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Share your quitting journey

Why this place works!

pir8fan
Member
0 38 241

As I talk with people I meet, this site often come up in the conversation! From smokers, people who are new to quitting, or those who have never smoked the questions I get are always "Whys?".

#1. Why does this site make a difference?

#2. Why do people who have tried before and failed, find success there?

#3. Why do you say you owe your success in this quit to a website?

#4. Why, now that you have been quit so long, do you continue to spend your time there?

In the next few minutes I am going to try to answer those questions. Then I am going to turn the floor over to you, my fellow EXers, and ask you help make this something that the new people here will understand!

#1. This site makes a difference because there are people here, from all walks of life, that understand what you are going through as a new quitter, as a mid-range quitter, and as a long term quitter! There are people here who, if you will, have "been there and done that". There are "First Responders" to introduce you to the site! There are "Professors" who have a vast storehouse of knowledge thast they will share with you! There are the "Cheerleaders who will always be here with encouragement when things get rocky! There are the "Dispenser of Tough Love" who will tell you what you need to hear, even when you really don't want to hear it! There are the "Motivators" who lead by EXample and always have a way of making you better than you think you can be! There are the "Entertainers" who can make you laugh when you want to cry. And there are "The Fighters" here who fighting everyday to stay alive while they wait for new lungs, or a miracle to save them! They selflessly share their agony, and misery, in an effort to save others from the fate that has befallen them! Why does this site make a difference? It is the people you find here!

#2. The answer to this one is pretty simple! On-going support! Many of us have support in the early days of our quits. It comes from family and friends! However many of them are not smokers, and never have been! They think if you quit for a week., or two weeks, or a month, that you done, and it is over! This is a horrible addiction and it requires on-going support! The people here understand that, and they are always here for you! Why do people finally find success here? It is because of the people they find here!

#3. The reason that I say I owe my quit success to this site because of a phenomenon I discovered here! I have termed it "Collateral Kindness" Helping yourself by helping others! What a way to quit! What a way to live! The way that you help people get to the top of a mountain is to go with them! When they get there, you are there too! The day that I came to understand that, was the day that I knew, without a doubt, I would never put another cigatette in my mouth! Why do I owe my quit to this site? It is because of the people who showed me "Collateral Kindness"!

#4. The reason that I stay here is because I have learned something that I feel a need to share! The greatest yearning of all animals is the desire to be Free! Some years ago a very intelligent chimp was taught sign language. The first complete sentence he signed from his cage was "Let me out"! The people of this site and the "Collateral Kindness" that I have found here, have have shown me the path to FREEDOM! Now that I am indeed FREE, I want to share that path with those who come behind me! I feel an obligation to those who are still shackled, and live as slaves to their addiction! Look to us my friends! We will hold open the doors to your cages! And we will "Let you out"! Live FREE!! And live well!                      Tommy

38 Comments
craftylady
Member

I couldn't have said it so well!!  Thank you!!  And thanks to ALL the "people" present and future that make this place more than just another "WEBSITE".

Have a GREAT SMOKE FREE DAY!!

Ex_Nancy
Member

Thank you so much Tommy...you were one of the first here to help me and I'll always be thankful for you and all of the others here that make this site my home away from home...xoxo

laura-m
Member

Thank you Tommy!  You are always here and very helpful.  This site has released me from nicotine addiction due to the inspiration of the many who are willing to be honest and real about this path to freedom.  Again, thanks!

la2012
Member

Hey Everyone!!  And Thank you, Tommy for writing this excellent blog!  I love how you described all of the wonderful X-ers - such a great group of dedicated people, willing to share their experiences with everyone, any time of the day or night!!!  I enjoy the friendship and learn something new each and every day.  Quitting smoking has become such an enjoyable experience because of all of you!!  And giving back- collateral kindness is the "icing on the cake"!  🙂

meagain3
Member

Hi Tommy!  Thanks and well said for sure.  It gives me a goal...someone to answer to other than myself.  that is why this works for me!

babs13
Member

All you said is true, however, in my humble opinion:  This site is God inspired.  

