I think the fact that I'm smoking is not good for my self esteem, and in the long run that makes it more difficult to deal with my emotions... it's also keeping me from doing things that I enjoy and that help my mood, like exercise...
I know that for me, and for other people with certain mental health problems, quitting may actually be a lot more difficult, and we need to be prepared for that... thought I was going to take the positive attitude "easy" way out last time and I was broken down before the 12 hour mark... but, just because it's difficult, doesn't mean it can't be done.
I did a search for some mental health groups here, I found nothing for BPD but a few for bipolar, that were not very active.. the one person who commented on my blog before saying she was also BPD no longer has an account. I haven't done a google search on it yet though, so maybe I will find some support out there.
As it stands, my options right now are to quit after the half pack I have left, or overdraw my account to buy more since I don't get money til the 1st...
I am starting my DBT group tomorrow as well... haven't got a lot going on the next few weeks aside from a couple appointments, so, if I'm gonna be a wreck, suppose now would be a good time to go through it.
For anyone concerned, I've made a commitment to not hurting myself... yes it can be far more painful to sit through an overwhelming emotion, but I keep practicing ways of going through it, rather than completely freaking out and desperately trying to stop it... It will take a lot of practice to get good at regulating my emotions, but I am hopeful, I know they won't kill me, they are temporary, and the only real harm they can cause is when I choose to act out.
Feeling uncertain right now... I'm going to work on a project, making a fun and easy to read flow chart type thing, with suggestions for actions to take when I feel overwhelmed, that I know will work for me, so i don't end up panicked and trying to google for ideas and end up frustrated..
anybody else with experience in mental disorders, please share any tips that work for you... i appreciate the help.
