What is wrong with me?

[pat3]

Please, someone explain to me why when I know that I may already have cancer do I want a cigarette? That is the stupidest thing I know. I am embarrassed to admit it. I have known many people who have cancer and continue to smoke. One guy had a trach and smoked through it. I always thought that the minute I heard " You may have cancer" all the desire for a cigarette would instantly vanish. To me, that seems like the sane reaction to have. It's like my brain is saying " Gee, lets keep smoking and make sure that if you don't have cancer now, you will get it later. Am I just hopeless? I really feel like I must be out of my mind.

[maria18]

What kind of cancer are they testing you for??

[pat3]

They are testing me for Lung cancer. There is a nodule in the lower left lobe of my lung.

[maria18]

Now that is scary! I will pray for you! Maybe, it could be a scar from something else you were exposed to. Poor Pat! It's no wonder you're stressing. When I smoked, which was only 54 days ago, everything that happened was what I used cigarettes for. When I was in pain, stressed, upset etc. There is nothing wrong with you that you are turning to the only tool you are used to for dealing with stress, but I pray that with a good prognosis, you will reconsider and stay away from them before something else crops up. And if it is a bad prognosis, well then you will need to use everything you need to to bear up under the situation.

[hwc]

Nothing is wrong with you. You are a nicotine drug addict. Probably got caught in the trap as a teenager, just like every one of us did. You have a physical craving for nicotine. Every cigarette you smoke stops the craving from falling nicotine levels, but here's the Catch-22. Every cigarette you smoke guarantees that you stay addicted and that the craving will return in an hour. It is a cycle that you can break one way: STOP USING THE DRUG! It will be out of your system in three days. The physical withdrawal will be easier by the end of the first week and completely over in 14 days. A month from now, you won't have any trouble not smoking and you will be so proud of yourself for doing something you know you have to do, no matter which way your diagnosis goes.

Here's a podcast from Joel Spitzer at www.whyquit.com about a woman who thought she couldn't quit:

[helen-carew]

I am going to start praying every day that God will help me with this. Do they have an AA for smokers? I live such a good life and have such a wonderful family, why is it that I let myself down like this. I am too smart to be a smoker.

[NancyJC]

Oh Pat, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope everything turns out to be OK. Anyway, it is like the rest have said, there's nothing wrong with you. Nicotine addiction is a very powerful thing. I have a brother who has a very bad heart condition but still smokes. A man I worked with had lung cancer, which went into his spine, had part of his lung removed, had chemo, and STILL smoked. You can do this. We have all been through this. We are here for you. You won't believe the freedom you feel when you quit. Take care girl. Peace.

[rob4]

Wow Pat, you must be beside yourself; I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you 🙂

There is nothing wrong with you! We smokers learned how to cope with stress by lighting up. It is a trigger for most of us, and that is what's happening to you. You are going through a very stressful time, and the mental habit is sending signals to smoke. We all knew the dangers of smoking, yet we still lit up! WE ARE CALLED ADDICTS. Sad but true. I really hope things work out well for you...get well soon 🙂

[hwc]

Helen:

It's not a question of whether your are smart or not. Nicotine doesn't care. Some of the most brilliant, creative, famous people in the world have been nicotine addicts. Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Babe Ruth (died of oral cancer at 53), Roger Maris, (died of lung cancer at 51), King George (died of lung cancer at 56), Humphrey Bogart (died of esophagus cancer at 57), George Harrison (died at 58 from throat, then lung, then brain cancer). All these people were nicotine addicts, just like you and me.

All of them were caught in a catch-22 trap. They needed the next cigarette to quiet the physical craving for nicotine as the last cigarette wore off, but each cigarette guaranteed that the cravings would return. Smokers live their lives from one crave to the next. Non-smokers and ex-smokers don't experience craves. The addiction is like a ball n' chain.

Fortunately, it's so easy to quit. You just stop. Within seven days, the craves are beginning to fade. Within a couple of months, they are no longer a part of your daily routine -- maybe a few seconds a day spent thinking about smoking.