When things go left instead of right

[Mandolinrain]

I'm fairly certain you have experienced this.

Sorrow.

An unbelievable inner pain thats draws into your soul that sometimes is so over whelming that you wonder if you will ever recover, or feel secure.

I felt this this way when I quit smoking. I assumed, life was forever changing now and I was right. It did. It had forever changed. Now, I see it was a blessing, but I didn't then.

At first, after SEVERAL failed attempts, when  I finally grasped my final quit....the beginning of it felt familiar. Then something happened. I took a right hand turn. I began to relate WHY I had so many failed quits. I started to put 2 and 2 together and REALLY put time into figuring it out.

This is not Rocket Science folks. We are addicts of nicotine. If we keep doing the same thing, we will get the same results.

I know for a fact, I would never stop at one cigarette  if I smoked just one. Because, they travel in packs....I will smoke the whole damn thing. You know...you would too....

I am going through some crappy stuff right now any life. Not wanting to go into detail but one thing I know for sure, it will pass. It will make me stronger and I WILL NOT SMOKE over it. All of us on this site have these moments. Crappy Stuff times. So I challenge you......

Go Right.....

Don't let life throw a curve ball to your left. You may never see them coming

But may you always be armored.

We are survivors~Yes?

XOXO

[YoungAtHeart]

and, consider, if you KEEP going left, you will put yourself in a never ending circle.

GO RIGHT!

[MarilynH]

Great post Missy and so true, life can and does and will continue to kick us in the teeth at times but that's life and as you say we have our armour on and we are survivors   YES we are, thank you Missy I needed to read this tonight. XO 

[Barbara145]

Praying for you and your "crappy stuff."  Be kind and gentle with yourself as you navigate through.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I use toilet paper myself, but I know you're talking about other crappy stuff so I won't go into detail.

Much love and care.

I'm sorry this is a down time.

Keep the faith.

[Barbara145]

The word sorrow just reminded me of a poem I wrote when I was 19 years old.  I have not thought of it in a long time.  I was married and pregnant and I discovered my husband was unfaithful.  I am now 71 years old.     " Oh pain, oh agony that radiates through the soul and flesh of my body.  Gone is he whose child I will soon bare.  Alas a son, a beautiful son so  innocent and pure, alone all alone shall I raise you to never bring sorrow."     He is 51 years old, very happily married.  He has only been married once.  

[Mandolinrain]

Ahhh, this is a beautiful request before God Barb. He answered your prayers as i have faith He will answer mine. We ALL go through these times. Its Gods way to draw us closer to Him. That ,in itself , is  blessing. We are Blessed I will  be okay. Nothing my God can't handle...I jus know I will not smoke over it

Thats these message I was sending.....all of us have had these crappy times...they will pass. Smoking will do nothing but head us towards the left Left behind.

[elvan]

Barbara145‌ I am so sorry you went through that but look at what a strong and amazing lady you are now...congratulations on that beautiful 51 year old son...what a lovely and insightful poem for a 19 year old.

XOXO,

Ellen

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Going Right Together is Easier.  We are here for you No Matter What you are going through. 

[IrishRose]

Hey, Beautiful Lady!  I have had a time getting on Ex the last couple days.  I kept on getting locked up, and then I got a message saying this was not a safe website from the security program I have on my computer.  That in itself really pissed me off, because I felt the need to say hi to my buddies here.  Your blog caught my eye first thing when I was finally able to connect with Ex.   

I understand the overwhelming sadness that will consume the soul, as I experience it more than I would like.  I get this horrible feeling that something bad is coming down the pike, and I hate when I get that feeling.  Something usually verifies my ESP within a short period of time of when I get that feeling.  I got that feeling over a month ago, but I was too hard-headed and hurt to expose myself again to someone I love more than life itself.  All I had to do was make that one phone call.  Do I regret not making that call?  Yes!  Big time. 

Today, I cannot put my finger on what is wrong, but I hurt inside.  I know I worry too much, way too much.  I feel other peoples' pain, and I wish I could shed that too.

In any event, you are so right about not being able to smoke just one cancer stick, because they most definitely travel in packs.  And, we must not fall back on them when things are going astray, because smoking does not solve problems or calm the soul, it just makes matters worse for you, your health and well-being. 

Know that you are in my heart and thoughts, and I am here for you if you need me.  You have an awesome quit, and we need to keep those awesome quits close to our hearts and not revert back to where we came from.

Big (((((hug)))))) for you!!!!!

Irish Rose 

[Mandolinrain]

Oh thank you  I am ok. Its just life you know? I think theres not one person on this site who does not go through these times. But they can make us stronger f we allow it and thats what I'm shooting for

It's been crazy busy here and I am not going to be on Ex as much for this week.

Thank you for the encouragement. xoxo

[JonesCarpeDiem]

We will miss you. Feel better.

Pace yourself.

[Mandolinrain]

Thank you Dale. 

[SandyV]

Hi,  I am fairly new here.  I can so relate to what you are saying.  I suffered an immense loss of my 34 year old daughter and the grief and anger and all the emotions that come with it has been a huge load to carry and quit smoking through.  But it  has to be done!  Smoking is only making things worse. I am not there yet but reading your post was a big inspiration!  Thank you!

sandyv

[Mandolinrain]

Thats one of the perks of being an Ex. We all have gone through 'stuff', some worse than others and this place is such a wonderful place to come to to be lifted up in prayers and spirit. These are genuine folks here. I was away all weekend and I missed this site alot. 

I am SO sorry for the loss of your daughter. I cannot even begin to imagine the ache in your heart. I am sending you a huge hug and many many prayers for you. Stay close, we will all be here for you. One day at a time. Sometimes, one second at a time....but we are near always. xoxo

[YoungAtHeart]

You will learn, in time, that smoking does not one thing FOR you and so much TO you.  Stay the course and you will understand how wonderful this thing called freedom can be.

I send my sympathy on your loss.

Nancy