Good Monday Morning. Happy to be able to say, Hello, I am still smokefree. I am hopeful that eventually being a nonsmoker will just be an integral part of my identity so that I will completely know "I don't do that anymore." I know this time will come if I hang in there. Right now, so early in the process of leaving behind my crutch of 38 years, I sometimes just don't know what to do with Raissa. A friend tells me, We (addicts) are all growing up in public. That is embarrassing, painful and funny to me. But the question, Is what I am doing helping or harming me? is in my mind today. I am thinking this morning that I want Freedom and I will deal with all of my discomfort, no matter how painful, to be free of nicotine. That takes planning for me and I have never been a very good planner, mostly flying by the seat of my pants through life. But as a smoker I planned, didn't I?--"Where's the smoking area? Do I have enough smokes to get through the night? If I cut back on this, I can afford a pack." So now, any ability I had to plan to feed my addiction, I will use to plan my freedom.
Thank you all. This is really rough. Hope each of us has a chilled Monday, if that's what is good for us.
