Two things made me realize that I am not going to be a slave to anything. I developed a head cold and the cigarettes really agravited a cough so badly I couldn't smoke. And the headache was sickening. I decided to try and stop the insanity of being a slave to this addiction. Then I got word that a freind who I really cared deeply for, had copped out on everybody and betrayed me. I was real hurt, but disgusted at the same time and went into a whirlwind of "whys". Anger, guilt, coughing, sneezing, headeaches, head trips....all this crap I brought on myself through addiction to cigareetes and a person. What a freakin waste!!!! Ones a physical addiction, the other a mental addiction. What a joke! Screw them. I am better than both so I am going on a double mission. No tobacco and NO con artists! I will not be a slave to the Marlboro man!! No matter whta form it takes.
Its working and I am getting constructive and creative and breathing fresh air. I am in the Pacific Northwest and I have an advantage of having clean air and being able to breathe it! And I am doing it. I am back bike riding. Walking 3 or 4 times a day. Being around cigarettes but NOT buying any or asking for any. I am eating alot, good foods and fruit. Can't hurt me. I am skinny by nature and could really use some extra pounds. And I love to cook and now its even better. I am a photographer and my creativity has sparked into a new direction when I had taken a walk in the fog in the park after wishing for a cigarette. I started getting some great night shots and I have a whole new series of photos to work on. And I began thinking that that freind of mine really has no bearing on my life. I know that I meant well and if he couldnt see or deal with that, thats too bad. I am better than that. I will still live by my truths, but will do it nicotine free!
To everyone who is quitting tobacco. Today, tommorow, next week, next year, whenever. Just know that life is good. We dont need anything that is detrimental to our lives. Get rid of all the negativity and KNOW that you CAN!! Build your charactor by making people smile. Just being able to spark positivity in another person without the expectation of anything back is the key to our existance. And anything, especially a cigarette, that can complicate and prevent us from being good, is NOT something we need in our lives. And when you realize how much extra money you are saving, you will realize how stupid smoking is. And if you give in and take a couple of drags or even a whole one, wait till you see how sickening THATS going to feel like. So sometimes having a "taste" of the old life is good to reinforce our positive goal for the future. A personal reminder.
Give what you can of yourself. Be constructive and creative. Accomplish much. Live in the moment! Strive for peace smoke-free!!! Good luck to you all!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!
Gary
