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Share your quitting journey

Why Bother?

Thomas3.20.2010
7 20 347

I have been reading BecomeanEX for weeks and been left speechless. My depression and anxiety have been so intense that I related to a recent post, "why bother?" 

Well, let me tell you why. EXers are not just fair weather friends. We're like Family through thick and thin. We're here for each other when we lift others up and when we are the ones in need of a lift. We have bonded over the Recovery of Nicotine Addiction - no small task! As smokers our priority over anything and anybody were our sickerettes. As recovering addicts we now realize how important people and relationships are to all of us. 

Sometimes I ask which came first the chicken or the egg. I was socially awkward before I picked up smoking - motivated by the desire to fit in! And yes, we did build relationships around our shared addiction, but those relationships were as nebulous as smoke clouds that surrounded us. 

When I became an EX I recognized that we are friends of recovery - not addiction. Addiction stunts our growth and recovery nourishes self growth. So we grew up in front of our Community. When you go back to your favorite EXer's earliest blogs and then progress through the blogs toward the present you see this growing process right before your eyes. 

We come here timid and doubtful and grow into confident and secure. It's the gift of Smoking Cessation. That doesn't mean that we don't get depressed and or anxiety as well as other life challenges. It means we don't have to go through these tense times alone.

And we don't have to celebrate our Quit Anniversaries, milestones, and accomplishments alone.

Why bother? Because we have each other - just a blog away!

If I can't be here some days, my friends have my back. When they can't be here, I have theirs. We're in this beautiful, magnificent, wondrous recovery together! 

when you need a lift | Kittens cutest, Kittens, Cute animals

20 Comments
sweetplt
Member

pastedImage_1.pngTogether we are parts of a chain...and definitely here for each other...!

Why bother? Because we have each other - just a blog away!

If I can't be here some days, my friends have my back. When they can't be here, I have theirs. We're in this beautiful, magnificent, wondrous recovery together! 

So very true dear Thomas Thomas3.20.2010 ... Thank you for this message...Have a restful evening...~ Colleen 611 DOF 

elvan
Member

LOVE that picture!  All that you wrote is so true, the friendships we have formed here will stay with us forever.  I never thought about the fact that my smoking friendships really were based upon mutual addiction.  It's challenging to maintain a friendship with someone who still smokes.

I have learned so much from you, Thomas, I hope you know how valuable you have been to me and my quit for the time I have been here.  I think this is such an unsettled time and there are so many things to be concerned about that depression and anxiety are looming around everyone.  You are a special, generous man and I am so glad that you are here.

Ellen

Strudel
Member

Oh Thomas - what a wonderful blog. I have always been amazed by the special bond with our friends here! Thank you for reminding us of that. God bless you! 

MarilynH
Member

Thank you Thomas for this wonderful heartfelt thought provoking blog post that is 100 % truth we are all in this together and we become friends and Fellow EXers and most definetly EXtended family.....

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WhispersQSMB
Member

When I became an EX I recognized that we are friends of recovery

We come here timid and doubtful and grow into confident and secure.

Well, let me tell you why. EXers are not just fair weather friends

Love the post and this "As recovering addicts we now realize how important people and relationships are to all of us. "

You know when a substance or a person is toxic, ex has support and helpful people. All to help you improve your health and beat the nicotine addiction. When two people disagree you will find out a little more about the other. I was on a support site, with a few bad eggs.

Barbara145
Member

"The opposite of addiction is connection"  I read that somewhere early in my quit.  It took a little while for me to get it.  By the time I quit I was spending so much time alone.  I now stay connected  Take care of yourself Thomas.  I pray for you.

Cousin-Itt
Member

I so much agree   Thank you for the post Thomas3.20.2010

Barbscloud
Member

Thanks for the lovely post.  Take care.

Barb

Maki
Member

Good to see you , you were another person missed . Anxiety and depression is a common thread and many suffer in silence . I'm sorry you struggle with the two and hope you will feel better soon . 

This is a great post and so glad you posted it . I don't give up on others because others never gave up on me . I also don't give in to smoking because I know together we do best for others and ourselves by not giving in or giving up .  

"Why bother"  is obvious to me . I will continue to keep my quit in good times and in bad times . You put it so well . Thank you Thomas , stay safe , feel better , love your posts ,and  please do get back to us soon . 

AnnetteMM
Member

The answer to "why bother" is always people! Why bother? Her, or him, or us, or them. ALWAYS.

Well done, friend. I certainly wouldn't be here without all of you.

RoseH
Member

Great post  Thomas3.20.2010

Daniela2016
Member

Thank you Thomas, going through everything we are going through, as a nation, the "why bother" visited my own thoughts more than once.  And it was EX I thought of first when the "why bother" came up.  It is EX which is the answer to the question.  And it is because of EX we are where we are on our healing journey.

Thank you for the reminder, I needed it!!!

And look, Dale's name is even on the board

Exclusive: Justin White's 'Rated G' Art Show - Your Favorite ...

Christine13
Member

Thank you for this Thomas.  This is so true.  Hope you get to feeling better.  You give me courage.

Giulia
Member

What I wouldn't give to get and give a hug with you.  All your blogs are hugs, but...I just had this unbelievable desire to squeeze you to death.

Mike.n.Atlanta

Love this blog Thomas.

Found this today by Emilee Kerrigan

This applies to any addiction.

Drugs control my life

So don't try to convince me that

I can be sober

Because at the end of the day

I can't do this

And I'm not going to lie to myself by saying

I will prosper & succeed

So I will remind myself

That I am a selfish terrible person

And nothing you tell me will make me believe

I deserve a good life

Because no matter what

I will always be addicted

And I wonder if

Things will get better

Because when I look in the mirror, I will always think

Can I recover?

Now read it from bottom to top.

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Sootie
Member

Thomas3.20.2010‌  This is a fantastic blog and is exactly how I feel about the EX community. It is why I am here....it is why I will always BE here no matter what.

Giulia‌  Best of EX??

Mike.n.Atlanta‌ THANKS MIKE! I had read this somewhere awhile ago but could not find it and did not know what to search for. Turn things around.......sometimes you get a surprise.

Giulia
Member

I thought the same thing about putting in Best of Ex.  Thanks for voting for it by your response.  

SuzyQ411
Member

So touching, heartfelt and universal Thomas3.20.2010‌~ I am so glad you shared all of this with us. At the Ex, none of us are alone!

Akebulon
Member

Well said

indingrl
Member

animated_1597009816418.gif MY beloved brother Thomas - YOU are ONE of MY FAMILY member's that I keep coming BACK to lift other's above MYSELF just like YOU taught ME to do - just like YOU brother

About the Author
63 years old. 20 year smoker. 11 Years FREE! Diagnosed with COPD. Choosing a Quality LIFE! It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1