! I can and will do this, thank you for your support.

[sandi8]

Melissa , you can do this, you should of seen some of my blogs here, at home i had such a tantrum like a two yr old saying i want a cig you cant stop me , well the kids laughed at me told me to go on here and rant and get help but no smokin. they even took my car keys , way to far to walk just remember N>O>P>E we are here for ya

[kellie_a]

I'm sure you've heard this before, but if I can do it, you can darn sure do it!!
Keep trying. Keep trying until you are sick of trying and then keep trying some more. Do NOT give up, Melissa. For nobody or anything.