Waaa! Waaa! Waaa!

[snowdog]

Well, I blew it! I panicked big time! Lots of crying! I did not know if I should come on and say. I would not want to discourage anyone!!! I did not prepare well. I guess I thought my mind was made up and I would just wing my way through it with will power. I have no will power. I decided to blog because everyone here is brutally honest and I thought I should be too. I feel sad and lost and I don't know what to do next. Has anyone (I am sure there must be) here ever quit who deal with pain, physical pain, every day? I had gathered up all my sickorettes from their hiding places from a previous attempt and left them out for my husband to take. I woke up and was hurting and went two hours and I don't know who came up with this three minute deal because it was not that way for me. I guess I just woke up with a  bad attitude. After two hours I scrounged all over the house and found a pack I had hidden under the George Foreman grill in a drawer under the microwave (from the last time I tried to quit) and I blew it. When hubby came home I made him give me my smokes. He tried to tell me he threw them away but I knew he would not do that. I bawled and he gave me them to  me. They aren't even menthol which I like. They are non-menthol. (another stupid trick I thought would help me to quit.) There are only a few packs. I told him not to buy me any more. Where do I go from here? Sorry guys!!!

[elvan]

Snow, I am so sorry, really, I am.  I deal with chronic, debilitating pain every day, it has been one of the hardest parts of quitting and then I had to remember that smoking does not HELP the pain, it just distracts me from it and makes me feel bad about myself and makes it really hard to breathe.  I had to face that, I try to distract myself from my pain in other ways, believe me, I KNOW how hard it is.  I told someone the last time I failed that if I could get my pain under control, I was sure I could quit.  This isn't about "will power"...it's about asking for HELP before you smoke.  I really do not want to fail, I really do not want to be a smoker, I don't care how long the urge lasts, I want to be an ex MORE than I want to let nicotine win AGAIN.  You have to read all of the stuff recommended here, you have to pray...I do anyways, and you have to admit that smoking does NOT make your pain go away.  Please reach out and don't fall down again and let that demon win, we are here for you if you want us, you pushed us away and chose nicotine.  Every single person on this site needs every single OTHER person on this site.  You can do this snow...if I can do it, anyone can.  This was a horrible day, terrible pain, a lot caused by stress and a lot because I am too hard on myself physically but, in any event, I didn't smoke and I have another day to stack up...start over.  Message someone, me if you want, I am not always on but there are so many really good people here, "elders" with lots of experience.  Still love you.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

if your husband is not a smoker and you didn't get rid of every pack in the house, you set yourself up to fail. You can't put it on your husband for not knowing about the pack under the george foreman grill.

there is no emergency that requires smoking so no need for an emergency pack.

blue in the face here

[Barbara145]

Sorry you lost your quit.  Craves dont last more than 3 minutes unless we fixate on the thought.  The opposite would be to distract.  I lost a quit 11 years ago for the same reason.  You can do this just get back up on the horse.

[snowdog]

Thank you Elvan!!! I really appreciate that today!!! Messed up-literally. I have been praying for many years about this. It is weird because so many of my other prayers have been answered. I know though that it really is me not answering not Him!!! Dale, is that all you have for me? I am thankful for your thoughts though! I am absolutely not blaming my husband!!! He is a smoker. He smokes even more than I do. He has quit though before twice and I did not so this time he is waiting until after I do. He is very supporting. It really wasn't an emergency pack-just left-overs. Why are you blue in the face?

[Sootie]

Snow---ok....you cried...now time to REALLY throw them away and get on with this. You know you want to. Quitting takes work. It is not easy. Craves last three minutes or four minutes or whatever....who cares? However long they last.....YOU are going to see this through.

I am sorry that you have to deal with physical pain every day. No---I don't know what that is like and I imagine it takes a great deal of strength to get through that. So-----we know you have strength. USE IT TO QUIT. I am sure cigarettes are not helping your pain. cigarettes are good for nothing......NOTHING!

Stay Strong.

[snowdog]

Thank you Barbara!!! My first thought is can someone give me a saddle but part of me just wants to stand in front of the horse!

[moody_9-18-13]

I agree with Dale. BTW, you asked me to give you advice...don't ask me again. You ignored the love I sent your way.

[snowdog]

You are so right Sootie!!! I guess tomorrow is a new day and from the sound of people I should not set a new quit date but just grit my teeth tomorrow. I literally was gritting my teeth this morning though for sure. It did not help! Thanks for not giving up on me or kicking me out!!!

[maria86]

No need to apologize to us, rather forgive yourself and get back on the horse. Ahh you want to talk about moods just do so here, better than the other. You know the deal. Really sorry you are in pain, try to be gentle with yourself when you are not well. Xoxo

[snowdog]

Moody! I was just joking with Dale FOR SURE!!! I guess I have an odd sense of humor! I thought Dale did too!!! I am most certainly going and do apologize right now if I have offended him or anyone!!! I do not understand why you are upset with me. You sent me a message and I did exactly what you said and I sent you a message right back. Did you not get it??? Moody, I would never ignore any love or advice. Please don't be upset with me!!!

[snowdog]

Thank you Maria!

[YoungAtHeart]

I'm glad you now understand there is no willpower involved in quitting.  You make a decision, you honor that commitment you make to yourself - PERIOD!

Here are the materials to help you get ready for your next attempt:  You also need to change up your routine and the places you always smoked.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand, in a different room.  Or - take a shower or take a quick walk as soon as you wake up - or take your coffee to the computer and read the blogs and responses here.  You need to make NEW associations for the old, smoking ones.  Trying to quit while doing it all the same as when you smoked is a recipe for failure.  This quit needs preparation, planning and some work - but it IS doable!

