Where's that freakin Cat....Screaming Cat? UGH!

[gmvirtual_gina]

ok, so I'm irritated again! I'm sitting here today working through a tantrum....been online for a hour or so trying to let it pass and it's not going away. I don't know which symptom belongs to which issue today and it's making me nuts. day 59.....when I saw other people here when I first came to this site I remember thinkin...wow they are old pro's! They have it down to a science....but now I'm here. yes, for the most part it's easier...but man when those days come...

I'm in early menopause so I get hot flashes, that part I understand. the rest of it seems to blur together....hubby and I got into a small spat last night and it ate at me all day and made me want to cry. it was stupid, over something very little. It' this new hyper sensitive side. I used to just step away and smoke and then I would feel better....at least I thought so.....it's that hole again! I thought I solved this freakin hole in a previous blog....man it's just a crappy day!

Hyper-sensitive, unable to focus.....I read at whyquit.com and it said the concentration issues go away after the first few weeks, in fact most of the issues are gone after the first week. I couldn't find anything there that talks about our mental mindset in month 2 and 3 .......and yet I remember someone telling me about the icky 3's...and that month 3 was a hard one;.....so that sort of helps...i guess I just don't want to feel that I'm nuts today. That this is par......and this "too" shall pass.

maybe I'll smoke an e-cig...ha ha ha ha....ok that was just not nice. sorry.

people with more days than me.....tell me - why would I still be having issues......is this quit related....or am I just physcho now and stuck with it......having nothing to do with my quit??? I need to read some facts....I keep looking and I don't want to read a whole book, I just want to read what applies to now....ha ha there's my tantrum again, I want it my way dammit!! ha ha! stubborn me! stubborn stubborn me!! really - tell me friends.....what is to come....

My friends out there are all dealing with some crappy stuff....health issues, children issues, custody issues.....and yet I'm fighting over pencils with my husband and crying about it.........the concept of that alone makes me more nuts!!!

all these years of smoking.....all my mind knows is the cig break, the smoke break, the get away.....my mind now knows and is trying to buy into the fact that I don't smoke now, and I know to go walk away, normal triggers that works.....these big sensitive, crazy moody days.....I haven't found out how to console myself in these moments yet.....other than to just sit here and throw these little fits!!!

like a stupid little crying baby, on the floor, legs flailing........where's Kellie with her cool pictures....??!!

[teresa]

yep, we are psyco.... thats ok, we love us, right? hypersensitive.... i like that, thats the word to use when im bawling on the couch cus i dont have a nicotine lozenge.... lol. just remember it will be ok, and it will change, it may get better or it may get worse, but it will get different. geeze, i think i got hit with the gloom bug!

[sue-otts]

It really does get better! For me it was right around 75 to 80 days. You are almost there just hang on. The brain fog will start to lift in a week or two. It is a gradual thing. Same thing with the emotions too. But if you are in menopause your hormones might really be out of wack and quitting smoking could make them worse.
I hope this helps you. ((((((((Gina))))))))

[carlie]

Alright now.....stop it and suck it up !!!!! NOW !!!!

Anything and everything related to this quit is over and done with....pretty much....and I went thru the "changes" for 15 frickin years !!! Started at about your age...ended 8 years ago !!!! ahhhhhhhhh !!!! Black Cohosh..every
day - helps with the hormones being jumbled about !!! There's a vitamin company I deal with online...has this line of "support" vitamins - herbs...blends. They have one called "Hormone Support"...you need it. Talk to your OB/Gyn and ask for a maturation index to be done...tells you if you ARE going thru "meno"...and where in it you are !!! DO NOT take HRT's !!!!! Bad news !!!!
ANYWAY...so, we have established.....you are a natural nut-case....who needs some special coddling every now and then !!! Stop taking this out on your hubby...and stop with the tantrums !!!!

Anything else I can do for you...hmmmmmmmmmmm ??????????????

[hwc]

At 60 days, I was OK 90% of the time, but I still got rocked by an occasional left hook. Usually some kind of first time trigger or something that just made me want to scream. That's pretty normal.

Just think about how far you've come in 60 days from those first wobbly days when you were in hand to hand combat with craves. You'll make that much progress again over the next 60 days. These trying days are just part of dynamic process.

Also, don't lose sight of the fact that people who have never smoked a day in their lives have days when they want to scream and punch something. Not every bad day is the result of quitting smoking!

[gmvirtual_gina]

Why does the brain fog last sooo long??? it's nuts....the physical part has been over for weeks right?? ugh!! Anyhow, thanks guys, it does help to feel a bit more normal. I've been in the menopause issues for 6months...so that stuff really isn't new. Most of this is likely just me being a turkey!! But thanks!

[carlie]

"Normal" is a setting on a washing machine.....and what does hwc know about menopause ??????????

[sue-otts]

Gina,

How long did you smoke? Did you honestly believe that you would be healed by now? It takes a while for our brains to get back to a non-smoking brain. Hang in there it tomorrow will be a better day! Hugs!!!!!

[barbara42]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))just keep breathing deep ((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) PEACE!

[gmvirtual_gina]

ha ha ha ha carlie!!! you make me laugh!!! That is exactly what friends are for!! yup, I hate chemicals...ironic eh this from an ex smoker! I hate pills....I have a liquid I take that has black cohosh in it.....and I just realized I haven't taken it in a week or so.....I mean come on I was feelin better.....DUH Gina....DUH!!

