cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Share your quitting journey

The Tie That Binds Us

susan_m
Member
9 18 492

In 2011, the CDC conducted a study and found that almost 70 percent of American smokers want to quit. While more than half of those try to quit each year, only 6 percent succeed.  


Of those 6 percent, there are so many variances in the methods used to quit, so many differences in the way we quit, and very different reactions to the withdrawal that accompanies a quit.  


See Billy over there?  He used  Chantix.  Nancy used Wellbutrin.  Dave and Jim?  They went cold turkey. Samantha used lozenges, and her husband Tim used the patch, when he remembered to put it on, that is.  As for John, he followed the step-down process of the patch religiously. Tiffany was hypnotized, but had to use nicotine gum as well because it was just too hard to fight the cravings. Andrew, well, Andrew used the patch, then he used gum, then he used Zyban, then he finally just put them down. 


They all quit smoking. 


Which method was right?  All of them. Which method was best?  All of them.  Which method is fool-proof?  None of them.


What made the difference?  Billy, Nancy, Dave, Jim, Samantha, Tim, John, Tiffany and Andrew all accepted the fact that they were addicts.  Well, Andrew finally accepted it after three failed attempts. They all used the tools that worked for them to help support their decision to beat the addiction.  


There are many who try and try and try again to quit, but never fully understand that smoking is an addiction.  When you accept the addiction for what it is and stop fooling yourself into thinking that you can beat this "if you want", you'll gain control of your addiction and win back the freedom of your life. 


Here was my moment of acceptance; it came months after I quit:  The Biggest Lie.  Had I not reached this moment, I may not have made it to the 6 percent club.  


Our addiction is not the tie that binds us, but rather it is the acceptance of that addiction.

Acceptance is the most powerful tool in your arsenal, but for many, denial keeps it out of reach. 

Denial is your addiction's most powerful tool, and you are the only one who can beat it. 


If you're struggling with your quit, if you're relapsing, or if you're just here lurking around while you think about quitting, break through the denial to the honesty of your addiction and you've taken the first real step toward freedom.  


Acceptance.  That is the tie that binds us.  

the-tie-that-binds (1).jpg

18 Comments
crazymama_Lori

the truth is being spoken right here.  Speaking for myself, it finally became easier once I too came to the acceptance that smoking thoughts will always be with me.  I know that I can never have just one and I'm okay with that. 

TW517
Member

Years ago, I used to always have a cigarette first thing in the morning before I did anything else.  I also used to smoke pretty close to 25 cigarettes a day.  Then the annual questionnaire that my doctor had me fill out before my physical, started to include questions about smoking.  "Do you smoke over a pack per day?"  "Do you smoke first thing in the morning?"  I assumed that if I answered yes to these, I would be considered an addict.  Well, I couldn't have that.  So I immediately cut down to about 18 per day, and stalled having my first cigarette for about an hour after I got up.  Voila!  See?!  I'm not an addict!  I convinced myself of that for another 20 years.

Daniela2016
Member

Great blog Susan, and so very true!  Accepting we are addicts in the same category with all addicts, and in no way better than anyone depending on some kind "help" to live, is the guarantee we can work on freeing ourselves. 

It was only after I accepted this truth, that NOPE became part of my beliefs as the only action keeping me from ever giving in to the addiction again.  I know now, this place thought me how to look at myself as a smoker, how to embrace the addict I am, and how to live my life forward as a free person.  As long as NOPE remains my mantra, I remain a free person, a former smoker, an EX, and proud to be one!

And I call the ties we have to each other friendship, for this becomes stronger every day I stop by: it is the feeling of gratitude about what I have been thought here, and the feeling of belonging, and the knowing everyone here understands my challenges, and invites me in their homes and I do the same.  It is a place of safety, heartbreak sometimes, joy and laughter while learning to stick together, and remain free.

Thank you EX for helping us become EX!

YoungAtHeart
Member

EXcellent blog, Susan!  Perhaps that is the reason my first and only quit stuck.  I accepted that I was an addict, that I was going to have to relearn my life as a recovering one, and that I could never again have one puff.  I must admit there are STILL times when the addict still within whispers, :"gee, a cigarette would be nice right now!" and maybe it would.  But I KNOW (and accept) that there will never, for me, be "just one."  And I'm OK with that.

Nancy

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

When I gave it my all NOPE no matter what was happening.  Great Blog.  1059 DOF

c2q
Member

What a beautiful blog, Sooz. You capture a truth of it all - and it is that truth that sets us free from tobacco.

There's admitting the addiction, yes. As important as that it, for me, it came late.

I was quit a long time before I really understood that part. It was the act of wrestling with the monster, realizing the strength of my commitment, that finally let me see my own addiction for what it was.

The first step for me, and the tie that binds me to every other EX tobacco user, is this:

I keep it away from my face.

Deb-EX
Member

I LOVE your blogs Susan!! I also read "The Biggest Lie"  and you are so spot on in both. I love the way you write.. it's almost like you're speaking directly to me, or maybe it was something I could have wrote.

Admitting the addiction I've been ignoring for so many years - was/IS a RELIEF to me! Had I not had the bad bout of Bronchitis that I did, I would still be smoking right now. I only really truly understood the word "Addicted" the moment I realized that drawing a drag off a cigarette was more important than me actually being able to breath. It was in that moment I knew, if I didn't stop I was heading to some serious sickness. Acceptance.. 11/12/17 

I've not regretted it for a day since... Do I have craves? oh heck ya ! But with this group and blogs like this, I am AWARE... to me that's half the battle.

Thanks for this today..

  Debbie 37 Days smoke Free 

Deb-EX
Member

So true!!

susan_m
Member

Isn't acknowledging addiction liberating?  Thanks for keeping it so real.  "I keep it away from my face".  Love it!

susan_m
Member

Thank you, Deb, You will remember 11/12/17 forever.   

susan_m
Member

Isn't it funny the lengths we'll go to avoid a label?  Finally letting go of that pressure makes all the difference in the world.

Deb-EX
Member

You are soooo sweet Susan... Thank you, that means a lot to me!      

Mandolinrain
Member

awesome blog! For me it was acceptance and understanding WHY I kept wanting to smoke. Once I accepted the fact that my behavior must stop and LEARNED WHY I kept wanting that smoke..It made the difference for me....true acceptance .

Thank you for this VERY wise post

susan_m
Member

Thank you Missy......I found relief and freedom in my acceptance, and then my quit became easier. I simply let it go, and like you, relearned habits and reset myself as a non-smoker. Freedom!

shashort
Member

Great blog Susan.  In the beginning I had no clue it was an addiction, I thought it was just a bad habit I should be able to stop.  When I first read it was an addiction I truely went into denial and shock. It took me a while to get it and accept it but once I did and NOPE really became real to me. That I could never have one puff again! I truely am good with that. And I am oving my freedom from addiction.

elvan
Member

susan_m  I am SO GLAD that you are back.  What a great blog.  Yeah, that addiction word throws people...I KNEW I was an addict, why ELSE would I keep smoking?  We are definitely bound by that tie!

Giulia
Member

Great blog.  Just bookmarked it.  Happy New Year.

Mike.n.Atlanta

Thank you Susan. Loved it.

It's very easy to admit you're an addict...it takes a little more to truly believe it.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @