But I think time has come to bring that again in the forefront of my conscience. Some negative events took place in my life, but nothing compared to struggles for life, including chemotherapy or induced coma. I did not feel compelled to write about my own struggles, when knowing what some of our friends here at EX are going through.
We all have our ups and downs but if in the process we remember the things we are grateful for, that changes drastically the outlook we have in life.
First, some of you know I am (or so I believe, the Insurance Co has not confirmed it yet) in Short Term Disability, and that is for Anxiety and Severe Depression. These things have followed me for many years, but I never took real steps to correct them. I did attempt some anti-depressants along the way, but they all made the Insomnia way worse, so I only used them by short period of times. And I never attempted counseling. Maybe is a cultural thing, maybe is my upbringing by a military man, teaching me I need to be strong at all times, maybe life never gave me enough time to do it. But I am going to do it now. My first appointment is on Tuesday at 2:30.
You all know I cried a lot during my quit, and that is fine, it was my way of releasing the stress. I did not scream, stomped, released profanities, I just cried, and it helped.
And on this already fragile state, Nello’s accident happened. But he is going to be good, as good as new once he finishes the antibiotic and his hair will grow back where the vet cleaned up the wounds.
So here goes: I am so deeply grateful for my family, who supported my recovery the best they knew, for my friends at EX who are doing it every day, grateful for my beloved pets still around me, some at very advanced age, grateful for the state of my health, manageable for my age, for my legs taking me for long walks, even if the knees need to be supported to do so; grateful my son is well and living the life he elected, with his best friend as his wife; grateful I still have a job that pays STD, so I can take a step back from the busy work life to take care of myself; grateful the cravings are almost gone, and I look at myself as a permanent Ex-smoker!!!
Hoping this is a little of me exposed in front of my friends as a learning opportunity and not just TMI, I wish you all a wonderful weekend!
Daniela 190 DOF
