Why I am really here

[Chelseayoung28]

I come from smokers...my step dad smoked and my mother smoked...my step dad has been my angel for over 4yrs now...December 2018 the 16th my entire family was at my sisters for a Christmas gathering...at 3am my son was woke by my mother telling him to come get me, she couldn’t breath....she smoked constantly, she had asthma, COPD, a few other smoking related issues and had already been in the hospital for breathing issues the year prior...anyways my son wakes me, i wake my sister she calls the ambulance...before the EMTs arrive my mom completely stops breathing, my husband and sisters fiancé are doing CPR and chest compressions...thankfully our children 5 of them didn’t see anything..

We follow the ambulance to the hospital, the first thing i do is light up a cigarette as soon as we get in the car..my sister looked at me with serious disapproval and i told her to shut up as soon as we get through this. I will quit no matter how many times it takes..and mom will quit too even if we have to lock her up...she was a stubborn red head lol..9days later, 9days of ICU, 9days of pure hell...the doctors tell me my best friend, my sweet momma will not be coming home to us, she was brain dead if anyone is keeping track this particular day is Christmas Eve... Her lungs were so restricted, she went without oxygen for too long...of course i had more test done and on the 27th of December i held my sweet mommas hand as she went home, but not my home. She went home to my dad and the good Lord...I am 34 yrs old, i have 4 kiddos(15,10,7 and 5mths). I have one sister who just turned 23 who has a son who just turned 4....we are both orphans...we both have so much life left that our parents will not be here for...i miss them so much!!

 my reason for being here....because i refuse to let my kids suffer the way my sister and i have without our parents!  I refuse to suck poison in my body anymore!

i have girls to wedding dress shop with, i have phone calls to receive about a new baby(hopefully in like 10yrs lol)...i have so much still! I miss my parents..cigarettes have taken so much from me and I’m done letting that happen!!! 

Sorry if the grammar, English and all that Jazz is crappy...I’m just typing and pressing publish! 

[anaussiemom]

I am so deeply sorry for all of your anguish. I am so glad you are here.  You can quit!  The urge to smoke will not kill you I promise!

Learning about this addiction is key to your success.  People will be sending you links read educate make a tool box, things to do, to nibble on, NRT's if you choose to use them.   Everyone here will help you get thru this.

 
Trust the process.  Most importantly one step at a time.
  One moment at a time. 
That is how you kick this addictions ass and win!


Hugs Kim

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Thank you for your story. I love your writing.

Anything pretty much goes here anyway if, not you add a couple***

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom real young.

What are you thinking about quitting?

A decision is more vital than a promise.

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months 

[Chelseayoung28]

I have quit, haven’t smoked in 22days... here’s praying the next 22 days are as easy!!! I listened to Allen Carr’s the easy way!!! Very helpful!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

YAY!!!

Congratulations!

[Giulia]

That's a hard story to hear.  I can only imagine what it was like to live through it.  Stick around.  This is a good place with a lot of good people who will support you all along this journey.  Sit back and just read.  You will learn so much about this addiction.  And the learning will help you to overcome it.  A strong preparation armed with knowledge will take you a long way.  Prepare well and have heart!  There's a whole new life without cigarettes.  And it's an AMAZING one!  So glad you joined our quit family.  

Oh, just as I posted you posted yours above mine.  You've already quit!!!!!   WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!  And have 22 days under your belt.  Oh you've got this!  Keep reinforcing the positives.  And keep a sense of humor about you.  It really helps give a different perspective.  Brava!

[sweetplt]

Hi and Welcome to Ex’s Chelseayoung28 

I am so happy you found us.  I am so sorry for you and your sister’s losses.  Cigarettes have taken way to many lives.  I am so glad you are going to break the cycle in your family...I suggest you go to My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and read and then set your quit date.  Your quit plan will help you to prepare for that day like no other.  Keep close to here where we support each other in this journey.  You can do this ~ I am sending you cyber hugs ~ Colleen 92 DOF

[sweetplt]

~ oops just read you are 22 days quit Congratulations...you should still read at the page I suggested above ~

[Bree19]

I am so sorry for your heatbreaking loss  Chelsea.

Losing our moms...there are no words.

However, welcome to our playground.

I am so happy you found us and that you will share your quit journey with us.

Blessings and hugs

Bree

[gramX2]

I too lost my Mom from smoking and yet  I continued to smoke for another 12 years even after watching everything she went through. It took having my own scare of possible lung cancer that finally woke me up. I had to have a piece of my lung removed and thankfully it wasn't cancer and I am now 50 days or so smoke free. I actually quit 10/10/18 but had a few slips so I restarted my quit date. It does get easier, I still find myself wanting one when I'm bored but I get through it.  Having your little ones will keep you motivated. I smoked for over 45 years and I never thought I would quit but life is so much better without it. Congratulations on your 22 days!

