Well, I blew it.

[kuki]

I decided not to use the patches I bought today...I just really want the poison out of my body ASAP, and the patch made me sick to my stomach last time I tried it, so I was scared of that.

I went to work, proceeded to stuff my face all day until I felt bloated and disgusting then decided to leave work an hour early, because I felt as if I was getting a bit too irritable and bitchy.  I must say my employees where GREAT...especially after I announced that if I did happen to bite someones head off and hurl it on the freeway, to not take it personally.  Then I came home, sat on the sofa with my knitting and boyfriend decided to sit down and bother me, asking me if I was mad at him, ect ect...and I said, no, I was trying to quit smoking and needed some space and he wanted to get into it, asking me why I was having a hard time, blah blah...and I just got up, went to the store and bought cigarettes.

Its just that non-smokers, who've never smoked before...have NO CLUE how difficult this is.  I also am finding that alot of these people have elitist attitudes about the fact that they never smoked and enjoy throwing it in my face, by making comments about how they hate smoke, smokers and smoking and want to go on and on about it.  Don't they know that we hate it too???  I mean, when someone says they are too fat and going on a diet, I don't say "Oh yeah, you should stop stuffing your face, you are fat, I hate fat people, eating donuts is gross."

I just really don't know how to deal with peoples bullcrap, especially when I am in the middle of trying to fight this off and do not have the energy to respond politely. 

Anyways...I'm just crabby as hell right now and very disappointed in myself.  Thanks for listening.

[molzep]

Bummer.  Sometimes it helps to have kind of a f__ attitude in a different way.  f___ him - he can't influence my quit!  Worked for me a couple times this quit!

Hope you get back on track!

[Mary84]

Dear Crabby, okay so you missed the mark today--don't beat yourself up.    Letting others get to us is one of our biggest stumbling blocks.    I love your "being fat" analogy and made me chuckle.     Okay so tomorrow is another day and another day to work on that thick skin we need to navigate this quitting journey.    Have your boyfriend read stuff on what it's like to quit smoking maybe that'll help.  Well getting sleepy so I need to go to bed.  Best for tomorrow.  Chin up and onward and upward.   Hugs, Mary

[kuki]

Thanks you guys.

[cathi4]

Pick yourself up, dust your self off and get back in the game. Just see this as a dry run practice for the real thing and you now know that one of your triggers is the people in your llife! Information is key. Look over Whyquit.com for the real lowdown and set up your plan again. You can do this, this really will not compare to other hard things you have done in the end! We can all do this. One day, One way! Never another puff. Minute by minute if necessary. Sixteen days, 6hours and 31 minutes and finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel!

[Breakinchains]

Chalk this one up as a bad day and move on. Tomorrow  will be a better  day. If it makes you feel better, go out, buy a cream pie, bring it  home and throw it at his face. A harmless way to have a little fun might break up the tension. I wish you all the best. Don't let anyone influence your quit.

[nicole]

My husband is a non smoker....and yes by that i mean he has never been addicted to smoking.   I think that they dont realize how hard it is like you said because they dont know the hold that it has on a person.  You can do this, its one second at a time in the beginning, really it is.  

[trica]

What you said...." Oh yeah, you should stop stuffing your face, you are fat, I hate fat people, eating donuts is gross."

That was sooo funny!!! Thank you!  I helps to laught too I use to check out the joke group,  It was very helpful my first few days/week/first two weeks.  Good luck to you!  You can do it!  Try again.

[patrick-marsh]

keep trying know what you are going through!as wife has never smoked tell to syt on it!you can do it your a strong pearson!

[joe57]

So after you get over being crabby and disappointed, I think you need to reflect on what you learned from this experience.  The Chantix company has sent me daily exercises and one of today's exercises/lessons is that for a while I need to avoid certain people and places that may be triggers.  So, if boyfriend cannot be supportive and understanding, maybe he should take a hike for a while until you're better able to deal with not smoking.  If he can't do that, then you should think about "is he really the one for you".  If he can't be supportive and understanding of the most important thing in your life, how can he be supportive, and understanding, and loving in others?  Just a thought.  This is not the time for you to give up because of other people.

[Bonnie11.3.2009]

Agree  with Joe, be really selfish for at least the next two weeks!  Take your time being down and get back up stronger. You will be successful as long as you keep working your quit.  You deserve your freedom!  Do it for you. Best Wishes!

[kuki]

Thanks everyone.  I actually am now on day 3, I quit again on the 31st.  Its really hard for me to be on the computer, because its a trigger.....just wanted to check in and let everyone know that I'm fightin!!!

[joe57]

I am so glad you are back kuki.  After your ordeal the other day, I was worried.  But you had such encouragement from others that I was hoping you wouldn't give up.  And you haven't.  I am now on day 2.  My last smoke was at 9PM on the 31st.  Too bad the computer can be a trigger - we love to hear from you.  Remember - "DON'T GIVE UP BEFORE THE MIRACLE".