The past couple days have been hellish feeling when it comes to this quit and maintaining my motivation. The "newness" is wearing off. I seem to be entering what those over at quitnet call "no man's land" much sooner this time around. Perhaps it is because I have quit before for an extended period of time, I dunno.
I've just had a hard time b/c my mind is fixating on the addiction again. I spend a lot of time grinding my teeth lol
I actually contemplated briefly going and buying a pack and smoking a couple and throwing them out. Then I came to my senses. But I contemplated it. Gee, will I ever not contemplate it? I hope so. Obviously 8 months isn't long enough either to stop contemplating it b/c I broke an 8 month quit before. So clearly I contemplated it 8 months later.
My hatred for this habit is the only thing that keeps me from going back I think...the hatred of what it does to my health...the way I feel, ect. Thankfully that is a pretty strong feeling.
All I can think about is if I went back, how awful I would feel. I think of the people I know both IRL and online who have suffered b/c of cigarettes...either themselves or watching someone they loved suffer because of the toll the addiction eventually takes.
I think I need to be more protective of this quit though... since I know I have went back before... since I realize how easy it would be to go back.
