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What To Expect In The First Four Months

JonesCarpeDiem
154 177 18.7K

You can choose to be anxious and fearful

to quit smoking but, it is not required.

cow.jpg

     Sure, you will have some rough days in first two to three weeks experiencing the physical withdrawal symptoms and beginning to unlearn the habit part of smoking. We all did.

      You will feel "out of it" like something is missing or not right.

      The memories of smoking are strong because they are connected to every emotion and life experience.

       Quitting is a process. After being on this and another site for over 10 years an average of 10 hours a day listening and watching and helping,  I see it as a definable process.

     You can begin to understand what is happening by living smoke free but, you must continue making the choice to not smoke for a period of time in order to unlearn the psychological connections and be successful.  As you live daily without smoking the unlearning process continues as you build new memories that don't include smoking.

     This is the secret of success. You must unlearn the hand to mouth and inhale motions that are connected to the memories and emotions experienced as a smoker.

     Enjoy the process, don't bemoan it. This is the only way to be free and not desire to be a smoker ever again.

     After about 130 days you will not be thinking of you as a smoker or of smoking as often.  Be willing to give yourself that amount of time without giving up on yourselves.

Accept your new path as a non smoker. The only way out is through.

Here Is The Timeline Of What You Can Expect

1st week toughest. (It feels so awkward to make the change initially)

2nd week is better (some are through the worst portion after 2 weeks)

3rd week is mo' better (most are through the worst withdrawal symptoms by the end of the third week)

4th week even better.

      By the beginning of the 5th week, you think you got it licked. BUT

The next three months are the test because you will get urges out of nowhere They can be strong they can last an hour or longer and be spread over 2-3 days, but these are usually far between.

Get up! Get busy. Use the tools that got you this far.

     They typically aren't stronger than anything you've already experienced. It's because they are so unexpected and can catch you off guard that makes them dangerous.

      You've smoked for a long time.

      Promise yourself 130 days from your last puff without giving in and you will rarely think of smoking.

and....laugh when you crave (chuckle in church)

(Please read the no mans land blog that follows which describes the feelings you might  experience at one point or another in those 3+ months after the first month quit)

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-days-30-to130-appr...

and also, about the two sets of seasons building your new non smoking memories below.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2013/12/05/the-two-sets-of...

177 Comments
smokenomorelpj

I am mobile, and attend the gym. I work in NYC, and where I work there are a lot of smokers outside, so I have avoided taking my daily walks, which makes me a little anxious. I will try to walk tomorrow and challenge myself to avoid the usual daily smoke I used to do with coffee. I haven't had a cup since I quit on Monday. Thank you. 

JonesCarpeDiem

So just change your routine slightly. have your coffee in a different spot. walk a different route

smokenomorelpj

Thank you.

I will definitely try that tomorrow. 

manonlavigne1965

You know what's scared me the most about quitting that I will be taking a lot of drugs most people around that quit for the last 29 years are taking daily at least 4 pills for anxiety and to contre affect the other pills.  I am taking no pills and also they took a lot of weight and I always working on my weight 

JonesCarpeDiem

Are you sure you need all your pills? How do you anticipate quitting smoking is going to affect your anxiety. Cut a straw into thirds and hold that or chew on it.

elvan
Member

I am not taking any pills related to my quitting smoking and my weight is stable.  I exercise regularly and have no issues with anxiety...I think anxiety is FED by smoking.

smokenomorelpj

I have taken my former "smoking" route to the pier when weather permits as much as i can, and I have not had a single cigarette. I was worried that since my routine was to walk to the pier once daily at work to smoke and drink coffee, I would not be able to do that anymore. Not the case. It was difficult at first but not impossible. Now I just enjoy the water and play games on my cell. 

Lewis 

Anite
Member

does that mean you stopped having coffee?

smokenomorelpj

No, but I don't drink it everyday as I used to. It was so connected to the smoking routine. Now, that I don't smoke, I guess I don't need the coffee as much. 

