The smell of tea steeping is surrounding me as I type this. The tea seems to help calm me sometimes. I had insomnia again last night. I kept sitting there thinking about smoking. Maybe it was because I had taken a nap earlier, or because I was thinking about my vacation coming up this weekend. Whatever the reason, I ended up staying awake till two am again. I didn’t write, I just read on the blogs and kept reminding myself why I quit 18 days ago.
I am hoping that this little vacation is just what the doctor ordered. Four days in California. A change of scenery and a great environment not to smoke in may just be the ticket to get my mind off of things. It has been a really big week in some ways. My project from work got the official green light from our Parent company today. We are having dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight to celebrate. After a year of planning and meeting and design work, construction will begin this spring.
The work I have done getting this project off the ground has been difficult to say the least. I logged more travel miles this year for work than ever. Hopefully that will change this year as I stay in one place and get to focus on getting my plant up and running. It still scares me about the smoking because I know there are going to be times that I will be really stressed about deadlines, the budget, deliveries, meeting expectations…all of which are the kind of triggers that have caused me to smoke in the past.
One foot in front of the other, I will not smoke today, maybe tomorrow, but not today.