HWC....I needed to hear facts, hearing that you, being far into your quit, had moments at 2months....well it helps. I know I'm gonna have junk to deal with....it's kicking the habit of how I dealt with it for many years....that throws me off my rocker....ya know? that "I'm already pissed off feeling and now I can't smoke either!"......not that I would smoke now, I love being quit....it's just one more thing to piss me off........make sense? it feels normal.......crazy normal.....but like it's all supposed to be happening and healthy and part of the process.....but sometimes I forget to check in, I get busy tyring to help some of my new quit friends and I start thinkin I'm supposed to be stronger than I am.,.......and I'm afraid to lean and whine........anyhow.....THANKS ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cindywilson]

Gina sweetie one of the worst days I had in my quit came at day 55, I was sitting in front of a store crying hysterically over watching the manager smoke, why? Have no idea, ran home and locked myself in the house, psycho...menopause, please I remember my sister was at the house trying to help me after surgery (automatic menopause) and I had no hormones, she tried to take the broom from me and I slammed her into a wall and scared her half to death, then I started crying hysterically, still have symptoms and the black cohosh is the best. Carlie I could not find that tea today and I went to the store to get it, the camomile is easy to find but not the other one...

[sandra5]

Hi Gina, No cat but I do love this squirrel!!!! If I had written a post at 50 to 60 Days it would have been so close to identical to what you have written. So similar we could be twins!!! Ok, so I'm a little older LOL!! A little super charged willpower comes in handy here.... Grab a water or cranberry and soda, a few vitamins never hurt and eat something healthy -- WALK -- WALK -- or Workout -- Do Something that Gets You Moving!! Look yourself square in the eye in the mirror and say "HAH - I Win" and go DO something - be sure its something where you MOVE. No sitting allowed........ I remember doing exactly this with a very bad Sunday afternoon and I learned...... This is simply one more stage of the quit. We do find new ways to deal with situations and the more practise the better it becomes. Not perfect but better. BIG HUGS, Sandra

[carlie]

................and, oh yeah...that "liquid" with the black cohosh in it...................DRINK SOME !!!!!!!

You crack me up, girl...you really do !!!!!! Love ya !!!!!

[Denise28]

Hey, I don't know if my opinion matters to you since I technically am only on day 7. I also do have many nonsmoking days even though they are not consecutively but I have made it to day 74 and day 84 in the past year. What I think this is happening to you, is that you are blaming what you are feeling on not smoking. You dealt with every feeling with smoking and now you don't do that anymore. I just think your having a crappy day and you could have had the same crappy day if you were a smoker too. I think you should just accept that it's a crappy day. By doing that, you will probably become a littler closer to learning to deal and live life without smoking. Maybe the craving will go away. And if you have a crappy day tomorrow too, you probably won't even think about smoking. Don't confuse a bad moment with eternity.

[hwc]

"Normal" is a setting on a washing machine.....and what does hwc know about menopause ??????????

Amen, sister! And, even if I thought I knew something about menopause (from watching my wife, doncha know), I'm not damned fool enough to open my mouth and offer a man's opinion on menopause to a bunch of women. Sheesh. I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid!

I'll stick to smoking issues, thank you very much. I'm trying to think what set me off past the 30 day mark. That would have been a whole series of spring first time triggers: mowing the lawn, cooking steaks on the grill, watching the Masters on TV (seeing grandstands where I smoked as a teenager, etc.) I remember pacing up and down the driveway a couple of times. I don't exactly recall, but that's probably when I got into it with my wife for asking me to put mushrooms in the salad. How dare she...didn't she know I was trying to quit smoking? That's when I smashed the poor salad spinner. (Cooking/kitchen was my most hard core trigger that took a while to finally wipe away).

Again, for the newbies, most of us are fine 90% of the time at the two month mark. I'm not talking about pulling my hair out day after day. But, we all have our moments.

[nicole]

the brain fog...i would have to say its the hormonal imbalance that comes with the menopausal tendencies. I remeber (im comparing pregnancy to menopause because your hormones are wild with both) when i was pregnant...i swear i was retarded (be nice now....i mean more so than now....ha ha beat yall to it) I had brain farts...and i worked at a bank with the first one i guy came in to cash his check and i looked at it i swear for like 5 min and he cleared his throat and i said ....what was i doing with this...and hes like hopefully gonna give me some money. I had my tubes tied after my second (i didnt do a lot of research....doc said only major side effect was chance of tubal preg. would be greater) well after i got my tubes done i found out that there is a thing call post tubal ligations syndrom. What causes this is the blood flow not going to the ovaries and therefore them not functioning properly. SOOOOOO i guess with this whole thing the point im trying to make is that i would chalk it up to the hormones......and just slight urge cause in the past thats how you would cope with it. Wish you well with the hormonal imbalance....sucks being a female.

[amy20]

I'm there Gina! I'm at day 70 and I also had a minor melt down around day 41...just 10 days off here and there! I have noticed, since this is the 2nd time this has happened during my quit...PMS is a factor for me! I have been a cry baby lately and hateful! My only saving grace, well my Husband's only, he's been out of town this week! I too have been dealing with pre menopausal stuff since my Daughter's birth~life is grand 🙂
Hang in there...this to shall pass! (One of our daily mantras!)

[theresa-sargent]

What Denise said says it all to me... Don't confuse a bad moment with eternity.