The clock is still running

[jean-michel]

Dark and moody plus self-pity is a baaad combination. I think I could make Pollock and Van Gogh look like pep squad members right now. I almost gave in, even had it to my lips. I'll congratulate myself tomorrow. Maybe then I'll feel a bit better and have a lighter (no pun intended) poem. I hate this! I know the hurt is healing but it still hurts.

Van Gogh's "Skull of a Skeleton with Burning Cigarette" , oil on canvas, 1885.

[lifepunctuation]

omg, i feel you, maybe we should go to a poetry slam or something and discuss our melancholy lives as living/breathing/non-smokers... i feel like such an ass for moping about acting like an idot for being sooo depressed over this thing, but it is what it is... just wish it didn't have to be like this. i feel like i'm in a bottomless pit and need someone to physically push my fat ass out toward the latter and life vest at the edge. i'm on day twenty now and am exhausted from all of the emotions/anxiety/fear/bargaining and what-not. so you are NOT alone in this! we'll make it! all we have to do is NOT smoke! that's it!

[jennie3]

Encouragement | Forward this picture

[jan__tx]

o my 🙂

[edith2]

What you're feeling is normal. Quitting sucks. You don't have to like it. Just get through it the best you can. Trust me, once you get through the rough part, you'll feel better than you have in years.

[AutumnWoman]

Depression, melancholy, dark moods were a part of my early quit. They are actually a part of a lot of people's recovery, especially if you had a history of depression before your quit. You can get through it, and you don't have to smoke. Keep writing and talking to people, self-monitor, and if it doesn't lift, see your doctor.

[AutumnWoman]

I wanted to add, acceptance of how you're feeling sometimes helps to make the mood pass.

[carole_]

Juice helps with the swings, B-12 helps too, so does the supplement 5-HTP. If you can take supplements, the latter two are easy to find in the local drug store, Wal-mart or Target. Water, water, water, to flush out that system never hurts. 🙂

I agree with Edith and Sheryl, and many others would jump on board their comments too. In the very beginning of the quit the separation from our habitual ritual, the transition in our head to no longer buying the lie that we thought nicotine was for us, the transition into being a non-smoker and getting used to life without smoking every other minute, and my personally toughest transition, not looking at a cigarette as my personal baby "binky." Something I stuck in my mouth every time I needed to pacify myself.

All kinds of positive changes happening physically and mentally even though early on it seems awful at times. All necessary to get to the other side of this. Best part....ALL TEMPORARY. Know that each day you add is one step closer to real freedom. There does come a day when we just don't think about smoking. It becomes 'that thing' we did in the past. Yet, ever mindful of the fact that there is no such thing as just one for us. So, as long as we no longer use nicotine, we'll enjoy the life and benefits of a non-smoker. And what a life it is! 🙂

Congrats! Keep going! You truly are doing great! Blog any time you need to! Write before you light, as they say!