Trying to beat the demon

[luvmykids2]

New to this and just trying to find some help with quitting.  I've smoked since I was 14 and am now 47.  I've attempted to quit several times in the last two years and can't seem to beat the demon.  My boyfriend HATES smoking so I have told him that I quit on numerous occasions.  Still sneaking them while I am at work and not around him.  I believe that if he catches me again our relationship is in jeopardy of being over, (smoking is a deal breaker for him).  STILL can't seem to quit despite my love for  him.  He has never smoked and doesn't understand the addiction.  I really just want to be done with this.

[lynette9]

All right. I hear you say "boyfriend" and "kids". What about you??? YOU????? YOU are the one who's important here. YOU are the one who will quit and stay quit by your own choice FOR YOURSELF!!

First, get a plan. Do your homework. Many of us here go to www.whyquit.com and www.quitsmokingonline.com and if you go to Strudel's page you can download Alan Carr's Easy way to quit smoking. All free, btw. Just type "strudel" in the box at the right and go to her page.

Honey, you've come to the right place as there'll be lots of fantastic people here to help you. But you really need to focus on YOU. This is about YOU. And since your BF doesn't understand the addiction, you are an addict, btw, like all of us, you'll need to come here and blog your feelings.

Get a foundation. Do your homework. Set a quit date and have a quit kit handy. Know what to expect. Arm yourself with knowledge! YOU can do this!!!!

[lynette9]

Also, if you fill out your page a little and let us know a little more about yourself, we can support you better.

How much did you smoke? How long? Etc.....just a little about YOU.

As wife and mother, we tend to lose the focus of ourselves.......

[mike219]

Welcome  This is where you can settle the score. It will take a little hard work and a little re learning but there are many friends here that have put this addiction behind them for good. Read a lot and post often. You will have many friends here to help you. Mike 

[heather118]

I agree with Lynette. As mothers we really do take the focus off ourselves and we put ourselves on the back  burner. But this isnt about your BF, it is all about you and what you need and want.  Let him know you really need positive feedback from him and his undying support if he really wants to help you quit. Having a great support system is one of the most important things we all need to quit and stay quit. If you ever need to chat, I am here. I will keep you in my thoughts! 🙂   Just keep smiling and know you can do this that your not alone!!!

[angel63]

I started smoking when I was 13 years old and I met my husband when I was 14 years old and he has never smoked. I was constantly trying to quit smoking because HE hated it and it always failed b/c I smoke when he was not around. I was not fooling anyone he COULD smell it. The worst part is I resented him sometimes b/c I felt like I had to quit b/c of him!

This time around I am doing it for me. I REALLY wanted to quit for my self and I have succeded! I have been smoke free since 1/30/11.

You will only succede if you want to do it for your self, so search deep in you heart and find all the reasons YOU want to quit, if you have none look at web sites and you find reasons to quit for yourself. Then consider your BF and kids as supporting reasons to quit.

[anacondahead]

You're trying to quit for him and that doesn't work. You're trying to quit for your kids and that doesn't work.

Quit for you.

But you really have to WANT to quit. A half-assed attempt will fail.  When you want to quit MORE than you want to smoke, you will. Not before.  Best wishes to you. Let us know how you are doing.

I have 30+ years of a pack a day and I am currently 600+ days smoke free and I LOVE IT! You will, too. Join us. You can't afford not to. 33 years is enough smoking.

[luvmykids2]

Wow!  Thanks for all of your support!  I know it's about me and not about the BF or the kids.  It's just that I have always put myself last, that's what good wives and mothers do.  I really want to do it for me but have a hard time fighting when the brain is telling me all the reasons why I want to smoke.  I am down to about 5 cigarettes a day (from a pack + a day), but just the knowledge that tomorrow I will be able to smoke helps me keep my sanity.  It's just too depressing to think that I won't ever be able to smoke again.  I hate this addiction.  But I also hate being sneaky and lieing about it.  I have tried to quit so many times and always give in.  I don't understand why I can't find the strength to just stop.  I think that those of you who have done it are amazing.  Somehow I have got to find that thing that made you successful.