Why WILLPOWER Can NEVER Work!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Have you "tried your best to fight the craves and can't seem to win?" Are you sitting there scratching your head about what went wrong and feeling like you can "never win?" I'll tell you something I learned Thanks to the Elders who helped me launch the adventure of my lifetime - Smoke FREE Living! 

I came here like most of us not knowing anything about Nicotine Addiction and was told to read and I did! It really helped but there was this guy who I thought was goofy (Thank Goodness I now know that he was spot on!) His name is James and his moniker is the Happy Quitter! ....Say what? what's there to be happy about? Strong, yes! Determined, yes! Stubborn, fierce, a fighter! But happy??? As I thought about it, something really clicked and the light bulb came on! 

I had been fighting the Nico-Demon with willpower! What could be more effective than that? But I was missing the essential...The Nico-Demon is ME!!!!!

So when I was fighting myself, how could I win without losing??? And guess what, the loser had been the part that wanted to be FREE! You can't be FREE when you're fighting!!!! 

This fellow James had something - something I really, really wanted! he was not just Quit - He was Happy being Quit! 

So how do you handle the craves if you don't fight??? What do you do instead? 

There's a fellow here named Tommy who repeatedly told me to use Focus and Determination. Could I combine these 2 great pieces of advice? Think about Focus for a minute....

When you focus with determination instead of fighting with determination, the whole picture changes! I had changed my perspective! The Nico-demon became more blurry, less important and the object of my Focus increased in POWER - the POWER to WIN! And what was that very important object of my FOCUS?

 

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE! FREEDOM!

FREEDOM from the Chains of Addiction! 

FREEDOM to be the ME that my Creator made me to be!

FREEDOM from pain, suffering, illness, devastation!

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize and ignore the Nico-Demon - but don't fight Him because HE IS ME! Just Focus on the Prize! Will He scream for attention? Oh yea! But when you ignore Him long enough, He loses energy - your Energy is on your Prize! And He gets weaker....and weaker...and weaker...and becomes a little bitty gnat that once in a great while bugs you but you easily have the POWER to swat Him back into His place ...so tiny! So worthless! 

AND YOU WIN!

[candylance]

FREEDOM, WILLINGNESS, DECISION, CHOICE, MINDSET, FOCUS, and DETERMINATION. Those are the power words that get you thru the first few months. I have found JOY on my journey. I've not gotten this far, this happy, EVER!! It's late in my life but I'm living it as if today is my last, and I want to die FREE!!

Candy     d192

[needhelp01201]

That is what I got from quiting on line.That is the mind set I'm working on.We have been brain washed for so long it will take time.But I think this is thesecret I was looking for. P.S. I am going to make you required reading for me. Thanks Thomas.Harv

[joyeuxencore]

Will power means giving UP something that you still really WANT. Freedom from nicotine means embracing deep down where you live that you are not sacrificing anything but gaining everything! xo

Happy 4 years free Thomas!  xo

[linda258]

There were some days that I know my quit was centered around "will power" and I also know I was fighting myself.   In the beginning I had to deal with not smoking any way I could.  As I became more and more aware of the addiction I started to learn that I did not want nicotine. Nicotine did not make me feel better and in fact nicotine was slowly killing me.  A much different perspective. 

Slowly, I came to enjoy the fact that I did not smoke and really appreciated being able to sit in an airport or on a plane and not worry about when I could smoke.  I enjoyed taking my time to finish dinner and not hurry to run outside. I appreciate the way my car and clothes smell without smoking.  I don't have to go out in the rain, ice or snow.  I enjoy shopping... now that I have a few extra dollars and I don't have to worry that I spent too much on cigarettes or that I might run out and need another carton i.e. $62.00.   I like feeling like I have control ... not nicotine. 

My preparation to quit included a list of 100 plus reasons not to smoke.  I think it is now time to prepare to exit NML and I need to make a new list 100 plus reasons that I am happy that I do not smoke. 

[SkyGirl]

An absolutely wonderful blog, Thomas!  Thank you so much.  I'm grateful for all your wisdom that you share here on EX.

xxxooo,  Sky

[wishingstar]

I need to see this aging .. thanks

[franscott22]

thank you so much for this blog!!!

[beckola55]

Thomas A wonderful blog, I have learned a great deal reading the wisdoms you have shared on here and I have to say, you my friend have made me see my quit in a whole different light, I thought I was going to be dreading this whole idea of being free and I'm not dreading it one bit. Thank you Thomas for being there!

You are my required reading! Becky

[moody_9-18-13]

Thomas, when I quit I was so excited, so filled with joy to be doing something that was so positive FOR myself. But, I was afraid of failure at the same time. Once I'd prepared myself for success by doing what others who were successful told me to do, I became totally committed to quitting and protecting my quit.

I was excited to find this site, to learn that so many people quit smoking every year all over the world.  I thought, how wonderful to have a support group right here online.

Thank you so much for everything you do to help others here and CONGRATULATIONS on your 4 years of freedom!!  

[annb]

Yes Thomas thank you!  Ditto to what Moody wrote!