The addict within is trying to take my dignity. The Monster (which I have a really sick relationship with) is really pissing me off. It’s like a love hate relationship. A part of me really misses this abusive partner, and I have to ask myself – How sick is that? Like a true addict I also think, I don’t care, this is too hard and I really miss the Monster. The Monster all ready even convinced me that I had to stay away from my fellow Exer’s because they just make me think about smoking too much. So I did. The Monster won and I didn’t post, read or respond for a few days, and as a result, The Monster kicked my butt and I puffed. Now I am back at day 4 after a 10 day quit. Now I feel really pissed off at myself because I feed the Monster.
Even at this very moment, I hear the Monster whispering in my ear, don’t post this. Just go to the store buy a pack and be done with this, just one more …
Grrrrrr, This sux’s . I’m not going to listen to the Monster. I am going to post this because I have realized this past week just how fragile I really am.
