I haven't quit yet but, I wrote this to remind myself why I want to quit and why I quit in the past.
I hate the otter loss of control I feel and that my life is ruled by a substance rather than by me.
I hate that I can't do physical activity for more then a little bit because I'm weesing or need a smoke.
I hate that smoking makes me smell bad. Everyone likes to smell good.
I hate the yellow film on EVERYTHING. My teeth, my fingers, the inside of my car windows, but most of all, the depressing yellow film on the white walls of my apartment.
I hate that it makes me feel weak when I fail to quit.
I hate the taste in my mouth due to smoking and the tast of ciggerettes (most of the time).
I hate the comments by non-smokers that seem to belittle me because I smoke.
I hate feeling like a poor role model to my young nephews.
I hate being asked for a smoke on the street by a stranger and not being able to say "Sorry, I don't smoke."
I hate waking up in the middle of the night because I need a smoke.
I hate not being able to participate in events that don't leave me an oppertunity to smoke every hour our so.
I hate the cost (in money) of smoking.
I hate the health concerns that smoking causes.
To be fair there are a few things I like about smoking and here they are:
I like the feeling of the first smoke of the day, there is nothing quite like it.
I sort of like to play with my smoke (make rings, french inhale, and blow bubbles with smoke)
I like that it is easier to make friends (every smoker has to hang out in the same location and we always can talk about our sin and how we are picked on by society)
I also really enjoy that cig after a meal it just seems to go real well (trigger!)
Well, I'm glad to see there are more things I hate then like about smoking. Perhaps quitting is just around the corner. Good luck to everyone.