Lewis 

elvan
Member

I did stop for the first few weeks and I drank green tea instead.  I am NOT a fan of green tea or any other tea for that matter so I went back to coffee.  I am much more sensitive to caffeine since I quit so I only drink one cup a day as opposed to a full pot.  I never smoked in the house so I really never drank my coffee outside and the two were not linked.  I got up, MADE coffee, went outside and smoked a cigarette and fed our feral cat BEFORE I quit, AFTER I quit,  I came back inside and got my coffee and usually signed in on EX. that became my new routine...feed the cat, grab the coffee, and go to EX.  It gave my quit a much needed kick in the pants and after just a couple of days, I no longer craved that morning cigarette, I will admit that I was pretty surprised.

smokenomorelpj

Since it is cold in NYC now, I drink green tea because my job supplies it, and I don't have to venture out in the freezing weather. 

elvan
Member

smokenomorelpj‌ I could get tea or coffee at work but now I elect to drink water while I am there and I LOVE not having to take smoke breaks and smell like a stale ashtray when I come back in.

ampan75
Member

that morning cig... I used to get up in morNing  because of crave. now I feel relax in morning and also iam not depressed. I used to crave all day. every 30 min or 1 hour I rushed outside to sMoke. I tried to reduce but no use. I want to be in present all time. don't like wondering in past or future. they beyond my reach. be happy and watch each breAthe. they so precious. 

12Finally34
Member

Thanks.  

I would just grab a big straw and smoke it.  Now I will divide it into quarters.  I have to pay attention to my inability to get focus with my work.  

Again thank for the suggestion about the straw.

elvan
Member

I will never stop referring newbies to this blog...I read it so many times when I first quit and I continue to read it when I need a kick in the behind...not that I am expecting to smoke, I just need frequent attitude adjustments.

Have a beautiful Saturday, Dale.

Hugs,

Ellen

MarilynH
Member

I also refer the New folks and anyone struggling to this page because it's definitely the Go To Page To Strengthen One's Quit, it's a wonder I didn't blow up this page for as many times as I've read it! Like I said it's definitely the Go To Page To Continue Stacking up those precious DOF.....

Barbscloud
Member

Thanks.  Another newbie that hadn't read this.

BHnCA
Member

Just yesterday I responded to someone else's post about the fear we feel in quitting.  Specifically, I have a hard time imaging what my life and identity will be without cigarettes, so I was happy to have found this post because one line (shown below) is especially helpful to me right now.  I guess it took years to build my associations WITH smoking, so it only makes sense that unlearning and replacing them with NEW associations will occur just as gradually ... if I can just stay the course, which is my earnest goal at this time.  Like my granddaughter says sometimes "You have to be patient, like the letter Z, because Z is the very last letter to be called. GET IT?"  

As you live daily without smoking the unlearning process continues as you build new memories that don't include smoking.

 

 

 

Imsic
Member

I just joined this group today. Even though I had quit for 3 months. My husband went on a trip and I bought a pack of smokes.  I am totally enjoying them!  What the heck is the matter with me?  My health really depends on me quitting.                                  So I’m going to give it my best shot this time.  I did feel great when I wasn’t smoking.  It’s these darn cravings.  And I know this might sound ridiculous but I really feel lost with out them. See ya soon. Thanks for reading.  

JonesCarpeDiem

Welcome

Did you get rid of them?

If you didn't, you're working against yourself.

Tell me about your 3 months. Were you using an aid?

What was getting you through for those three months?

Imsic
Member

Hi, sorry I didn’t reply sooner. Still learning this site. Thanks for writing to me. I’ve been smoke free now since my quit date (June 6).  It’s not easy. I feel like I’m in pretty good control. I’m going cold turkey because the patches that I used last time made me very shaky and anxious the first time I quit. The first 3 months were easier in the beginning because I was in the hospital for week one, and on oxygen most of the time after that. I’ve been seeing a pulmonologist ever since. Last week I had a few tests and this week I’ll find out how bad my COPD is.  Thanks again for writing. I basically don’t have anyone to share with. So, how long have you quit smoking?

