Thank you all for the kind comments on my first blog on this site, "They say i'm an Ex...."
As no one here knows, but soon will, i relate very well to music and correspond much of my lifes experiences to different groups and songs. How does all this relate to smoking you ask? Well, i shall answer in a round about way and very nearly make my point known.
I just read the 'about me' by puffthemagicdragon (yeh, i can relate a song or two to that screen name!!) He wrote "As an introverted, over-achiever, cigarettes became my constant companion, my support group, and my reward system.". I can really relate to this. I too started smoking at a young age, but smoking didn't become a part of my life or define who i was until i was 18 or 19. You see, i joined the US Army and left home on my 18th b-day. Boot camp, AIT, and a couple deployments later i was truly a smoker. I fit right in with my peer group. The only difference between my group and other groups was they smoked menthols and we didn't. Smoking was cheap and easy to be had. At a mere .80 cents a pack anyone could afford it, even a young enlisted kid.
Smoking, rather quitting smoking is in my mind, ultimately about change.This is a different kind of change though, it's not like changing your fatigues or changing your eating habits (although this is tough) or changing jobs. It's about changing an addiction. something that i always thought i understood, but never did until spending 7 long freaking days on a big freaking boat with friends who you think don't know you smoke (but probably do, and it turns out they did cuz your wife told them years ago, sheez!) Yes, as i was running around the biggest boat i've ever been on with 3,000 other people it became quite clear to me what an addition is. Me & 3,000 other people was 'very' difficult as i get really anxious around more than 10 or so people i dont know. (complements of my army life i guess).
I was faced with a choice like no other. I had already set my quit day and had even smoked what i thought was my last one a couple days ago, but after a couple days at sea with all those people and associated stress, i was faced with the choice to decide whether to really give up my old friend, support group, and constant companion. That which had become so much a part of my character....
I thought of the Scorpions song
Wind of Change. It was written in the early 90' while i was in the service and the berlin wall had crumbled down around the Soviet Union government. These weren't the only changes in the 80's & 90's, but these were profound to me in those days. These are the days that i really relate my smoking life to. It's easy to understand why and how the Berlin wall fell and all the good thet came of it. It was a no brainer to take it down. Why then did i smoke i asked myself numerous times. What possible good could come of it? I could throw out a few false reasons like stress management, satisfaction, anger management, blah blah. It's all crap. The reason pure and simple is it's an addiction. Something out of ones control, or very nearly so.
I also learned on that boat that addictions can be met. I learned that it's important to have a support group in order to be successful at succeding at beating the addiction. So for the next several days my support group was the occasional text message (from becomeanex) when we were in port, my wife, food, beer, and more food. My real support group started when i got off that damn boat and started calling my friends and family and mentioned i hadn't been smoking. This program, and reading contributed so much to my success so far. There's also the pride of going one more day without.
Quitting smoking truly is a positive and profound moment in ones life. It is a Wind of Change for the good
I hope i can return the support and enthusiasm to everyone here who has done so much for me.
