Haven't blogged in a few days. Tomorrow morning I get to wake up and realize I've made it through 2 weeks! Last time I quit it seemed the first 2 weeks were the hardest.
I've actually had a really easy go of it this time. (Praise to Jesus and God for being my strength). Last time I quit I don't remember it being this easy. Perhaps because I knew what to expect and knew how to prepare myself better.
I'm thankful for it! The past 3-4 days have been almost too easy. I think I keep waiting for something to hit me. I had a horrible fight with my best friend last night, something that would have normally sent me over the edge. (We don't fight very often, but when we do, the earth trembles!)
Quite honestly, I'm confused. I'm just waiting for something bad to happen. It wasn't this easy before. I honestly have no desire for a cig. Every now and then (rarely) it hits me.....but head in freezer and it's gone. I've tried to quit MANY times.....I'm honestly just lost right now. I prepared myself for a fight and it really hasn't been that much of a fight.
I know I should be happy, but in the back of my head I keep waiting for it to get hard. Like I need to keep preparing myself because this being easy is going to end.
Please don't take this as me bragging, because I'm not. I KNOW how hard it is to quit, I've done it before. I'm just seriously confused. I'm sitting here waiting for a fight that isn't coming. And I am honestly afraid to enjoy it. I'm prepared for battle, but the enemy isn't showing up. (The last few days). I'm afraid to let my guard down and quite frankly, I'm having a hard time being proud of myself for quitting.
This isn't what I expected. Please, if anyone else has done this, please respond. Or am I just one in a million that this has happened to?