JonesCarpeDiem

I quit Jan 2, 2007 after smoking daily for 40 years. Feel free to share on this site. That's what we;re here for. Let us know the results,. Thomas is the up to date  person on COPD.

Thomas3.20.2010 

Tanuaj
Member

Thanks!!!

princessdeb
Member

JonesCarpeDiem well...my reading has brought me here to your fabulous blog!  Tomorrow is day 7 and I definitely needed to read this.  Thanks for sharing your knowledge, support, and encouragement!!  Now off to follow the links.

Deborah 6 DOF 

JonesCarpeDiem

You're Welcome!

JonesCarpeDiem

I'm glad to be of help. 

WereAllMadHere

Thank you for posting!!! Day 5 here.

JonesCarpeDiem

Onward and Upward

sweetplt
Member

Excellent post ... and absolutely the truth...❤️

elvan
Member

I bookmarked this post and read it over and over again and I ALWAYS found it incredibly helpful!

millon03
Member

My sister has been smober for almost 20 years and she told me that in the first year she lost nearly all of her friends because of her foul mood and (now) brutal honesty with them all. I realize I don't want her experience, even if I want her smober time. I want to find real joy and happiness and freedom in this experience! A little discomfort!! Ha, what about the discomfort I feel gagging at 3 in the morning because I can't breath? Or blacking out having coughed so hard and not being able to catch my breath? Because these things are happening to me now. Little urges here and there are worth it I can breath. 

Thanks for caring Dale!

Peace

M.

elvan
Member

millon03‌ I remember when I was working at the law school in our town and I had not been quit for too long but I was ALWAYS promoting quitting and EX and one of the professors stopped by the register and told me that he had quit 20 years before and not a minute of a day went by when he did not want a cigarette.  That's the difference between being in recovery and just being a "dry drunk"...if you don't WORK your quit and pay attention to who you are and to GROWING in the right direction, you certainly can be a b++@ch.  Part of this journey is learning to deal with your feelings and your emotions, being honest does not give us permission to be cruel.  It's part of recovery to treat people in a civilized way...kind of like growing up.  I HOPE that I am not using my quit as an excuse to be inconsiderate or "honest" in a way that is hurtful.  Quitting is not easy but neither is life....at least MY life hasn't been for a very, very long time.

Ellen

millon03
Member

Yeah, I guess what you are saying is, "it's time to finally grow up!" 

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

M.

elvan
Member

millon03  Hey, I smoked for 47 years and still basically had the emotional maturity of a 17 year old because that is how old I was when I started...imagine my shock and dismay when I saw my reflection in a mirror and I was HONESTLY seeing myself.  You are so welcome, I don't ever want to sound like the monster I sometimes FEEL like, I have been wearing my big girl pants for over five years now and they don't look bad.  We can make excuses to smoke and we can make excuses to be rude and inconsiderate because we AREN'T smoking...OR we can accept where we are in life and accept our feelings...physical and emotional and we CAN grow stronger every day...one day at a time or one MOMENT at a time.

Best,

Ellen

millon03
Member

Ellen, I have to go home soon and I am a little apprehensive. I have ashtrays to dump and countertops to clean and I don't know what else and I want to be sure my head is screwed on straight. My roommate smokes, mostly in his bedroom and my dad smokes cigars in an office I share with him. I know they are just me, addicts and I don't want to take any crap out on them. I just want peace... Any advice before I go?

elvan
Member

millon03‌ ASK for their help and support, you just might find that they are more than willing to help you.  I just saw this, wish I had more to offer...I would seriously consider asking if the house could be a nonsmoking zone, not just to support you but because it would be healthier for EVERYONE.  As far as the cleanup...see if you can put some Vicks under your nose and look at how disgusting those ashtrays are...they SMELL, they are dirty, they seriously are disgusting.  If you ask for help and they are confrontational, it is because their addictions are so strong.  Tell them how much you want peace and how much it would mean to you to have their support.  If they don't GIVE it...remove yourself as much as possible from the situation.  Remember that EX is here...we all want to support you and help you.  