The most important thing you can do  is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your mind and body. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

After you have completed the readings, it will be time to make your next quit plan, including what quit aid , if any, you will use, and the crave busters you think will work for you. Then you can approach your quit day with a plan in place.  

Stay close to us here and ask questions as you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[Strudel]

Okay  - Here's the deal - you don't need will power! That's what messed me up for so long - thinking that I did. This is about making a decision that smoking is giving you NOTHING! It isn't helping with pain, it isn't relieving stress, it isn't doing anything positive for you! You only THINK it is. So, if you can change the way you think about it - and you can realize that you don't NEED it - you won't need will power at all! Really!

I don't remember - did you do the reading to prepare? If you didn't - do it!! Please! If you did it - do it again! Now! And - set a date (ASAP) and get rid of all cigarettes! You smoked for 40 years - I smoked for 40 years - I did this, you CAN do this! 

Read the free course at - http://quitsmokingonline.com/ and Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" - http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

[joyeuxencore]

Hello baker of doggie treats!!!!

I always post this because it is true for everyone:

It takes the mindset that we aren't giving up anything...we are doing it because we want to and not signing up for a lifetime of deprivation but a lifetime of freedom...that is the personal journey no one can take for us...We will be here for you every step of the way!

"YOU are worth SO MUCH MORE than a cigarette""Act with integrity in the moment of choice"

[Sootie]

Snow---the decision is yours but my opinion is NO! Do not "set" a new quit date........jump right back in. Nothing is going to change by March 17th or March 22nd or April 1st........

C'mon------you CAN do this and you know you sooooooooooooooooo want to. YOU CAN!

Stay Strong.

[snowdog]

Thanks Youngat heart!!! You are so right about making new associations!!! You guys are right about doing the reading too!!! I started it but time got away from me. Thanks Kathy!!! I will go and finish the book! I sure do appreciate all your encouragement!!! Thank you joyeuxencore for the awesome motivation!!!  Sootie, I think you are right, that is why I changed my quit date from March eleventh to March first. You guys are a very special group of people!!! Thank you so much for all of your help and advice!!! I wish nothing but the best for every single one of you!!!

[Giulia]

As you said - you did not prepare well.  Very simple:  Strong preparation makes for a strong quit.  You study, you learn what to expect, you learn how to deal with what is about to come, and you use that knowledge accordingly.  Granted all our journeys are different to some extent.  But the wisdom and advice of those who have the experience behind them will help you if you heed them.  

If there are hiding places for old cigarettes physically in your home, there will be hiding places mentally in your mind.  You must get rid of both in order to succeed in this endeavor. You can't hide from your addiction, you must first face it then eradicate it.  Obliterate it.  Make it a non option.  You haven't yet chosen not to smoke.  You've chosen the hope of not smoking.  There's a big difference.  When you understand that, you'll move forward in commitment.  And quitting  has much more to do with commitment than willpower.

And yeah, I was surprised and NOT delighted by the fact that cravings lasted more than the "THREE MINUTES" I was told about.  But actually I think they really do last only three minutes.  The problem is they can come in waves.  So you have one three minute craving right after the next.  Like sets of waves.  And those waves can take a LONG time before they calm down.  BUT they DO calm down.  And the tide goes out and then comes back in and the wind blows and the waves come up.  That's what's so.  Learn to ride them.  Becoming an expert surfer takes work.  If you're willing to do it, you'll find you can ride them with ease.  KEEP ON!

[snowdog]

Thanks Giulia! I needed to hear all that!!!

[wishingstar]

Hi Snow. I am glad you came here evan though It might take more then once to quit. Others might disagree. I have authrituis in in lower back and raddits to my hips and legs, and few other health problems.

But what we must understand is that cigerats only make them worse they are not healing anything. Its the addict in us that makes us think, they do something when they really don't . Distraction is a big key and what are you going to do when the crave hits. Make a list . I like to blog out crave, clean, listen to music. So many things. one of the best one is deep breaths . For stronger ones. I use gum or mints fallowed with water. find what works for you

Don't give up keep trying  

[JonesCarpeDiem]

what Guilia said about the three minute cravings coming in waves?

You must break up those waves.

This is why I've always recommended the shock treatments.

1. Stick your head in the freezer and breathe the cold air. Visualaizing yourself doing this should stop the crave long enough to get it to leave your mind.

2. Bite into a lemon, skin and all. The sourness will get your attention immediately. The bitterness of the rind is something we don't normally experience.

3. Fill your mouth with ice cubes. You can't help but get your mind on avoiding brain freeze with a mouth full of ice cubes.

4. Learn to laugh out loud. It releases dopamine and when you "HEAR" yourself, it throws your brain into a different gear.

[moody_9-18-13]

Linda, I am sorry that I snapped at you last night. I'm not mad at you. I've been going through some frustrations of my own lately and last night I was tired and should have just gone to bed early! I was trying to understand why you did not take advice from the people who have been there and know that you are not likely to keep your quit if you don't do the readings.  

If you are prepared, if you know what to expect and you know what you will do when you have craves that come in waves, you will be ready for them. 

You can't keep any sickorettes around. Saying you want to quit is one thing, being committed to quitting is another. So, make the promise to yourself to not allow even one sickorette near your face, then honor your promise. You CAN quit and I know you want to be free from needing a nicotine fix all the time.

Stick close here and read Dale's and G's blogs. Ask for help before you go down that road and smoke again. Please get back in the saddle and make sure you ask for help before you smoke.  

Love and hugs,

Moody