Trouble returning to working without wanting a cigarette

[rilokitty]

I don't know how to help myself and don't want to lose my job. I'm working from home due to the pandemic. I was fine, doing my work during the pandemic, when I was still smoking. Then I quit smoking. I just stayed in bed for a few days on a 3 day weekend so I wouldn't have to deal with the cravings. Then I actually got the "Smoker's Flu" that lasted for almost 3 days and called out sick. But, anyway, so I was in bed a lot at first. But that hasn't changed enough.

I have 2 months smober now (how???? I won't question it. But you all helped me a lot in those moments where I needed help, when I was still waking up for my 2am cigarette, when I was questioning if I've really quit) and for these past two months I've not been 100% at work. At all. And some things I've been really letting pile up. Y'all. I need to get it together.

But when I really start trying to be 100% again, I keep getting cigarette cravings, and that's why, I then back off, and avoid work. I've changed WHERE I work in the house, that's something I hadn't thought of, that helped a little. I put up little things like "I don't make promises, I make commitments" on the wall, but I'm not that rad kinda chick who lays down the law, makes a decision never looks back, leaves flames in her footprints... I am meek in the face of quitting smoking. It is so hard. I was slave to it for so long. I've failed many times. It scares me.

I can't power through cravings and keep typing away at the computer doing my calculations and e-mails and all this crazy multi-tasking and testy e-mails from people that make me go "ugggh," I just can't, I instead deal with a sudden craving by going and laying face down on the couch, avoid, avoid, avoid. Or I go eat handfuls of semi-sweets and avoid, avoid, avoid. I don't know what to do. 

I need to help myself here because I can't quit smoking and lose a job over it. I just don't know how to help myself. Do I need a routine? What do I need to do? The two were so connected:

Work butt off, reward with cigarette, get stressed and need relief, dull with cigarette, start to get worn out, recharge with cigarette. 

How can I stay in my safe, cigarette-free zone but get back to giving my job my all? This is so frustrating! 

[Cousin-Itt]

Try getting up and walking outside for a few minutes A couple deep breaths of fresh air.  Try replacing the Semi Sweets with Frozen Grapes. I'm a firm believer of fresh air    Stay strong   

Carl

[sweetplt]

I will tell you the “reward cigarette” was my toughest pull...rilokitty ... I am a housewife and I would reward myself with a cigarette every time I got some done or accomplished, even with my volunteer, and/or church groups...how I got past it...in the beginning I couldn’t stop in order to reward me...then I started giving me rewards, by taking a brisk walk, do breathing exercises, etc., you have to come up with other rewards, however for a bit you may not be able to break because of missing that smoke...I hope others will give you help that work a job...You have 2 months of freedom and I don’t want to see you lose it and/or your job...~ Colleen 738 DOF 

[YoungAtHeart]

The first thing I would recommend is this slow/deep, relaxing breathing exercise that you can use any time you start to feel stressed and thus revert to your smoker's stinkin' thinkin'! 

Keep a cold bottle of water close at hand at all times from which to sip.  Can you play some background music on your computer as you work?  Find some meditation style, or nature sounds, or even lively tunes for when you need a pick-me-up.  Might you even make a playlist for certain times of the day or things to listen to when you are stressed, or frustrated? One of my favorite ticked off tunes (caution - MATURE audiences, only!!!): 

Maybe keep some bubble gum to chomp on to take out some of that anger?  You might also  invest in a punching bag with some of your savings from not smoking and lay into it as needed.  While you wait for it to arrive, you can always cuss into or pound a pillow into submission!  You might also take breaks and march in place, or do a set of stairs, or some jumping jacks.  Any of those things will reduce stress, give you a hit of dopamine, while invigorating your blood flow.  Sitting all day long is not healthy, either!

[elvan]

All great suggestions. I really think you need to move around, set a schedule for yourself, when to start working, when to take a break then return to work. Bite into a lemon, rind & all. It will reset your thinking, drink water, go outside, breathe, l ate Sour Patch Kids which reset MY brain. You CAN do this, you have already come so far. You certainly don’t want to lose your quit. Take the power away from those craves...push through them  & then congratulate yourself.

Ellen

[Trisha76]

I had to learn to talk back to these cigarette cravings. NOPE (not one puff ever ) was a great one and I still do that to this day along with the breathing. I did not realize that I was able to change my thinking by talking back and saying no I do not smoke etc. to that little voice that kept saying I need a cigarette!

[indingrl]

Thanks for sharing - grab a lemon when a crave HITS bite into it peel and all

[Barbara145]

Two months is great.  I suffered like you appear to be suffering.  I promise it gets better.  Dale said to say to yourself, "I don't do that anymore."  It really helps.  Every time you are badly craving say it.  It is a great therapy.  I quit 7 years go.  There is nothing better than being a non-smoker.  You can do this.  Another thing that always helped me was a quick little walk,  Take care.

[Barbscloud]

I know this is tough.  When I was working, I could get away from a stressful situation by going outside and having a cigarette.   So, I'm thinking, it wasn't  just the cigarette.  I was able to remove myself for a few minutes and refocus my thinking.  I like Ellen's ideas of creating a schedule.  Schedule a break and step away from your computer for a few minutes---go outside, do your deep breathing, walk around the house, etc.   Stick to the schedule when work is good or bad.  Creating new associations is important.  

