Definitely ready for this to be over . I am missing going somewhere , hey anywhere , missing people , missing conversation, and grocery shopping , yet grateful I have here , the Ex and you ( thanks for listening , for sharing , for inspiration ) . Grateful for video calls ( took a drive in the mountains yesterday with my son ) I'm grateful for a new grocery delivery service run by medical students for PID patients cause I'm getting hungry , bored hungry lol . I'm bored a lot these days , seems no use , yet much I could do , but why bother . I am tired of tired , tired of all dressed up and nowhere to go , or just in casuals all day , tired because it's 4:36 and I've only slept an hour tonight . Why ! Why ! Why ! Lol . Days are long enough , now night too lol Why ! Oh why !
Oh I am tired of complaining , but sometimes a good vent makes me appreciate what I do have even more .It could be worse . Grateful for what I have but sad we are all hurting , strong in my belief we can get through this ....yet times
I want to throw in the towel and take risks but then I think of the people I might make sick so I stay home with my music , with me , myself , I , and the poochie which doesn't talk either . She doesn't even bark . I'm grateful cause that could be worse 
I miss the outside world no doubt about it but I know I'm not alone in that . We all do . Grateful I think for the first time ever , for this week I will be going to the hospital again for my monthly port flush and blood work , grateful for lousy veins because had I had good ones wouldn't need the port and the port flush has go be looked after , so hey for the first time in a month 3rd in three I get out a bit .. at least a drive to and from the hospital and not just for a short walk while doggie pees n poops , which btw you can laugh but I'm grateful for that cause all this bending to pick it it up and dispose of it is giving me exercise lol but .....soon that will end cause pup will be going home lol and she'll have her own yard to poop in , and as far as port flushes , ( not potty flushes ) they will send someone out to do that or me but I will be grateful for that too , cause cause one day I will not be getting younger . At that stage I may need diapers . Age has a thing about catching up , yet going back in time .
Oh this has been fun hasn't it lol . Thanks for ( bearing) with me lol . I'm grateful I remembered the old Q vent tent , it sure came in handy tonight at 5:09 a.m. Tic tock.
Now clocks ..lol they used to help me sleep but , I'm grateful , now we have cell phones . Ok I'll stop ... now see I just made you grateful ( jus kidding ) but I made you smile ... I think , I hope .
Isn't being grateful better than being grumpy ...... Oh today is going to be a good day . I will get an afternoon nap in
Last thought ... a 1/2 hour and to go and I'll smell the coffee perkin and how grateful I am I have had my morning coffee ...without cigarettes ...
for 8 years 11 months and counting .
Life is good
If you need to vent too today go ahead , it's all good , it's healthy sometimes , but remember stay grateful , stay safe , stay quit .
Odaat
We will get through .