The people on here are doing God's work. 

I did not find this site "accidently".  

How many times do people here, get referred to as "angels".

Do you believe in coincidence?  Or in a higher power?  Has anyone experienced miracles?   

Julia_Amy
Member

beautiful Tommy!

Yaya2.6.10
Member

Great blog, Tommy!  The ads for the various nic replacements, Chantix etc. all have in the fine print something like along with support.  Wish more folks would shout from the rooftops about us, but then maybe the secret would be out that we don't really need the aids.  

MarcieWhosoever

thanks Tommy 🙂

and like Babs said, I have always felt that I found this site not by accident,  that I found it for more than JUST to quit smoking. But whether you believe in God, a higher power, or just good vibes, doesnt matter, what matters here is the help we GIVE AND RECIEVE. I dont know that I would have ever realized I had it in ME to quit without the people of this site!

FOR TRUE!!!!!!!!

Marcie~ 360 days into forever and feelin damn good!

Dakota_Posse
Member

You are SO right Tommy!  This Site is a wonderful mixture of people who quietly stop by and wish you a nice day and those who leave a funny picture that makes you laugh or those who stay in the shadows and lurk.....there's even a crazy guy on this Site that stops by women's boards and leaves kisses....hmmmm....wonder who that could be????LOL!

We all contribute and we stay here to help because we can all remember the first day of our quit when we depended on this Site and the people who so selflishly gave their support!!!

BIG THANK YOU TO THE BECOME AN EXsite!!!!!!

Cindy

Strudel
Member

Oh Tommy - you are quite the "wise guy"!! Fabulous blog! 

Bonnie11.3.2009

Gratitude comes to mind as I read your blog.  First it was gratitude to be smoke-free for 24 hours, then gratitude to continue to make a choice everyday to be smoke-free!

Now, it's gratitude to have had time to heal and time to pass on to others what we so desperately sought.

You've made a difference Tommy!

blooming-ivy
Member

just what I needed to read tonight. Thanks, Tommy

Blooming Ivy

gypsy6
Member

Thank God For you Tommy and the people on this Site.  It makes is possible for Mircles to  Continue to Happen!!!   TOGETHER WE CAN!

maggie_8-1-2010

I think it's all been said. Your words ring so true Tommy. I KNOW that this site made all the difference between me attempting to quit again and what actually happened: My Forever quit! I am now and I will always be forever grateful.

ShawnP
Member
Thank you Tommy! If it wasn't for you pressing me, I wouldn't be here today. 2 weeks 😉 and going strong!!!
sue26
Member

I just hope I can do so good...I have tried so many times ..and sometimes i think I am old why bother..but I have grandkids and I do so want to see some of them gradaute..love to watch the ballgames....I know that God has kept me going...I have set my quit date for april 6 2012...I am in bad health...but I know the cigs is the cause of my problems...I would apprentice any help I can get..Thank you...Sue..I live I indiana,,,

Patty70
Member

Wonderful blog, Tommy.     

lea11
Member

Thank you, Tommy! Great blog!!

kmoore3700
Member

thank you for being their for me it helps me to read this page and I know that i'm not alone. my quit date is may 30 hope I can do this.

kmoore3700
Member

thank you for being their for me it helps me to read this page and I know that i'm not alone. my quit date is may 30 hope I can do this.

hattie
Member

You bet this site works; and you stated many/most of the reasons why. The people around us don't want to hear us talk about quitting... what we're going through, etc. If they've never smoked they have no idea what we're talking about and frankly, don't want to listen to the blow by blow details.

Here, we can 'dump' when we need to, or get cheered up when we're feeling a little lost, or help someone else through a tough moment or day. All these things help us to quit and stay quit.

