This is embarrassing.....

[kristen-9-7-15]

Well, this is becoming embarrassing and pathetic! I have quit and started so many times I lost count. I do good for a bit and then my negative thinking takes over and I wonder what is the point. I am in my 30's, not married, and childless. Every time I start smoking again is because I'm unhappy; I want to be married and have kids and I often think what's the point of living a long life of loneliness and no family of my own; might as well smoke. 

Sigh..... 11 days, 5 hours, 1 minute smoke free

[YoungAtHeart]

Congratulations on 11 days, 5 hours, 1 minute!!!!

Do you REALLY think carrying around an oxygen tank 24/7 will help your loneliness.  Yeah - I bet there is somebody out there just looking for a lady with some oxygen!!! All kidding aside, smoking only ruins your health, insiduously. 

In addition, do you realize how much time smoking takes out of your life?  You could be joining a political campaign, or volunteering at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter, or training for a 5K.  All of these activities might provide you a chance to meet others your age - male AND female. 

Please don't spend so much time lamenting that your life isn't what you imagined it would be - make what you have into a life you can enjoy!!!!  I can also tell you that your available pool of friends, male and female, will increase a LOT when you quit smoking.  Who really wants to kiss an ashtray-like mouth?

Stay the course this time.  It really IS worth the effort!

Nancy

[froguelady]

Nancy is right, smoking does nothing for but will take alot away from you.  Carring oxgyen with you 24/7 is one of the things smoking will do for you.  There are people here that will verify that.

You can quit and we will help you.  If you don't like your life do something different than what you do now to change it.

[TerrieQuit]

Congratulations on 11 days. That is great! You need to get out of that negative thinking, it will only make you fail! You need to know you can do this! That your life will be better with out smoking! It will ya know!

I am pushing 60 and I am toting oxygen  24/7. It's my own darn fault! But you have 20 years so if there is anything I can do to help you educate yourself about the evils of smoking please let me know!

There is a book called "The Easy Way To Stop Smoking" Have you read it?

There are alot of Elders on here that have great information on their pages! They encourage snooping! There is great information to educate yourself. Read, read, read!

Come here and blog and comment. Stay close to this site and don't quit quitting!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terrie  74  DOF

[jonilou]

I wonder if sometimes it's not too easy to gloss over the struggles of day to day living that each of us go through. Kristen, I don't think you are pathetic at all. It takes a great deal of courage to come back here and be real with us. 

Our minds and negative (about ourselves) thinking can really defeat us. Today is a very bad day for me, but I know that tomorrow will be better. I will be glad that in my misery I didn't go to the store right down the block and buy cigarettes. There's no point in smoking really. That's the place your mind needs to circle around to. It doesn't make anything better. 

I know how hard this can be but there is a reason and purpose for you to be here. I, for one, am very glad you stopped by tonight. Keep going. Value YOU enough to keep going.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

The vast majority of Men aren't smokers and most of them don't look for smoking girlfriends so quitting increases your odds of finding Mr. Right! Also, becoming Addiction FREE will teach you ever so much about yourself and boost your Self Esteem! Stick around and work the program. Lots of things get better when we live Smoke FREE!

[kristen-9-7-15]

Grandbunn~ yes, I have read Allen Carr; every time I've quit as a matter of fact 🙂 It is a great book and at the time of reading it, it is a tremendous help, BUT, then my sadness and negative thinking takes over. I'm actually reading it, again, as we speak. 

[YoungAtHeart]

We will be with you and offer encouragement and support every step of the way.

Lean on us!  Blog - don't smoke!

Nancy

[Giulia]

Sigh, well, gee, I don't know if you're gonna be able to do this, 'cause loneliness is part of life and we don't always get what we want, and you've failed in the past so many times, and you're probably right, what's the point anyway, and you need to have SOMETHING in your life that gives you some comfort, right?  And that cigarette is just gonna wrap it poisoned arms around you and keep feeding those pretty lies and you'll just keep coming back here every couple of years after the next failed attempt and....

SLAP!  Oh, no, that was just a bad dream I had.  I was pretending I was you.  Sorry. 

