Last week I was being quite brave with how I was acting while quitting smoking. This meant going to bars and going on long walks and pretty much just testing out my triggers to prove to myself that I could do those things without smoking. I posted about it last week and generally people thought this wasn't a good idea and that I shouldn't try to rush my quit. I'm compelled to agree with them and I decided to not try myself so much this week.
I can honestly say that week 3 has been really good. I still have cravings on a regular basis and they're becoming more and more inconsistent with how they long last. Sometimes they'll last 2 minutes, sometimes 15 minutes. In those times, I think about smoking, but I never think about going to the store and buying cigarettes or trying to pinch one off of someone. I really surprised myself the other day because I went to a corner store late at night to grab a few things, and buying cigarettes didn't even cross my mind until I was halfway home. I think it's getting to a point now where smoking is closer to an intrusive thought than a genuine desire. If I'm being honest with myself, I do miss smoking. But I am more proud of myself for going 3 weeks without it, and I hope that one day I'll stop missing it all together.
On a more positive note, physically I feel great. I'm breathing easier, I'm much less anxious, my chest doesn't hurt, my smokers cough is coming less and less, I have more energy, I'm more motivated and I just generally feel better about myself. I also didn't realise how much three weeks of quitting would affect my self esteem. The feeling that I'm making a monumental, incredibly difficult and positive change for myself is just a really rewarding feeling. Not smoking is getting easier every day.
