I’m excited and nervous. My biggest issues are triggers. I first started smoking when I was in a terrible relationship. When we fought It would calm me down, clear my mind and help me think logically through our fights, and made things better ( I thought ) it didn’t. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer I started smoking all of the time. I tried to quit several times and always failed when she would have to go to the hospital or would tell me she didn’t think she was going to make it. I then started the habit of needing it when I woke up. It became a “friend”. I needed it to talk to people on the phone, I needed it to work, I needed it to drive, I needed it to function. It became a treat at the end of the day, something to look forward to.
When my mom died in 2020, on the way home from the hospital my now ex that drove me home brought me a pack of them I smoked all five black and mild wines within a hour. From then on til now I’ve depended on smoking to get me through each and everything big, small, good or bad in my life. To the point of I am always thinking about it.
I was hospitalized for two weeks and quit. And picked it right back up when I got out even though I knew I wasn’t supposed to be smoking because I had a surgery coming up. I only stopped one day before surgery. And I smoked the day after I had my surgery. I have a problem but I know I can quit because I did while hospitalized.
That’s part of my long story haha. I hope I won’t fail. And I am so very thankful for this community.
P.S Any tips on navigating this website are much appreciated. Please feel free to comment and/or message me. Thanks 🙂
