Who would have thought that I would be moving from a place I've resided in for 33 years and a town I've resided in for 40 years. I came from a town with 76,000 people, moved to a city with well over 700,000, back to a city with only 13,000, moving to a town with only 1,000 people. It was an adjustment for me. But at that time I was a very heavy smoker and drank my fair share. That's how I dealt with stress, loneliness, frustration and anger. I never smoked a lot when I was happy and content. I learned a lot about myself during these almost 6 years being quit.
Now, back to this move to the great up nort. I'm packing up belongings that were in this house for a long time that has yellowed through the years. Mind you, it's not from age. It's from my years of puffing on a cigarette from sun up to sun down. I've taken down pictures and the silhouettes remain on the walls where they hung all these years. I've gone through years and years of things. Things I've held on to. Things I no longer need.
Now, you ask yourself, what in heck is this lady writing this for? I was packing up my kitchen which is the very last thing left to do and I've done about half of it. Of course I had to sit down because I had to stretch my back out and take a break. Bam, the thought of a cigarette came to mind. That wonderful reward smoke or could it be the frustration kicking in? This is a new experience for me, moving, being a nonsmoker or what I like to refer to myself as a former smoker. So the thought of smoking to me was understandable because that's how I always dealt with life. I gave myself that five minutes to reflect.
Smoking is that “thing” I no longer need or even presents itself as a need anymore. I just turned around, went into my office filled with boxes for the movers, and started typing this. Expressing my thoughts in writing has always been a tremendous help to me during the first few years of quitting. I'd start out in a whirlwind and then wind down to a gentle breeze. That's why blogging is so important in the beginning of your quit. A helping hand will show up with encouragement or a similar story to remind you that what you are feeling are normal and expected and okay.
Be sure to use the search function on this site to find things or symptoms or even thoughts that you are thinking by searching for certain words; tired, angry, depressed, confused, grief. There is going to be a blog somewhere by someone at some time that wrote about the very thing you are searching for. It's just a reminder, we've all been through it. Went through it and found our way out. I write this to really tell you that smoking “thoughts” will pop up from time to time. It's nothing to be afraid of or even concern yourself with. Just sit down, slow down, and see your surroundings. What exactly is making you think of smoking? Why do you think that “thing” will satisfy a need that you longer have? Give yourself those few minutes to calm your brain, stop your impulse and go on with your beautiful quit.
