Today

[Eric_L.]

I'm not where I was but I'm not where I want to be.  I'm happy to be on this journey.  I'm learning what it means in practice to not have to control people, places or things anymore.

I never thought that stopping smoking would coincide with other positive life changes.  Insecurity and not being okay with me kept me using nicotine and people for a long time.  The reality is that my perception was wrong. I didn't need nicotine to numb, distract or replace my insecurity.  It's safe for me to vulnerable, real and intimate.

That openess looks like one thing at home, one thing at work, one thing with friends, enemies, family, shopping, money, etc.  It all reduces to one thing: mindfulness.  Acceptance of things as they are.  Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be.

Trust in God and not in people places or things.  Often hard to do in the moment but I believe that is what life is trying to teach me.