I love the support on this site and I certainly appreciate the different viewpoints, but I feel like I should address a few points in a comment I received the other night. Not because I’m upset by them, not in the least, but I think they deserve further insight which might be helpful to others.
* “Residual moments” of continued thought about smoking will lead you directly to relapse. *
I’m sorry that it was taken to mean ‘continued thought’ when what I said was ‘moments’. They weren’t lingering thoughts, they were moments of thoughts I hadn’t experienced in a while that were, no doubt, triggered by other moments I hadn’t had in a while.
*My question is why are you still thinking about it every day?*
Damned if I know. I’d love to know this myself because it *is* getting a little old. But every day I walk through the cloud on the sidewalk of my new work building and I have a “Hmm, I used to do that. I’m glad I don’t anymore” thought. That’s my general “I still think about it every day” moment. But even on days that I don’t work, smoking memories come up at least once a day. So there you go. I’m not at all sure why my brain hasn’t quite severed all the ties, and frankly I don’t care. In my blog about acceptance I accepted that I didn’t know how long these things would go on and it didn’t matter. And it doesn’t. One day I won’t think of it once. I just don’t know when that day is coming.
*What exactly are you thinking about - every day? After 523 days. Smoking? The possibility of smoking?*
Not a chance. Why? Because of this: “I just don't do anything about it.” I do not romance it. I do not consider it. N.O.P.E. It is not an option. I accept the thought and allow it to pass, and then I’m on to something else.
*But I also see a blog put out there in need of help to deal with this new set of surprise cravings. *
This is incredibly sweet, but I assure everyone it wasn’t a plea for help. When I need help I will come out and say it. It was an observation. No more and no less. It wasn’t even a craving to speak of. It was a “Oh yeah, I used to smoke at car shows” and that happened a few times over the course of a couple of hours. It was more exposure than I’d had in a long time. I’m still in the first two seasons so I wasn’t surprised by it and I certainly wasn’t put at risk over it.
*I would say you need to still relinquish your option to smoke. *
I can’t relinquish that option because it doesn’t exist.
So there you go. My original point was my surprise that one moment I hadn’t experienced in months could lead to others. Others might experience that. Those follow up moments do not mean you’re romancing it, or considering it. Only that sometimes a surprise pops out of the wood work. Vigilance!!!! LOL! (No, seriously - be vigilant.)
