Im off from work today...weather crummy...spent the day craving a cigarette...39 days smoke free and the cravings were BAD...proud i didnt smoke.....spent the other part of the day stressing my lung nodules that got me to quit...i must have googled the same stuff 1000000000 times and read the same articles over and over...some good...some bad....but of course knowing me, focusing on all the negative...tomorrow is my birthday....54....and terrified because of these nodules it will be my last one...bad mood all day...boyfriend thinks its all because of my cravings but it is more from my fear...i dont want to talk oitloud because dont want my q5 year old daughter think i am worrying...it will make her worry and get upset, so i keep it inside and it makes me want to cry....im just sad, mad, and terrified all at once...want to pull my covers over my head and just stay there...ughbhhh...MAY GOD BLESS ME....