What tools did you identify to help with your cravings?   Have you tried chewing on straws?   It really helped me a lot.   I'd even keep some in my car.  

And a big congrats on 2 months.  Don't lose sight of what a success you are.  

Barb

[lied2myself]

Rilokitty CONGRATULATIONS! 
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Even non smokers get frustrated with WoRk! They call it WORK for a reason...sometimes it just sucks! Here’s what I would do when I was in your shoes...and it may work for you...if you didn’t used to smoke inside your home...if you usually went outside for your smokey tokey to relieve your stress, then keep going to that space for stress relief...only stay there for your same amount of minutes you would normally stay. Instead of actually lighting up and smoking, sip on a bottle of water, chomp on an apple. If you stood up and walked around while smoking, do the same while doing something healthy for your body. If you sat down and wagged your foot back and forth while you smoked, do the same while eating your apple slices with caramel dip or drinking your water. The key is for you to let your mind take THAT BREAK FROM THE WORK. You are tricking your body into thinking it’s still a smoke break but in reality it’s a work/stress break.

[SuzyQ411]

YoungAtHeart‌

Great advice Nancy!!! I feel better already ~ the song is what worked the best for me~ Suzy

[SuzyQ411]

rilokitty‌

I can just feel your stress and your angst.

And, as I read the great suggestions in the above posts. it came to me that if you wrote them all as a list into a notebook to keep handy or posted them on the wall behind your computer where they are readily visible, you may find it helpful to actually use these "gifts" that your family here at the Ex have given to help you get over this hurdle.

In time, things WILL get better BUT right now, it is what it is. TOUGH. Give the suggestions a chance and open your mind to the strong possibility that they WILL help you!

I'm sending positive vibes that you will get a handle on this AND be able to do your work. 

Wishing you the best.

~Suzy

[YoungAtHeart]

SuzyQ411 

A friend sent me a link to that song after a bad break-up, and used to sing it at the top of my lungs every morning when I got to work (I liked to get in early - usually around 6:30 AM - before anybody else -  so I had a couple of hours of  uninterrupted work time).

Cathartic!

[SuzyQ411]

I could sense the cathartic benefit as I listened to the rant Nancy YoungAtHeart‌.... it actually calmed me, lol... I used to go to work early for the same reason (not to sing but to get in some good uninterrupted work time)... I am SOOO glad I am retired; I had a fantastic and interesting career but I am so over it now 

[YoungAtHeart]

SuzyQ411 

ME, too!!!

Loved my job - love NOT working even more!!!

[rilokitty]

I'm going to definitely have to try frozen grapes, thanks -Jamie 

[rilokitty]

Thank you for the advice, I need to keep my walking shoes next to me

[rilokitty]

That's what I'm needing! That hit of dopamine! 

[rilokitty]

Thanks for the suggestion and the positive vibes, Suzy. I have to take action. 

[rilokitty]

I just cannot imagine biting into a lemon. I'm going to do it at a certain point thought because I'm in no man's land now and need all the help i can get. 

[rilokitty]

You've tried to tell this to me before and I didn't listen. Looks like I'll need to add lemons to my shopping list. I'm desperate now and have to take action. 

[rilokitty]

Yes, Thank you, "I don't do that anymore." I forgot to keep saying that to myself. I've read I'm in "No Man's Land" right now and it looks like I have at least 2 more months of it. That is too long to not gather some plans and tips and tricks to help me function. 

[rilokitty]

Thank you for replying. Incense. I light a lot of incense. I do need to set a schedule and have reminders on my phone throughout the day. Something, anything to add to a collection of tips to keep me nicotine-free while I'm in no man's land. - Jamie

[rilokitty]

I like tricking my body!!! Thank you so much. Tricking my body seems to work better than anything else. Any other ideas to trick my body/mind? -Jamie

[YoungAtHeart]

When a crave hits, how about thinking, "oh, boy!  ANOTHER sign I am freeing myself from this nicotine slavery!  Bring it ON!"

or

"I am now one crave closer to being free - YES!"

Or - have you ever tried just surfing the crave, identifying it for what it is, knowing the longest it should last is about three minutes.  Take slow, deep breaths as it crescendos and decreases.

The cravings should be getting fewer and further apart now - except for maybe a random intense one  Use your tools.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your head unchallenged.  MOVE!

Mandolinrain‌ used a Vicks inhaler to short-circuit a crave -you might try that.

Just throwing lots of ideas at you - try them ALL - one might be the one that works for YOU!

This quit journey is a war - and you fight it one battle at a time.

This WILL get easier - as long as you work at dealing with your emotions in a different way than smoking...that's what the journey now is all about.

You are DOING this - how cool is THAT?!!!

[elvan]

I could not imagine it either but l had a bag of lemons waiting for me. Can you imagine cleaning a dirty ashtray with your tongue? The thought of either one makes me shiver.  You can do this, please BELIEVE that the intensity of the craves you are having will pass, it will get easier if you let it.

♥Ellen

[Mandolinrain]

Yes Vicks. I used that ointment under my nose and even went as far as to carry the Vicks inhaler when I left the house. It killed my craves instantly!