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!  Right now.  YOU are in charge of your life.  Well, at least your attitude about it.  You don't have to be it's victim.  You have 11 DAYS QUIT!!!  You're a CHAMPION.  Can you hear me yelling from Tennessee?  YOU'VE GOT THIS!  All you need to do is embrace it.  You want to feel better about yourself, your life?  Stay quit.  Keep your commitment.  It's the better part of you, the BEST part of you saying "I'm worth it!"  LISTEN TO THAT PART.  Not the other part.  The other part is self defeating.  The other part eats hopelessness for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Sup from the highest, most noble part of you.  The one that says "I'm worth it and I CAN and I WILL." 

You've been quit 11 days.  Don't look at past failures, rather look toward future successes.  Plan for them.  What will you do on your 100th quit day to celebrate?  

As far as the loneliness - that's what you tackle once you've gained the empowerment from this journey, from knowing you CAN be a long-term quitter.  There is nothing quite so empowering as conquering an addiction.  Everything after that is a piece of cake.  But then - so is quitting if you make your mind up for it to be that way.  It's all in our minds.  And it's an ever learning process.  Hang in.

[Sootie]

I have an aunt who never married and is childless.

She turned 98 years old last Friday ----September 11.

27 of us showed up to celebrate her wonderful, amazing life. She received cards from 56 family members.

She was our "go to" person......she never contradicted our parents. But she let us vent when we were angry with our parents and then gently led us back to knowing they were right. She did this for my generation of kids; then she did it for our kids and she is now still loving the newest generation of our kids kids. 

She always gave the BEST presents.....not expensive, but as if she just knew this little thing you were wanting. She was always sending interesting articles on things to do with our lives. She had great taste and we all loved her apartment and wanted all the things in it.

Marriage and having children is great. However, life can be just as full and rewarding in other ways. Thomas wrote a blog this evening....Let Go and Let God..........whatever your life will be, it will be BETTER and longer with not smoking. You are in your 30's and your life is ready and waiting. Don't decide it can only be one way.......grab it and live.

Stay Strong-----we are here for you.

[moody_9-18-13]

If I could give Sootie's reply to you TWO high fives, I would have. When I first quit, I would copy and paste messages from others onto a word doc that I titled, My Quit.  I kept it on my desktop and when I really needed those messages they were at my fingertips to open the file and read them all. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I felt alone, tired, worried or just couldn't sleep, those messages of encouragement given to others and to me from others made me realize I had a family here that cares. 

You do too.

Come here often, feel the love and caring of your EX family. 

[Eric_L.]

Great comments.   You can do this.

One of things I've learned on this journey is that those negative emotions are part of life.  That doesn't mean that they can't be insufferabley painful.

I believe that you can do this.

I believe that by focusing on learning how to be smoke free, by bookending your days here in the blogs, that the other areas of your life will make some sense and that you will have glimpses of happiness.

[jimmypage]

All the comments on here are fantastic. I don't have much to add except that we attract what we want into our own lives by making it clear what we do and do not want. By having those 11 smoke free days under your belt you are telling the world that you are ready for the financial and physical health aspects of starting a family and I truly believe you are more likely to attract a partner into your life by being smoke free, but that's just my opinion. Congratulations on 11 days, now let's make it 12!

[Zendlewise]

Wow, so many great comments and advise.  Listen you are gonna get the blues in the beginning....it is hard not to; but just remember, that nobodys life is a bed of roses, and anyone can 'talk ' themselves into smoking because of lifes shortcomings.  You will feel better, Kristin. just please hang in there.  I think you are doing great, and will beat this smoking thing.

[carolynt]

Congratulations on 11 days!  I'm on day 12 and feel pretty proud of myself for that.  I do realize I have a long way to go but let's take it one day at a time.  We can do this!  I believe it's usually when you least expect it that someone will come into your life, I know it was for me.  Just try to concentrate on making you a better you and the confidence you will achieve may attract that special person!  Wish I had been smart enough to quit when I was your  age.  Let's just hang in there!