I can't count the times when I wanted a smoke so badly I thought I go nuts... then I came to the site and wandered around a bit and the feeling passed.

There is no help anywhere like coming here to EX. It's 24/7 support!

Oh... did I mention it's free!?!

jack14
Member

Great Blog! I found this to be very inspiring.

kitty_kal
Member
This is an amazing blog post. Gives me hope and reaffirms my quit.
lconnelly
Member

You said it, Tommy! I doubt anyone could have put it more eloquently!

Your words are inspirational and reaffirm the hope I have for a cigarette free future!

lpmartin
Member

So this is my very first day using this site. I'm still in the "track your cigarette's" stage, but wanting to quit very VERY soon. This site seems like a great place for me to try quitting for real. Thanks for the encouragement, and I'll keep you posted.

 

Lorin

FLORIDALJT
Member
Great blog tommy! Thanks, I'm glad I saw it. It's so. True & accurate! Hey, I used to live in Olde Naples.....
freedomfromthis

Hello, 

  Really great to read! Thank you, Emily

tennie2
Member

Thank you

gayvenda
Member

OMG!  That was a fantastic  blog, Tommy, I had a pretty good smokers cough too.  Now, I can't wait to read the rest you have written.  I'm smoothing out today and withdrawal is much less intense.  Very manageable.  I'm soon to take a nap and cancel an appt with my therapist this afternoon.  Just don't feel like going out today.  I took a smidgeon of a klonopin and it seemed to temporarily help. I have not taken a klonopin in a couple of  years.  My doctors  have been pulling me off tons of medications which I don't appear to need anymore..  I associate this wit my 5 years of Kriya Yoga.  It is wonderful stuff!  Have a great day!

gayvenda
Member

That was a wonderful blog, Tommy.  And I believe you were on target about people helping people.  We have to give it away to keep it.  I have received such an unconditional love while using EX.  It's  time for me to hit the sack tonightl  Will talk to u tomorrow!

gayvenda
Member

That was a wonderful explanation of The Language of the Heart.  And as we pass on our experience, strength and hope with one anothe it just grows and grows.  In reaching back to save another one, one is reaching out in love.  It works!  You have been a Godsend to me Tommy and I appreciate you very much.  I love reading your blogs!  Have a good evening1

newlife5
Member

you must be one of the professors...

pat110
Member

I need all the help I can get.

Just how do this work?

msplantladi
Member

Morning Everyone, I am just learning my way around the site, everytime I log out I seem to lose my place, so I guess I am a wondering quitter.

ajalder20t
Member

Perfect example of hitting the nail on the head. The people and the combination of the kinds of people on this site, and their willingness to particpate in others success are what makes this site, this community, this extended family of ours WORK.

Perfectly put.

denise91
Member

HI i am denise in have been wanting to quit for  a long time i am 59 and have been smoking since i was 14,this my second attempt to quit to day wasmy quit date but i blew it iwill make another try soon.i am looking forward to  all of your support.i have just recently learned about this web site via email and god thanks again from alabama.

bulldog316
Member

 I followed your link to this blog.  I found it motivational!  I like the term collateral kindness.  I like many ohters fulfill a role or job that is otherwise thankless.  It becomes old hat to take many of the things people do and their acts of kindness for granted.  I found getting on the blog and thanking people was not  just a way of saying thank you to all those that have left me kind words and support but for others to realize that the comments we leave on others blogs serve a purpose.  They are a beacon of light when we are in darkness and going through the pains of withdrawl.

I find it overwhelmingly encouraging that I see so many people on here that have over 500 days behind them.  It tells me that it can be done.  It also reminds me that, much like sobriety, being smoke-free is a 24 hour a day process and there are no days off.  Like many recovered alcoholics, ex-smokers can never pick up another tobacco product again.

So thanks to the Ex Perts like you who have paved the way for us newbies to find the courage and strength to quit.  I count you as my cheerleader and my friend.

Peter