Your head is most definitely screwed on straight...you can do this one ash at a time if need be...you do NOT have to do it alone.  Do you SEE how many people are here?  Every single person here started at a beginning...some had a harder time than others but you CAN do this.  

If you feel sad...it;s okay to cry, it you feel angry, it's okay to express that, if you feel scared and insecure...remember that's NORMAL!

Hugs to you,

Ellen

Ballgame89
Member

Thank you for this...I will need this a lot soon. 

VAPEASDEADLY
Member

Thank you!

JonesCarpeDiem

You're welcome. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Janieh54
Member

24 hours down and I already feel strange kinda out of place but I’m determined to do this. I’m looking forward to that 130 day mark !

Giulia
Member
Barbscloud
Member

Welcome and congrats on commitment to quit smoking.  Stay close.

Barg

Tumbleweed1982

Thank You! This helped me out in a pinch, and I'm sure it will stick with me

SuzyQ411
Member

Hi JonesCarpeDiem‌.. I just read this great blog post via Giulia‌ 's reference under her profile. I had not read the whole post before although I am familiar with the the posts accessed by your links. This is great stuff and I wonder if you would consider posting it again? There are so many of us newbies that would benefit. In fact, I think it could be posted periodically as we seem to have new members coming in very frequently. Your years of experiences with your own quit and with helping others are priceless and so needed by we newbies. You have the ability to sway so many to stick with their quits due to your many years of personal experience and the help you've given others.

Hope you'll at least consider this?? 🙂

~Suzy

Jono28
Member

13 days in. Last 2 days have been the worst of the quit and hanging on by a thread...

JonesCarpeDiem

This is common. Give it another week and see how you feel. The preliminary period is 2-3 weeks

Tumbleweed1982

Just reread this and will revisit it frequently.  It really gets to me in the best way possible! Thank you!!!

indingrl
Member

 Dale

SuzyQ411
Member

Appreciated your blog post Dale. As the others have said, it helps us understand what is happening with our quits, not only in the present, but in the future as well. Today  am 3 months totally free of cigarettes. ( 91 days, and 1,365 cigarettes not smoked). So it seems I have about 6 weeks or so until I will be walking out of NML. That is a big relief for me and I will be overjoyed to reach that point and yet I understand there will be more work to do after that to maintain my quit. I believe I will always be addicted to nicotine; my job is to never again fuel that addiction by smoking.

diamond01
Member

Hi Dale, I am reading your posts again, and thanks so much for writing them, having a bad day, and love reading your posts. Thanks Helen.

About the Author
Hello, My name is Dale. I was quit 18 months before joining this site and had participated on another site during that time. I learned a lot there and brought it with me. I joined this site the first week of August 2008. I didn't pressure myself to quit. HOW I QUIT I didn't count, I didn't deny myself to get started. When I considered quitting (at a friends request to influence his brother to quit), I simply told myself to wait a little longer. No denial, nothing painful. After 4 weeks I was down to 5 cigarettes from a pack a day. The strength came from proving to myself, I didn't need to smoke because I normally would have smoked. Simple yes? I bought the patch. I forgot to put one on on the 4th day. I needed it the next day but the following week I forgot two days in a row I put one in my wallet with a promise to myself that I would slap it on and wait an hour rather than smoke. It rode in my wallet my first year.There's nothing keeping any of you from doing this. It doesn't cost a dime. This is about unlearning something you've done for a long time. The nicotine isn't the hard part. Disconnecting from the psychological pull, the memories and connected emotions is. :-) Time is the healer.