Venting

[liberty4422]

I originally became a member on this site because the reviews were great. All about support, but I posted once about how I slipped. I got a couple negative people that said I need to restart. Well I haven't been on the site since. I need people to support me. I have since relapsed but that's ok. Because now I know that I don't think I can quit, I know I can quit. But I don't need this site to do that. I have trouble quitting, but I will get through this. Thank you for the few supportive people on here. The others though need to think before posting. People struggle, slip and fall backwards. Because rarely anyone ever quits the first time they try. When I try again to quit it will be my 5th time trying.

[kristen-9-7-15]

If you slip, you need to restart your count.  I think that's all anyone ever says.  At least that's how I feel and probably most people on here feel.  You smoke a puff, you start your count over.  Simple as that.  You can't smoke a cigarette at, lets say day 59 and then tomorrow you start your quit again and its day 60.  No, it is day 1.  I slipped many times.  I think a lot do, but I always restart my quit clock/count. 

[constanceclum]

Of all the people here, there are only a couple that will post negative comments over a relapse. All experts agree that it takes many attempts at quitting before the forever quit. I have had many relapses and I know that I only really have today that I can choose to not smoke. Everyone here says take what you need and leave the rest because most people here will only treat you with encouragement and support as well as love. I would never think of quitting smoking without this site as I don't have much support at home.

Connie

[elvan]

Welcome (back) to the site.  I don't know how long ago you were here or what exactly happened, I do know that no one means to hurt anyone here.  I can tell you that I was a serial quitter, I have no idea how many failed quits I had and I am always in awe of people who quit and then come back to say they relapsed, not knowing what kind of reception they will get.  I repeat, no one means to hurt anyone, I think we all have different approaches to support and many people believe very strongly in tough love because it worked for them.  I have never been any good at it because I am not good at tough anything.  I am tougher on myself than anyone else here or anywhere. I may not be doing anyone any favors.  If I have ever hurt anyone's feelings here, I think they know me well enough to know that it was not intentional. I do hope that you will quit with us supporting you.  I hope you will make a quit kit and figure out why your other quits failed...it helps to be prepared.  I love your attitude, "I know I can quit."  I tried so many times and when I found EX, I made a quit kit, I did the tracking, I read everything I could get my hands on and I had a failed quit.  I didn't come back for quite a while, I am not sure exactly how long it was but this last time was because I was slam dunked by my COPD and I really had no choice.  All of my failed quits came back to mind and this site came back to mind.  I pulled out my quit kit and my tracking journal and I knew that, for ME, it was now or never.  I did not want to see the fear in the faces of my family members again.  I was scared enough myself.  Gasping for breath is horrendous and not getting relief from any of the "usual" methods is terrifying.  I don't want to relive that nor would I wish it on anyone else.  If someone says something that offends you, you can direct message them and tell them, I suspect you will be surprised that they will, in most cases, apologize.  No one WANTS you to fail, for any reason.  We all want you to be successful and to help those who are following you to be successful as well.  I did not see a quit date, not sure if you plan to quit with us but there are some amazing resources here that helped me.  I would suggest looking at JonesCarpeDiem‌ 's page and reading "what to expect the first 140 days." and looking at YoungAtHeart‌ 's page and "100 things to do instead of smoking."  Also read Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking."  I cannot tell you that I found it easy but there were some things in that book that I really related to.  My favorite acronym was N.O.P.E.   Not One Puff Ever...I must have said nope a hundred times a day but it touched something for me. There are people here on their first days and some who have been here for over 11 years, there are all different perspectives and points of view, the one thing we all have in common is our desire to stay smoke free and to help others.

Let us know what we can do to help you.

Ellen

[liberty4422]

I have been going through a smoking cessation class. They way they were taught is if you slip you keep counting your days like nothing happened, because it was a slip. When you make a mistake at your job, you Dont start all over. You pick up and keep going. But relapsing is when you start the count over. Becauaw you keep smoking after one. 

[liberty4422]

Thank you for the support. I will keep your tips in mind. I have not set a new quit date, but have lessened the cigarettes have during the day. I'm thinking this will be my last pack. So im hoping for over the weekend to quit. Tough love isn't good for me. I have enough people in my life that does that. I want caring people who will be there for me, and any progress i make

[kristen-9-7-15]

However you want to count your days, count them. This is your quit.  My "job" is not an addiction, it is a job. I will not die making a mistake at my job.  Smoking a cigarette is feeding the addiction therefore if you smoke just one you fed the addiction and the nicotine is now in your body again = Relapse. 

Again, this is your quit, your health, your life.  Whatever gets you to stay quit is the important part.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I am very happy that you felt you could come here and vent.  Unless you erased it I do not see anything that indicates that someone was not helpful to you.  Our addiction has a tendency for us to take things the wrong way especially if we are on a defense about our quit.  I prreviously suggested some reading material to educate yourself about nicotine addiction.  Have you done any of the reading?  Have you used any of the tools on the website to get started?  I hope you set a quit date soon.  We are here to support you.  Unfortunately different cessation programs have different guidelines.  We encourage NOPE.  Not one puff ever and if you smoke you are no longer smokefree/quit.  It is up to you to decide whether to be honest with yourself that you are smoke free or not.   

[Mandolinrain]

Great to see you are here. SO many of us, including myself had numerous failed quits. I was so very hard on myself and so embarrassed to return here, but I am ever so glad I did and so grateful for the advice I received here and everyone who helped me understand WHY i kept failing. We are here for you. As Ellen says, I truly don't feel anybody on this site ever intends to hurt anyone. We are all of many backgrounds and personality...having struggles in different areas of our life as we work through this addiction. So sometimes things may sound a bit more stern from one person to the next but honestly.....they are sharing what helped them. They care about you or they would not bother to comment. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  People need to lighten up and forgive and move on. 

What helped them may not help you.

Thats where you have to take what will help you and leave the rest....

Nobody needs to be mean to anyone on this site and if that happens, they should be reported because none  of us should be treated with disrespect.

I wish you well. I like your attitude and so very glad you are back. Hugs~Missy

[gregp136]

I don't recall seeing your post.  I am new here, though.  Welcome to the group, and lets all do this together!

[Jennifer-Quit]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/liberty4422/blog/2017/02/15/relapse

Here is the link Greg.  Personally I don't see anything negative or offensive.  Perhaps some comments were deleted?

[bonniebee]

Sorry you are leaving us . This is how it works here , Not one puff ever ....N.O.P.E. it is a little tough but it has given me the incentive not to ever go back to day one by taking that puff . Just the idea of losing all of those days because of one puff is like a nightmare to me !  

I wish you would stay but do what you must do for your quit . 

[Sootie]

I wanted to read your post but could not find it. That may be my lousy computer skills. In any case......no one on this site posts with the intention of being negative. We are not Counselors........we are fellow quitters so we speak our opinions....what worked for us and what we believe in. No one "forces" you to have the same opinion......you are entitled to yours as we are entitled to ours. Your quit is yours.

[Jennifer-Quit]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/liberty4422/blog/2017/02/15/relapse

Here is the link Sootie - not bad as far as I can see