[Tabbiekat]

So glad you are here congrats on your 22 days quit, keep it going you got this. I can attest that this community has been a huge support to me for many reasons since I joined almost 2 years ago. They very openly accept the "venting and getting it off your chest posts" and in one way or another someone out here knows exactly what you are going through. Stay close, reach out when you need too and hold tight to your quit

Tabbie

14 DOF

[anaussiemom]

Chelseayoung28  I missed that too, about 22 days won!! Way to go, Kudos!

[Beck37]

Oh My Gosh, what an incredibly beautiful post. I am so sorry for the loss of your parents. I too lost my father to lung cancer when I was in my 30s. Didn’t keep me from smoking for another 20 years. Thank you so much for realizing how much your sister and children need you and making the decision to quit.

You are amazing and I have all the faith in you that you will do this. You already know all too well the consequences of smoking and don’t want to put your remaining love ones thru what you have experienced. Quitting is all about your attitude. Stay out of your head.  This journey isn’t easy, but it’s nothing compared to what you’ve already been thru.

You are incredible and should be so proud!!!! We are always here for you!!!

Beck

[Strudel]

Your story is powerful and sharing it here may very well help someone struggling with their quit....thank you for sharing it. I am just so sorry for your losses. 

Welcome to the site and congrats on your quit! Please, stay close and continue to get the support here. It is great and can really make the difference for a successful quit! Again - congrats! 

[Chelseayoung28]

Thanks!!

[Chelseayoung28]

Thank you so much!

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

My sympathies for the loss of your parents Chelsea.

Willingness is all that you really need to be successful at this quit. A willingness to change & grow, and you will change into someone you didn't know you wanted to be. You're gonna do things you didn't think you could do. You're gonna love her. Make the commitment & spend some time with us. We'll help in any way we can, just ask.

[Chelseayoung28]

Thank you all for all the kind words!!

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

22 days is HUGE!  Congratulations.  I will give you some reading materials and some tips that you just may have already figured out - since you've gotten this far....but there might be a bit new you can use.

I hope you will take some time to read Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Smoking."  You can find it  online or at your local library. this is an easy and entertaining read, and contains a lot of good information on this addiction. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance.

 You didn't mention whether you are using a quit aid.  If you are, I hope you are using one that doesn't let you control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. .

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route when you do your errands and food shopping. 
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[indingrl]

Sorry about your parents and so sorry all you've been through-  NICOTINE ADDICTION and life on life's term SUCKS at times- i am dealing with accepting MY 33 year old ADULT daughter OWN  personal CHOICES to drink alcohol and smoke NICOTINE -  now suffers her OWN personal consequence of alcohol addiction has cirrhosis of the liver - needs a NEW LIVER - and ONLY by God's grace -  I learned to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER- life still happens and it is up to ME - to NOT TAKE ONE PUFF OVER ME EVER- thank you so much for sharing -  I appreciate YOU and please know you have HELPED ME to remember-  I am NOT alone - EVERYONE is dealing with SOMETHING- gentle hug. 

[Sootie]

My sincerest sympathies on the loss of your Mom (and your Dad). You are very young to have lost both parents. I am so glad that you have quit smoking. Quitting young is going to be very important to you. CONGRATULATIONS on 22 days! I am sure your Mom and Dad are very proud of you and you now have two angels watching over your quit.

This is the ABSOLUTE BEST site for support in your quit.

Welcome to EX----we are all here for each other.

[elvan]

I am so sorry for your losses, you are an incredibly strong young woman and I am so proud of you for knowing that you do not want YOUR kids to go through what you went through.  The fact that you have been quit for 22 days is WONDERFUL.  I am sure your parents are watching over you and feeling great pride, what an amazing daughter AND mother you are.

Stay close to the site, we will help you in any way that we can, I have a feeling that you will be helping a LOT of people who come after you AND many of us who came before you.  You are already an amazing example.

Welcome to EX,

Ellen

[Barbscloud]

Sorry for your losses.   Thanks for sharing what might inspire someone else to quit.  Big congrats on 22 days smoke free and taking control of your life.  Stay the course and reach out if you help.  You'll be here for your children and we'll be here for you .

[lqsi12]

My oh my, thats a very heart breaking story, such courage for you to share, I am so so sorry that these terrible incidents happened to your families.  Its hard coming from a family that smoked, we learned that way, it became our way too.  All of my siblings smoked, even after the struggles our mother suffered for 6 years with cancer.  These days I was the last smoker, I believe, they all tell me they have stopped but we all know about closet smokers.  For me, I have quit so many times I forget how many, unfortunately I'm sure I have damaged my body, breathing is not hard, now that I have stopped.  So at my regular check-up in a few months I'll have a serious discussion with my physician. 

Please use us here when your ability to hold steadfast is overcome with a crave, we can help, reading has always helped so many here.  Keep this your choice, no matter what.