The next one!

[justsayno3]

I was driving home from work with my wife yesterday. I was proud that I had made it thus far through my first day of becoming and EX and had not smoked. We always smoked on the ride home together. I knew she wanted to smoke. I told her, "Go ahead. Have a cigarette. I cannot let your choice influence my decision to quit." She was nice and did not smoke in the car with me. Love her.

But the conversation about quitting resulted in the question she asked me, "What is your favorite cigarette of the day? Is it the first one in the morning with coffee? Is it the relaxing smoke after a meal? Maybe the last one of the day in the evening before bed? "

I thought about it and answered, " My favorite cigarette of the day is the next one. That is the one I crave."

The enjoyment of the last 250,000 cigarettes is gone. There is only one I care about and that is the next one. So if I let myself have that one, then the only smoke I will miss is the next one after that. And as long as I live, the only cigarette I will look forward to is the next one.

I am on day 2 and my resolve says do not under any circumstances fall into the trap that "just one or two" will be o,k. It won't. I will be just like I was for the last 35 years. Looking forward to the next cigarette. Because that is the one I am gonna enjoy the most. Not One Puff Ever. For me.

[Jordan-11-1-12]

Looking at cigarettes as something enjoyable is not good for your quit. The relief of withdrawal symptoms is what we experienced when we lit up. That would be like banging your head against the wall for an hour and saying that you enjoy stopping.  Have you read Allen Carr's book?  ....http://digg.com/newsbar/topnews/Allen_Carr_s_Easy_Way_To_Stop_Smoking_Download_free_PDF

Yes, we are physically addicted to nicotine, but the hardest battle in quitting smoking is the mental one. We need to understand what smoking does to our way of thinking so that we can re-train our brains. Having it in your head that you enjoyed smoking will only make going back to it possible. They call that "romancing" the cigarette. Its dangerous.

The choice can't be whether to smoke that next cigarette or not. Smoking is no longer an option because you choose to be a non smoker. The question is what to do when a crave hits, and how to retrain our brains to a life without feeding our addiction.

Congrats on 2 days!!  You can do this if you change your mind set!!!

[SarahP]

Jordan is 100% right, but I think we may be a little confused? I didn't take your blog to mean you "enjoy" it or are romancing it. I took it to mean that if your favorite one is always your next one, then you are never satisfied, and have never actually enjoyed the ones you smoked. Because the "enjoyment" is actually nothing but stopping withdrawal. 

If that's what you meant, congrats!  That is one of the major "ah-ha" moments of this journey, and one of the best personal insights you can have! 

[Breakinchains]

It's amazing what a heart attack can do for one's resolve. I had a stroke three years ago and haven't smoked since. Kind of scares you into quitting huh? It's good that you realize there is no enjoyment in smoking, as indicated by your 250,000 comment, lol. It is also good that you realize you cannot have just one. This is the trap of addiction, it's how a lot of us get lured back in. Congrats on day 2, sounds like you are doing well. Oh, and congrats on not smoking in the car, that is no small victory there!

[Ex_Nancy]

Yes, it was a vicious cycle...and the only way to break this addiction is to starve it. Otherwise, as you said, then it's the next one, then the next one and the next one...Congrats on Day 2!!!

[Jordan-11-1-12]

oh lol then we agree lol

[froguelady]

Good job on protecting your quit.  You are very right a smoker's favorite cigarette being the next one, that is all I ever thought about. Keep your good attitude, you doing great.

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

True...ya can't have just one cause they travel in packs. It kinda sounds like the wife is considerin it. Keep up the good quit.

M n @

[JonesCarpeDiem]

i'll have a glazed twist please

[jojo_2-24-11]

That is a very good way to look at it! Great Job on day 2!

[johio]

Stay strong we are all one cigarette away from 1000

[Strudel]

Congrats on day 2! I think your reference to the "next one" totally describes the addtiction involved here. So - you recognize that that is what this is all about! Getting past that addiction. NOPE is the way to go!!! Congrats again!

[IrishRose]

I love your blog!  Excellent thought process - love it!

[IrishRose]

Congratulations on two days, and the next day will be three!  : )

[lois13]

congrats on day 2 like your blog, hang in there

[stonecipher]

Yes, you "get it" and are doing great.  I think you are  truly quit.  I also think your wife's question shows that she is getting serious, too.  Your matter-of-fact way of handling your quit, and her smoking, is going to help her decide to quit, I'm betting.

Good on you!

[Dakota_Posse]

Encore!!!!!  Well done!!!!

Cindy

[Brenda_M]

You know, it's rare that someone says something about smoking that is actually new to me...I've been "trying" to quit for nine years. I've read Allen Carr dozens of times and NOPE and on and on. Sometimes things glom on better than usual (I have four different highlight colors in my "Easy Way" book, and when I look at some of the things I highlighted, I remember the feeling I had when I read it *that* time, but still can't figure out why I felt that way). But you, today, wrote something that was new and amazing and awesome. And you're on day 2! Looking forward to more of your insights!

[judy96]

I need help and encouragement to quit soon as possible ....my husband just had a double lung transplant and is currently staying at a guest house in Dallas at UT Southwest ...I have to quit if I am going to live here with him...I am having a hard time with so many different emotions ...I love him so very much so I must quit before he gets home.

[sue47]

im right with you , and this week is really testing me, but i will stay strong. im always finding things to do and staying busy. 

[gregp136]

It is amazing the gems that can be found on this site!

[TW517]

No kidding! I missed this one. Thanks for bringing it back!

[SaraPeach]

I love your answer to your wife's question! That is so true and thank you for sharing your insight with us. Congrats on your quit!

[SaraPeach]

Oh, I see this is a really old post. Still love it though!