Yesterday was awful as far as The Quit was concerned. The only good thing I can say is I didn't give in to the urge to smoke.
I hate to rain on anybody's parade, but then, nobody said this was going to be a cakewalk. It started with the fact that Thursday was a school day. All my friends know this, and they rarely ask me for favors on that day ( I have a car, they don't). Okay...so my first friend said he couldn't get an appointment on any other day, and it was in the morning (my classes are in the afternoon). Could I drop him off at the doctor's office? Sure, no problem.
Then, friend #2 has surgery on Wednesday, and needed someone to pick her up on Thursday. She says she was unaware of this need, although to me, anyone with half a brain would know that hospitals demand that you don't drive after surgery. So...okay, she springs this on me Thursday morning. No one else is available. So, I take friend #1 over to his doctor, and tell him to call me to pick him up. If it gets too late, I tell him, I will not be able to pick him up. When I get home, friend #2 calls and tells me her story. So...Then just as I'm about to go out the door to go to the hospital to pick up friend #2, friend #1's doctor calls and says he's waiting downstairs for me to pick him up! I do that (even though that wasn't part of the deal, by going downstirs, he basically traps me into picking him up), then drive across town to the hospital to pick up friend #2. Then I find out that she has driven herself to the hospital and needs someone to drive her car home for her. One of her friends will bring me back to the hospital to pick up my car. "Can't she do this?" I ask. No, my friend's friend can't drive stick. So...after a 45 minute wait at the hospital for her to be released, and another 45 minute wait for her friend to drive over to friend #2's house to take me back to the hospital to get my car...and a whole bunch of other little delays...I miss my first class. All day long I said I needed to get to class on time, and all day long everyone assured me there would be plenty of time, and all day long, I was told what a wonderful friend I was. But ALL DAY LONG, nobody knew what they were DOING!!!
Yes, yes, yes...I could have said "NO" anywhere along the way there, and I should have. But, boy, after I made it by minutes to my second class and then got out 45 minutes later, I WANTED A CIGARETTE. Really BAD!!! It was all I could do to not stop and pick up a pack and just say "to hell with it." I'm writing this now, just to get it out of my system, and move on. And those of you who are addicted to "happy talk" about quitting, I'm sorry. But that wasn't how it was for me yesterday. If I'd been on my 5th day instead of my 33rd, I would have smoked. Because the world is full of IDIOTS, and when I smoke, I'm smoking AT them. I want them to know that THEY are the reason I smoke. Who wouldn't? Understand?
<<sigh>> Okay...okay...I'm all right now. I just can't believe that so many things can go wrong in so short a space of time. When I missed my first class (I had already missed my classes because of my dental appointment earlier in the week), I just kept saying, "I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!" People, friends or not, will promise you the moon, but when it comes to the results, they couldn't really care less, no matter how many times they thank you for "being such a good friend." Whatever can go wrong WILL go wrong, and I should know that by now.
Sorry this is such a drag, but at least I didn't smoke, despite the best efforts of the universe and my "friends."
Still...KEEP THE QUIT!!
~Michael
